WE NEED YOU!!!

Our family has been chosen to receive a $2500 MATCHING GRANT from Lifesong for Orphans!!

Can you help us meet our goal?   Your $10 becomes $20 or your $25 becomes $50!!

This gift of a grant came at just the right time as our family awaits hearing of our court date in Ethiopia and the date we will make our first trip!  (SOON!)  We need to raise the funds for our first trip, and possibly second.    We have many expenses left in this adoption - two trips to Ethiopia (about $11,000), a referral fee which is $8500 alone, $1200 more in agency fees, our post placement reports, etc.

It is humbling to put this out there, but we need your help.   When we started this adoption, I told Nathan that I would not fund raise...we had done it before, and I didn't want people to get sick of us.   However, after I saw sweet Samuel's face and we are faced with all of these expenses, I realize that it's not about us, but about bringing him HOME...and about giving you an opportunity to be a part.

Thank you for ANY part you can play!  We are so appreciative!!

GIVE HERE:

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=N4T9Q3SLYLV4N

  

THANK YOU!!

 

It's a BOY!!

For this child I have prayed,

And the Lord has granted the desires of my heart.

1 Samuel 1:27

We have a referral!!!   We are excited to announce our referral for a precious little boy!   We knew time was approaching for our referral, but the call came as such a surprise!    (We were actually watching the vice presidential debate...it was a welcome diversion!)   He just turned 2 years old, although we all agree that he looks younger and smaller, so we'll see how things unfold.  In any case, he is adorable!

We were stumped for a short time on a boy's name.   I had chosen a girl's name that I just love - Selah - not because I was wishing for a girl, but just because I love that name.   So, it took us a little time to figure out what to name the little guy.    One day I was praying specifically about his name, and the verse that popped into my head was the one above - 1 Samuel 1:27.   It seemed perfect - Samuel.   Such a sweet name, and such a beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness in blessing us with this son.

We are hoping to be submitted to court in the next couple of weeks and will wait for a court date to be given.    We can't wait to travel to Ethiopia and meet Samuel in person!  Unfortunately, he will not come home with us the first trip.  BOO.   If it weren't for little things like school, work, and airfare for 9 people, I'd just move us all to Ethiopia for the few months between our two trips, but unfortunately that's not a possibility.   Again I say, BOO.

The kids are excited, and the little boys talk often about being big brothers and all that they will teach Samuel (you can pray for me on that one...I'm a little afraid of what they might teach him!).    We are planning his room, taking out the little boys' outgrown clothes to pass down, and having fun preparing for his homecoming.

We would appreciate your prayers for him as we wait, for his little heart and all that he's endured in his young life.   Please pray for our family as we prepare and for the adjustment to come.  We would also love prayers for financial provision to complete this adoption...we have not fundraised (except for a Facebook blitz) this time, and are hoping not to as we don't want friends and family to tire of us.  However, there is a very real need.   We've applied for a few grants, and are hoping to hear from them before our first trip.

We're so glad to share our news with you!    We'll keep you posted!!

God is good.

My heart is full.   My God is good.   And my words are inadequate to express it to you all.

This post isn't about adoption - although because our family is in our third adoption process, the story will include adoption.   This post is about what happens when you take a scary leap of obedience and do whatever it is God is calling you to do.   For us, adoption.  For you, I don't know.

There is no way I could ever recount all the instances of God's faithfulness in our lives, but lately, I've been so overwhelmed by his goodness and provision.    Four years ago, we started our first adoption process, and while we felt clearly led there and were excited, it was SCARY.   So many questions...what will this look like?   how will we afford it?   how will it affect our at home kids?   how will we afford it?  (oh, did I mention that one already...?)    What we found in the process of following God - despite the questions - was the JOY of obedience and his miraculous provision.   It was a faith stretching journey, but one that proved to us over and over again that he will completely provide, especially when the idea was his in the first place.   The finances - check.   The first real international travel experience (I hated the idea of leaving our kids!) - check.   The adjustment with a new one at home - check.   The positive impact on our kids - check.    The blessing of our Elijah - BIG check.    God is so, so good.

Our second adoption was easier to decide to go ahead with because of what we had experienced the first time....but this time God called us to add THREE children to our family.   Once again, he blew us away by providing.  By far his greatest provision has been in the adjustment to adding that many family members at once.   Friends, I will not gloss over this one.  It was HARD for me.  I love, love these kids, but it's not easy to attach to that many children at once.  It was hard emotionally, financially, logistically, and so on.  If I'm honest, I will tell you that some of this is still a work in progress.    But God is amazingly faithful, and has helped me navigate the most difficult of emotions and times.   God is so good.

