I've been pondering a lot lately what God has next for me and for my family. Let me try and explain....
When we began our adoption journey, I was so on fire for the cause of orphans and was overwhelmed with purpose to make a difference for their cause. Our family stepped out in faith to adopt a child because we believed it was a way that God could use our family....we knew we could not make a difference to 143 million orphans, but we knew we could to one. We felt convicted that if all Christians worked together to care for these sweet children, we could together make a difference. We were excited to feel this sense of purpose and passion and thought this must be "it". This is what God had for our family.
Well, fast forward about a year and a half. We are home with our precious boy, and we couldn't be happier. Elijah is an amazing gift and he is our own. But, you see, that's just it. We have grown our family to include Eli because by the grace of God, He chose us to parent this beautiful child. We are so grateful. So, you can see how we feel like we really have done nothing for the cause of orphans at all, but only received this blessing that God had for us.
I still carry the same passion to make a difference in the lives of these fatherless children. So, that leaves me asking, "What next?" What do I do now.....now that I have received this gift, and discovered my heart for the least of these...what do I do now?
I partially know the answer. In the previous post I talked about a new orphan care and adoption ministry I am a part of launching in our church. It is something God planted in my heart not long after we decided to adopt and I was beginning to discover how big the orphan crisis really was. I have no idea where God is going to take this ministry or what He has in mind....but I am excited to be along for the ride! It is my hope and prayer that God will use it to help these kids. I hope that people's hearts will be stirred to do something to help children in need....I don't care if they are next door or around the world....wherever God leads you. I hope this ministry will be a resource and encouragement for families hoping to adopt - but I also hope that it will be bigger than that. That families who do not feel called to adopt will find meaningful ways to connect with these kids and make a difference. All of that to say, I do feel purposeful in being a part of this ministry and I know it is part of the role God has for me in this cause.
But still, I find myself searching. I can hear some of you now....yes, I have four kids; yes, I am home schooling; and yes, I am involved in this church ministry. But the burden God has laid on my heart for the orphan is real and my heart is stirred to do more. What does that mean? I don't know. Will we adopt again? Quite possibly. Does it mean working in and growing in this ministry? I think so.
I guess now that we are home, it just feels like we've returned to "life as normal" and I'm not sure I'm OK with that. Yes, my life is good. But I don't want to grow comfortable with "good" and "normal". I want to live my life in a way that is purposeful and not about me. Admittedly, I am not very good at that yet, and it's easier said than done. But, I hope, through the searching and the desire to be purposeful for Him, I will continue to discover what exactly it is He has for me to do. Until then, we will enjoy these blessings we've been given and keep our eyes open for the next!