Well, one thing is for sure - this adoption thing is a roller coaster!
Yesterday, we received the wonderful news that our dossier had been approved and sent to Ethiopia - It was a time of feeling God's faithfulness and knowing that He would bring us through this adoption and provide for all our needs! It's easy to feel that way when things are going well.....
Later that afternoon, we received an email from our agency that our adoption fees were increasing and will affect us to the tune of an extra $3000 we weren't planning on. Hmmmm.......where did that feeling of certainty and celebration I had earlier go? Now, $3000 may not be a lot to some of you, but at this point, it is huge to us considering what we were already needing to come up with. I felt so discouraged and even angry that this would be happening. I mean, we're trying to do a good thing here, and these obstacles just make it harder!!
So, after feeling anger, fear, and bewilderment, I came to this: I cannot control this. I cannot change the fees, even if I wanted to. (and BTW - the fees are being raised because of increased costs everywhere and our agency's desire to provide good care for the children in Ethiopia before they come home as well as add more staff there, etc. The cost of food in Ethiopia has gone up by 400%!) The only thing I can control in this situation is my response, and so, I have a choice. I can sit in fear and entertain my anxiety, or I can choose to trust Him. God knew about these fee increases from the beginning - nothing surprises Him. He is our provider and so even when we can't see where all of this is going to come from, we have to trust that it will in fact come. (although I'd really love a post it note letting me know the plan!)
We believe that this is God's plan for our family and He isn't going to leave us now. I cannot tell you that I won't have moments of stress and anxiety, but I am going to do my best to not let that overcome me. I will choose to trust!