So, now we are find ourselves in round 3.   Once again, there are many questions - but we now walk with a fuller faith and an assurance of God's faithfulness that comes through witnessing his hand in your life.    He is once again proving himself faithful.    Let me give you a few examples...

Nathan and I really don't know how this adoption and all of it's related expenses are going to be taken care of.  It's a lot.  Frankly, we're depleted with 7 kids already, and back to back adoptions.   I have applied for some grants, but have not heard much back yet.    We have an adoption related expense due this week that is just under 3G.   Unfortunately, we don't have that lying around, so our plan was to use our home equity line of credit.  Blech.   I hate that.   I felt sick to my stomach about it, but knew it was really the only option we had.   Yesterday, I went to get the mail.....and yep, you guessed it.   A check from a grant (that had never even acknowledged receipt of our application) for THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS.   Yes - that's right - the day before we needed it, the money came in almost the exact amount we needed!!  

Coincidence...?  I think not.   God is good!

Oh - we also got our I171H that day, too.   (for those of you who don't speak adoptionese - this is a VERY important form from the US Immigration Dept that allows you to bring another child home).

God  has also blown is away in the area of Nathan's work.    He works so, so hard to support all of us, and we love him for it!  He works full time at a local hospital as a physical therapist, and then also contracts himself out to see patients at nursing homes in surrounding communities.   That contract work plays an important role in our finances.  Over the summer, he was given a pay cut with the company he did the most contract work for.  Major bummer for us.  So, my hubby, being the resourceful breadwinner he is, began to make other contacts.  Can I just tell you that God has more than provided what he was going to lose!   AMAZING.  God is good!
Just today, we had a gentleman come work on our house.  As we got to talking, I found out that he and his wife have taken in four foster children (to make seven children total - just like us) into their home and are planning on adopting them.   We shared experiences, and he opened up about how difficult it had been.   I was able to encourage him, and I think he found comfort in just knowing someone else had walked in similar shoes.   Before he left, he told me that he felt like God had brought him to our house today to hear what he needed to hear.

Coincidence...?  I think not.   God provided me the opportunity to share what he was doing in our life and encourage another.  He's so good!

I could ramble on with story after story about times just like these that God has provided for us.  But here's the take home message - If you are walking in his will, God WILL provide.  Not sometimes.   Not every now and then.   ALL OF THE TIME.     I shake my head when I realize the crazy faith journey we would have missed if we hadn't said yes to what God had for us four years ago.   All of the ways I would have missed him working, and the joy I would not have experienced.

Maybe it's not adoption God is calling you to...maybe it's something else that feels scary and crazy.  I hope you will find encouragement in this, and not let your fears keep you from saying YES.

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. 

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

There is absolutely nothing to fear about tomorrow; for God is already there.

Psalm 91:4

Back to school & a quick adoption update

Haley - The girl who made me a momma...16 and a junior in high school.   

Hayden - Freshman in high school!!  Love this sweet boy.

Emma - 13 years old, 8th grade.   Spunky and sweet - keeps life fun!

Grace - 2nd grade.   So proud of her progress & kind compassionate heart.

Aleigha is in 1st grade!   Smart and sweet - can't  believe how she's grown!

Solomon - Tender hearted and our most curious child - still home with mom!

Elijah - His way or the high way. :)  Leader through and through!  - 3 1/2

We've started the school year and are off to a good start!   We're enjoying the routine that the school year brings, although I'm always a little sad to see the kids go back to school.   Five of them are off to school every morning and the boys stay home with me.  We keep busy, go to Bible study on Tuesdays, and they go to Grandma and Grandpa Garrison's on Wednesdays (this is SUCH  blessing!). 

On the adoption front, we are waiting for a referral!  Our dossier is in Ethiopia, and we will be matched with one child, either gender, younger than the boys.  We are approved for ages 0-4, but have requested that the child be younger than our boys, who are currently 3 and 3 1/2.   So, who knows!  We get lots of questions from friends about how long we will wait, why wait times are different for different families, etc.  The answer is not simple...it has to do with what agency you are using, how many orphanages they receive referrals from, how many families are waiting with that agency, special needs you are open to, ages requested, etc.  Each adoption journey is so unique, you really can't compare. 

We've (well I've) filled out lots of adoption grant applications...we're hoping this will be the ticket to not have to do as much fund raising.  We anticipate having to do some, and are praying that the adoption tax credit is extended, but really crossing our fingers for some grant money.   Most of them have said they'll let us know by the end of November.  

Other than that, we are keeping busy with the kids, watching Hayden run cross country, church activities, and just every day life.   We are blessed for sure, and anxious to see who God will add to this brood below!  

$8 for our Eighth!

When we decided to go forward with our 3rd adoption process (8th child, 5th adopted child), we knew that the financial part of this would be tough.  We are trusting God to provide what we need to complete what He's called us to.   So, it is with humility  that we are asking you to partner with us to help bring our precious child home from Ethiopia.   


 

Fund raising might be my least favorite part of adoption.....However, because we are excited to bring our child home, and because we cannot cover the expenses alone, and because we have some bigger adoption fees due soon...we come to you with this:

Can you give $8 to help bring our eighth child home??

WE NEED YOU!!!

We are asking that you GIVE $8 towards the cost of bringing our child home.

(We do not yet know who they are.)

AND - THIS IS IMPORTANT - We are asking that you SHARE this blog post with friends, family, on Facebook, and ask others to give and share as well.  

We are so grateful to those of you who are willing to partner with us in this way - We really cannot do it without you!!  We need your help in both giving AND sharing!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Why are we adopting...again??!

• We do it for the glamour.   I want to be just like Angelina Jolie.
• My husband makes a lot of money and we don't know what else to do with it.
• We "really love children."   We don't ever want a moment to ourselves, so we fill our home with more and more children!
• We are trying to punish our older children by making them share everything, and having to sacrifice things like Disney World and the latest technological gadget.
• We enjoy going places and having people question us about the biological relation of our children...which ones are our real children, and which ones are "really" related.  
• We are near perfect parents.  You should really be more like us.
• It makes for great Christmas card photos.
• We really want our own reality show.
• Big vans are SO COOL to drive.   We feel like rock stars in ours!
• We get bored easily.

Of course you can see that this list is a little snarky, and maybe a tad sarcastic.   But for real, these are things people ask us about.  That and, "Haven't you figured out what causes that?"....which makes no sense to us when talking about adoption.   Maybe we should just answer "poverty,disease, death, and loss of family". 

In all honesty, it's not my heart to make light of people's sincere genuine questions about why we would choose to adopt again.   A lot of the time, though, I find myself having difficulty formulating an answer that keeps the conversation light, or even does justice to the weight of the reasons why.   And most of the things I feel like I've already said at some point in my blog anyway.    But for those inquiring minds who still want to know, I'll give you our list - Our real list, the one that reveals our hearts, and we think the heart of God.

• God commands us to.   He doesn't necessarily command everyone to adopt, but he DOES command every believer to play a role in caring for the orphan.   For us, we strongly believe - no, we KNOW - that that means adoption, at least for this season in our lives.   We've surrendered our family to God's will for us, and want him to lead us in what that looks like.  That means letting him decide our family size...not what "makes sense" to us or anyone else.

• There is legitimate need.   Orphan statistics vary, as it is a very difficult thing to put a number on, but estimates range from 133 - 163 MILLION children.    Those children are NOT all adoptable, but the ones who are deserve a home.    The ones who aren't deserve the body of Christ to rise up and be part of providing holistic long-term solutions to the orphan crisis.  ALL of these children deserve to be cared for in some way. 

• We do love being parents.   We never imagined when we said  "I do" 20 years ago that we would have 8 children - NEVER.   (I just hoped I could talk Nathan into more than two!)   We know we are not perfect parents - far from it sometimes - but we do love our children, and strive to do what is right by them...to love them, teach them, provide security, encouragement, and tell them of God's great love for us.   Being parents is the single greatest privilege we have on this earth.  We do not take it lightly, and know that our children are among our greatest blessings.   We know that our 8th child will also be a blessing, just as the first seven are.

• We never adopted because of what it could teach our 'at home' children, but the lessons and conversations that have come from it are invaluable.   We have watched our older children mature, experience God's provision, and grow in their faith in ways they never would have if we hadn't stepped out to adopt.  We have all had to learn to sacrifice more, wait our turn, and put others first. 

• There is a little one half way around the world with no family to call their own.   They are living in an orphanage with many other children...no mommy and daddy to tuck them in, to teach them about Jesus, to kiss their boo boos, or wipe their tears.   If our decision to adopt - no matter how crazy it may seem - changes the life of that little one...isn't it worth it??  We think so.

Our BIG news!!

Yep - you guessed it!

The Garrison family is growing again!!

 We are so excited to tell you that the Garrisons are adopting from Ethiopia again!!   We are just as excited about our eighth child as we were the first!

We have come to this decision through much consideration, discussion, and prayer.   When there are 9 people in a family already, there is a lot to sort through and think about.    When we first started talking about this several weeks ago, I will admit I had many reservations.   Was this the responsible thing to do?   Should we stretch ourselves (in every way) even more?    It was overwhelming to sort through all of the concerns we needed to consider.    I wrestled through many conversations with God, and finally wrote out a list for Him of why I thought, just possibly, He had the wrong family for this gig. After my "reasons", you can see the responses I found as I took them to scripture.  It went a little something like this:

• We already have seven children.  Maybe it's just too much.   Maybe I can't handle it.

          "I am still not all I should be, but am focusing my energies on this one thing:   Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.  I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus is calling us up to heaven."  Phil. 3:13

"For I can do everything with the help of  CHRIST who gives me the strength I need."

Phil. 4:13

• Most of the time I do not feel like an adequate mother to the children I have. 

"Your heavenly father already knows all of your needs and will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the kingdom of God your primary concern."

Matthew 6:  32-33

"Do not be afraid,  for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.   I will strengthen you.  I will help you.   I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."

 Isaiah 41:10

• I am getting too old for this.  :)

 (This is all relative, and I certainly know I'm not elderly, but I am older than I thought I would be when I was adding children to our family!)

I was reminded of Abraham (Genesis 21), who waited for his long awaited Isaac to come at a very old age.  (But I hope I won't be doing this when I am 100)

 

"Even in old age they will still produce fruit...they will remain vital and green."

Psalm 92:14

• Finances.

In 1 Kings 17, Elijah asks a widow to share her water and bread.   She has no extra, but she shares anyway and God provides abundantly and continually...all from one act of obedience.

 

"So, I tell you, do not worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food, drink, or clothes...."

Matthew 6:25

"So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?'  These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs."

Matthew 6: 31-32

Do you notice anything about all of these reasons?   Do you notice that they are all about ME?   I've focused on what is comfortable for ME, what's easier for ME.   Hmm.....didn't find many verses telling me to put my concerns first, or to take the easy road.   But, I did find these verses:

"The LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."

Micah 6:8

"Children are a gift from the Lord,   they are a reward from Him."

Psalm 127:3

And so, if I'm honest, I wrestled with all of this.   I wrestled with complete surrender.    I stood in church one Sunday singing these words...

So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned,

In awe of the One who gave it all.

So I'll stand my soul Lord to YOU surrendered,

All I am is YOURS.

 

...and I wondered if I really meant them...?   And so, my friends, I've given it all to Him.   All of the fear.   All of the anxiousness (not that it doesn't creep back in and I have to give it over again).   All of my selfishness that doesn't want to do the paperwork or other hard parts of adoption.   All of my pride that REALLY doesn't want to fund raise again.    My concerns over my at-home children.   It's all HIS.

 

So...that leaves me in THIS place...this place of expecting....this place of excitement about what God is going to do in our family....this place of anticipating the gift of another child!   Once I got myself out of the way, I was able to focus on the blessing of adding to our family, and we can't wait for that part!

We've prayed through birth order and decided it is best for our children at home to bring a child home that is younger than the boys, and preserve the birth order.   So, we are requesting a referral for a child younger than they are. (Solomon turns 3 this week).

 

Please pray for us...for all to go smoothly, for God's provision for our adoption, and for our child in Ethiopia and their birth parents. 

Here we go again!!!

 

 

Reflections of a Year

This is our first family picture about a week after we were all home together last February. We were on our way to church as a family of nine for the first time. As I look back at that, I remember the challenges of not being able to understand one another and the exhaustion...and yes, of course the relief of all being home together.

365 days have passed since our newest three joined our forever family...never to be taken back to an orphanage, and never to go to bed without a family. We've marveled at God's goodness this year as we reflect back on how He has made us a family, and the work He's done in our lives.

Has it been worth it? YES. A million times yes...

Has it been hard? Absolutely.

I think back to where we were a year ago and can hardly believe these are the same children, or that we are the same family. Except I know that we aren't the same family. We are so very different now...woven together in a way only God could have designed.

Overall, our adjustment into a family of nine has been a good one. We haven't had any of the 'major adoption issues' you may read about...no RAD, no serious attachment or behavior problems, and no one emotionally falling apart. We've counted our blessings many times for this, as we have watched other families struggle, and had done our homework on the possible challenges that come with older child adoption. So, before I acknowledge any hard things about the last year, I must first clearly state and give thanks for the good things.

April 2011

That being said...it is GOOD to be on this side of the first year. While it was good, it wasn't easy. Adjusting to three new people in a family - that don't speak English and have suffered much loss - isn't easy. Managing the needs of new kids while not overlooking the needs of the four that have been there isn't easy. Most of the time it left me questioning my parenting skills and feeling like not enough for anyone. I wasn't sleeping well and making all kinds of crazy mistakes. The gajillions of doctor appointments, blood draws, stool samples, and prescriptions don't exactly fit into the glamorous fairy tale notion some people have of adoption. This for me, at least in the first few months, was among one of the most wearing things to deal with.

I look back and laugh (and sometimes want to cry) at how difficult it was to communicate. We were blessed with sweet, sweet kids...their dispositions are so sweet and easy...but there is only so much you can communicate with hand gestures and charades. I knew there were hurts in their hearts and most likely confusion, and there was absolutely no way to get to those. You just function through the day to day routine and hold on until language is good enough that you CAN communicate. I have to wonder what in the world they thought was going on. I would point, talk loud, use simple words, and demonstrate all day long. They had to wonder what the crazy white lady was doing more than once.

And if adoptive parents are honest, they will tell you that attachment work is exhausting. It's hard work to nurture broken children, have them close nearly all the time, and learn to function as family when you've come together as literal strangers. Attachment doesn't happen overnight. It's a labor of love and will come more easily with some children than others. I often had guilt over the fact that it seemed easier to bond with one child over another, but it's just the way it is....Children are people with their own distinct personalities, habits, and hurts that they bring to the table. Just as we don't "click" with everyone we meet the same way, it is the same for children...adopted or not. Attaching with three children at once poses a whole other challenge, and I've found that you must learn to extend grace to both yourself and your children as you find your way. We are still doing the attachment dance with all of our children, but praise God, can say that all of those relationships are developing as they should and all are headed in the right direction. We trust God to begin this good work He's started in us and continue to bond us as family.

A year later, things certainly feel more natural and relaxed around here. This just feels like 'who we are'. (I often forget why people might be staring when we're all at Target together...WHAT?? I have 7 kids and 4 of them don't look like me. What's the big deal?) We have our routines and routine is good. The kids have picked up language really well, and while we still definitely have our misunderstandings (and constant vocab lessons), communication is pretty good, which helps tremendously with bonding. Everyone is more comfortable around here, and I am sleeping through the night. Only after I began sleeping well again (probably last fall) did I realize how the stress was affecting my rest.

Grace and Aleigha are both in school, and we marvel at what they have learned. From non-English speakers to readers in a year is pretty amazing, we think. Grace is in first grade, and Aleigha is in Kindergarten. Grace obviously has the hardest job of skipping ahead to first grade without any prior schooling, but her age and development demand that she be there. She's a hard worker, loves to learn, and has a great attitude. We were blessed with both of the girls' incredible teachers, and are so proud of the progress they are both making. Solomon (our own little Curious George) has done well as well...talking our ear off and into anything imaginable. He's a sweet spirited little guy with a contagious smile and infectious laugh.

November 2011

I could not talk about this last year without telling you how incredibly proud I am of my 3 big kids. I struggle to find adequate words to express how amazing they've been through all of this. Can you imagine how their life has changed? How they've had to share everything in their life...their home, their parents...everything. I have marveled at how they've done it and have to be honest that I don't think I would have done as well at their age. They have accepted their new siblings and all of the changes so graciously. God has given them each a heart for missions and orphans, and I can't wait to see what they do with that. I know that this is all His doing in their lives.

I love my husband even more now after almost 20 years of marriage and experiencing all of this together. He's been my rock, my cheerleader, our very hard working provider, and a great father to all of the kids. I certainly loved and respected him before, but seeing him love these once fatherless children has made me love and respect him on a whole new level. Real Jesus-loving men step up for the fatherless. We are all so lucky to have him.



I've learned much about myself...not all of it good, but I'm being refined for sure. This is both the most difficult and most rewarding parenting season I've ever been in. Sometimes the refining is a little painful, but I know I will come out better for it on the other side. My life has been enriched through this experience and these new relationships in my life. Both the lessons and the blessings to be had are many.

God has proven Himself faithful time and time again. He never ceases to amaze me. He has provided in many ways and given us the privilege of raising these beautiful children. People often ask us how we do it, and the truth is, we don't. He does. He has blessed us with this family and continues to bless us and provide for us at every turn. It is HE who deserves any glory this story deserves. We are simply grateful that He chose us to be a part.

December 2011

"O LORD, I will honor and praise your name, for you are my God. You do such wonderful things! You planned them long ago, and now you have accomplished them."
Isaiah 25:1

What we've been up to...In pictures!

The girls have been working hard this summer to get ready for school!

Haley and Elijah ready to board the carousel!

Hayden at STL zoo.

The boys at the pool.

Sweet Emma.

Elijah is looking so old! What's up with that?

Solomon climbing the slide!

Grace got a doll for her birthday!

We tried our hand at straightening hair, just for fun!

The boys insisted on tutus one afternoon...I'm pretty sure their dad is over these kind of pictures...but, hey..they asked for it!

I especially love it with the 'Dude' t-shirt!

It's Easier to Just Bring the Cupcakes....

Lately, my life seems to be a comedy of errors...I only wish I thought it was funny. Some days I'm pretty sure I'm losing it and I may never 'have it together' again. Today might be one of those days. Let me tell you about my last week or week and a half...

First off, I misplaced (OK...lost) a sizeable check. A check to a local ministry that I have a heart for...and I felt sick. It was replaced, with the promise that if anyone finds the first check it would be torn up. So...everyone makes mistakes, right?

Secondly, after a meeting at our church last week (for our church's orphan care/adoption ministry), I may or may not have been part of setting off the church alarm. My first instinct was to run (that would have made for a good story!)...my second was to call one of our church's pastors who lives nearby -but no answer. I decided to text our senior pastor, he told me how to turn the alarm off after giving me a hard time. We shut it off , waited for a few minutes in case the police showed up, and then I headed home. On my way home, he texted back to tell me I needed to return to the building to turn the alarm back on...so, of course, I did. And guess what? Yep. The police were there. The policeman was walking the perimeter of the building looking for the 'suspect' (I guess that's me), and so I explained to him what happened. He was very nice, went on his way, and I proceeded to go inside and turn the alarm back on. Crisis averted.

Fast forward a few days and I'm at our church's indoor playground with my kids, except my oldest, Haley, is at home. She texts me asking if she can make some lemonade slushy while I'm gone. Of course I respond that she can, and go on to play with my kids. When I check my phone again, I see that I've received a text from Don (the first pastor I tried to call the night of my church break in) that reads something like, "No, it's not frozen yet. It takes about 30 minutes." HUH? I think to myself, "This is either for someone else, or he's losing it." Turns out, the person losing it is ME. Somehow, Haley's text to ME was forwarded to HIM...and he gets a text thinking that I am asking him to make a slushy. Who's losing it now???! (He hasn't admitted it, but I'm pretty sure he's going to be watching me very closely now). I mean how weird is it for a grown woman to text a man she hardly ever texts with to ask permission to make a drink?? Loco.

The next incident isn't so funny...today, my kids and I were in a minor car accident. Minor in that no one was hurt - only our vehicles. But the accident was my fault. I looked down for what seemed to me like a millisecond and cars were stopping in front of me...I braked and swerved, but could not miss the car in front of me. At the time, I felt calm and focused...checked on the driver in the other car, called 911, kept my kids out of traffic and eventually to the side of the road. I was so blessed to have two friends witness the accident and stop to give us rides home...you know it takes two "normal" vehicles to transport our family. I was fine until I got inside my home...and I lost it. I'm talking the uncontrollable ugly cry. What just happened? What could have just happened? What kind of mom am I that I wasn't paying enough attention and could have caused my children harm??

If you read my last post, you heard me be transparent about some of the challenges of adjusting to being a family of nine, and some of the inadequacies I've felt. These mistakes - funny or not - pile guilt on top of guilt and leave me feeling ill equipped to do a good job in my role of mom. I mean, am I really losing it? Forgetting and losing things, not to mention breaking into the church, and now running into stopped cars? I've never thought I was a candidate for 'mom of the year', but I used to feel like I could hold it all together...these days, it's all being held together by a tattered string and I'm holding on as tight as I can.

After the accident I was blubbering (and I mean that in the most literal sense - sobbing) to my friend Kim about how inadequate I've felt lately...how exhausted I am...and how I just want to have it together again for my family. I rambled through many scenarios and examples, and also began to tell her about school registration for Grace and Aleigha and the parent sign up sheets that were out for this or that. I shared that I could have cried at the thought of putting my name down and signing up for one more thing...I just couldn't. But then, of course, I felt like a disappointment because I wasn't doing those things. I mean, I'm the mom who is at home and can do all of those things, right? Shouldn't I be? She very clearly said, "Let another mom do that...one who has less on their plate. Others haven't signed up for what you have in having 7 kids and newly adjusting to bringing 3 home five months ago...Let them bring the cupcakes this time." Through my tears, and half laughing, I responded, "But it's easier to just bring the cupcakes!" We both burst out laughing...

It's true. It's easier to just bring the cupcakes than to sign up for what we have. I'm not looking for sympathy here...although I am needing a little grace at times. Grace for friends who haven't been called in a while, my family members I informed of a dance recital at the last minute,and a husband who doesn't get as much of me a what he needs. Someday I suppose I'll look back at all of this with a different perspective. Right now, it's hard to see.

Earlier I was talking to my oldest daughter and telling her than I knew I wasn't always on my A game lately...and I apologized to her if there were times I had let her down. Her response (in as dry of a tone you can imagine): "And when was that, Mom? Stop making stuff up." Another moment of laughter...it does help put things in perspective. I guess they are maybe going to all survive my parenting after all.

So, here's my new slogan: It's easier to just bring the cupcakes!

God apparently thought I could handle more than a few dozen cupcakes. I have days of wondering if he was right....but as I tell my kids, he doesn't make mistakes.

Easy and Hard

We have been a family of nine for 5 months now. For the 3 or 4 of you who still check this blog, you've probably noticed that I've been relatively silent. Some of that is because of sheer busyness, and some of it is intentional. Let me explain....

We have had what in the adoption world would be seen as a relatively 'easy' time with adjustment since our three new ones came home. They are adjusting better than we expected and we don't have any major issues....no uncontrollable crying, no night terrors or sleeping problems, no major food issues, and no serious acting out from any of them. They are learning English well and the little girls have learned much in preparation for school. I was prepared for much harder, and we have been pleasantly surprised. So, for those adoptive parents who've read every book, you know that our journey would be considered 'easy'.

But I'm here to be honest today. While things are going well, this isn't easy. It's just not. Adding three people to your family at once with their own histories, personalities, and habits isn't easy. Inviting their grief and loss into your home isn't easy. Having seven kids isn't easy. Trying to be enough for everyone in your family isn't easy. Most of the time it leaves me feeling as though I'm not enough for anyone.

Add in the dynamics of relationships - new and old - in a family of nine, 5 billion doctor appointments, a slight bit of panic (from mom only) about being sure the girls are learning everything they need to, and the constant nagging feeling that someone isn't getting what they need....and what you get is one exhausted mama. That would be me.

We have lots of good days, and I haven't blogged more about the hard because I want to honor my children. I don't want anyone making inaccurate assumptions about how we feel about them, or that we've bitten off more than we could chew. We love our children and are so glad they are here. But, the very desire to do better for them out of my love for them makes it harder...I want to be a good mother to them. I want to honor God in what he's asked me to do.

Good thing God's grace is bigger than my mind can imagine...and his love for me is true - not the lies of unworthiness I struggle with on hard days. He is bigger, and he is good. And today, I'm thanking him for both the easy AND the hard...and trusting him through it all. I'm choosing to believe that he can use it all for my good.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Don't Believe It

Hunger and Drought in the Horn of Africa

Ethiopia Drought

The drought in East Africa is said to be the worst in 60 years. Cattle and livestock are dying, and their crops are not growing. This is how they feed their family. Can you imagine? I mean, really imagine? I know you have seen the images before - the starving babies and the desperate mothers - but have ever really stopped to think about what it would be like to be in their shoes...? To be hungry, thirsty, sick, and even dying and have no way to help yourself? To watch your children suffer?? To watch your children die?

This is more than a news article or a sad story...these people are real. In fact, I have 3 of my own children who are from the very region this drought is affecting. I look at them and think that only a year ago, this drought would be affecting their lives, their family, and their health. They still have some family members there...I pray for them, and for others as I know they are suffering this very moment. I no longer look at children in the pictures and feel like they are distant images. I have held them, kissed them, loved them, and tucked them in bed at night. I can feed my children a snack or get them a cup of clean water whenever I want. I do not struggle to provide food or nourishment to my children, and I have never felt that heartache.

It is easy to believe that there is nothing we can do, or that our contribution can ever make much of a difference. It's easy to dismiss the headline as something horrible that's happening far away, and not look at it as an opportunity to be part of helping the situation. This what I'm asking of you:

Don't believe it.
Don't believe the lie that you can't make a difference.

You CAN make a difference...if each one of us gives what we can, it matters. Find a reputable organization working in eastern Africa and partner with them to bring aid to the suffering. (and if you know of an organization doing good, honest work, please let us all know in the comments).

Here are a few options:

- World Vision
- Samaritan's Purse - Call 800-528-1980 to donate and tell them exactly where you want the money to go.
- Children's Hopechest - Just make a note that it is for east African drought

The bottom line is this: Jesus cares about these precious people, and wants us to, too. We are his hands and feet...and it's time to take action. Heaven knows we would want someone to act if we were in their shoes.

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Matthew 25:40

So Glad They Are Mine

It sounds so cliche' to say over and over again how blessed I am, but I am at a loss for any other way to say it. This Mother's Day, much is on my mind. We spent a great day today at church, and then driving to Indianapolis to eat Ethiopian food and go to the zoo. It was a great day, and I truly enjoyed being with my family. More than once I looked at my children and was in awe of the way God has blessed my life. Is there any life greater than this? I'd argue there is not. Once again...I'm so, so glad I didn't miss it...

Haley, 15

My sweet, reserved girl. Haley is responsible and mature beyond her years, and a natural caregiver. She's my right hand and the gift who first made me a mother.

Hayden, 14
My tender-hearted boy....loves Jesus and cares about others. As a young boy he would invite his neighbor friends into our home to hear the 'Jesus story'. Can't wait to see what God does in his life.

Emma, almost 12
So proud of the young lady she is becoming. She adds life to our family and joy to our home...navigating middle school with integrity and becoming more and more comfortable in her skin. Her heart for those suffering is unmatched.

Grace, 6
I am humbled when I think of the loss and change this sweet girl has endured...and done so with such grace (no pun intended:). My outgoing, fun-loving girl. We are beyond blessed to have her in our lives.

Aleigha, 5
Beautiful smile, precious heart...this one will steal your heart. Her laugh is contagious....she is more shy than her sister, but beautiful through and through.

Elijah,2
Light of my world, spunk of my day...he keeps things interesting for sure. He is a natural encourager and cheers us on in whatever we are doing (He stood at the door cheering Hayden while he mowed the lawn yesterday!). Watch out world, he's gonna be in charge of something!

Solomon, almost 2
This darling boy captures my heart a little more every day. He loves to smile and laugh and cuddle and sing. He (and his brother) insist on me singing 'Jesus Loves Me' to them at every nap/bed time and he does his best to sing along. I heart him.

Do you see it..? Do you see how blessed I am? Honestly, I can hardly get over it myself. God is good and his plan is always better. I could have missed it all so easily...I get teary at the thought. By birth or by adoption; it doesn't matter how they came...they are among my greatest blessings.

What have we been up to...?

Whew....time sure can get away from you, and before you know it, it's been weeks since you've updated the blog! Below are a few pictures of what we've been up to, so I thought I'd share those....you'll notice that my big kids are not represented below - that's for a couple of reasons...first off, they are at school during the day when many of these are taken...and second, they've gotten pretty good at avoiding the camera lens. :)

Do you see anything wrong with this picture...?

We've been working with the girls on recognizing and writing letters, and writing their names. We're so proud of what they've learned so far!

Grace gives her name a try, too! Good job, girls!

Solomon cracks us up - he loves this bicycle helmet! When we go outside he often insists on wearing it. It's not standard procedure around here to wear helmets for a stroller ride, but I thought this was pretty cute!

We're wishing for warmer weather...Grace tries on her swim suit!

One day over spring break, the older girls got bored and decided to give their little brothers a make over...I know there is something not quite right about this, but they're still pretty cute!

Solomon tries on Daddy's shoes...he was so proud.

The girls got new bikes and LOVE to ride them!

Grace asks to go outside to ride several times a day.

So, that's us...busy AND blessed!

Brave

When I look at my children's faces, it is hard for me to imagine all they have been through...all they have lost...all they have seen in their short lives. When I think of the changes they've endured, I can hardly imagine enduring them myself. Loss of family, loss of relationship, loss of security, of language, culture, custom, and all that is familiar. Can you imagine? I honestly can't.


These sweet babies have not only endured, but handled it all so well. They are learning their third language (they spoke another language at home before being transferred to the Transition Home where they spoke Amharic). They were brought home by virtual strangers they had only seen pictures of before. They were taken to new places, had new experiences, were given new foods and brought home to a place where everything was foreign. Literally.

During all of these transitions, they have been so brave. I have no doubt that they have been afraid at times - especially at first. I have no doubt they have wondered what is going on at times as they adjust to our new routines. But they have done so well. I almost can't believe it. No, every day is not a fairy tale, and sure, we have our challenges. I'm sure hard days will come and questions will be asked. I'm not living in a dream world over here. However, given all that has happened in these kids' lives in the last year, I am so proud of how they've coped. So proud of how they have handled the change.


God is good. I am thankful every day that he continues to do the work of making us a family. Please continue to pray for our kids as they transition and adjust, and pray that God will strengthen relationships and bonds with them. I am inspired by their bravery, and in awe of our God who is responsible for it all.

"LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done wonderful things,
things planned long ago."

Isaiah 25:1