Referralversary, DCFS and Passports...

It's been one year since we saw this face....

One year ago we received our referral call for Elijah and saw his precious face for this first time....I know I'm a little biased, but is this not the cutest referral picture you've ever seen...?!

I remember that I had picked Hayden up from basketball camp, fed my kids' lunch, and we were on our way to do some volunteer work when my phone rang. I had prepared myself that our 'call' would not come until August, so I was surprised when I saw the 703 area code on my caller ID. It was Terra, our family coordinator, calling with our referral!! I could hardly think I was so surprised as I fumbled my way to the computer, and we tried to conference call Nathan into the call. We couldn't get ahold of him, so she emailed the pictures and gave us his information. Nathan looked from work and we looked from home.....I couldn't believe that the day had come or how beautiful he was! What a blessing! Happy Referralversary, Elijah!!

In other news, our homestudy was approved by DCFS this week!! This is GREAT news! We've sent our homestudy on to the next step at USCIS (immigration). There was some confusion in the midst of changes at USCIS as to where to send it to, so I'm crossing my fingers that we got it right. Now we use this time to finish our dossier documents and wait for our I171-H. When all those things are in place, our paperwork can go to Ethiopia and we can be placed on the waiting list!! No telling how long all that will take, but we are hoping for the inside of 6 weeks. (!!)

Our kids' passports also came in the mail this week....the big 3 anyway. They requested one more document in order to process Elijah's passport, but it didn't sound like a big deal. We are planning on taking all of our kids on our first trip to Ethiopia, and that won't be for a while, so we have some time to spare on that.

All of this = progress. And progress is a good thing!

What a difference a day makes!

So, yesterday I posted and shared that things were kind of at a standstill with our homestudy approval and we had not received an adoption grant we had applied for. I was more bummed than I probably really should have been, but it was discouraging. (both for DCFS to delay our homestudy approval and to not receive the grant). Last night I felt myself feeling disappointed and telling God that I really just needed to see Him in all of this. If this is where He was leading, I would follow, but I needed to somehow see Him in the midst of the process, and help me to know this adoption was in fact His idea. I was not praying for Him to reverse anything that had happened, (nor did I expect that) I just needed a little glimmer of hope and some reassurance that we were where He wanted us.

Well, today He all but undid all that happened yesterday!! First, I received an email from our social worker this morning that they had received word that DCFS would be approving homestudies from our agency and that our homestudy should be processed soon!! Yay! Hopefully we will get our approval in the next week or so and can move on to ....well, more waiting, but this time for USCIS to approve our homestudy and send us our I171-H.

Then, this afternoon, Lifesong for Orphans called and said that they do have grant money for us after all!! Totally unexpected! At first I thought they had made a mistake because of the call we had received the day before. Apparently, they had an unexpected donor and were able to offer us a grant! We are SO grateful!!

It's amazing the difference a day makes...and even more amazing that I have a God who shows up when I need Him to. Who cares about the desires of my heart, but more importantly cares about the fatherless and will rise up on their behalf. I am in awe and humbled to watch Him work.

Thank you for those of you who have offered encouragement when the road gets tough, and pray on behalf of our family and our children in Ethiopia. We will never be able to thank you enough.

I will thank you, Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.

I will be filled with joy because of you.

I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

Psalm 9:1,2

Homestudy Approval and Grants....or lack there of

Well, not a whole lot new on the adoption front.....we are STILL waiting on Illinois DCFS to approve our homestudy....they've had it since April 13. We live in one of the only states (if not THE only state) which requires DCFS to look over an international adoptive family's homestudy and approve it before it can go on to USCIS (immigration). DCFS informed our agency this week that they will not be approving our homestudy until their (the agency's) license is successfully renewed in July. AHHHH!! Frustrating to say the least.....we had really anticipated having this approval by mid May. There is no anticipated problem with our agency's license, which adds to the frustration. So, we are just hoping that this agency license will be granted quickly and our homestudy will be approved shortly after that.

In other news, we were disappointed to find out we will not be receiving a grant from Lifesong for Orphans. We had kind of hoped that because we are adopting 2 children and they were children number 5 and 6 for us, that we might be chosen for a matching grant. Bummer for us.
So, we trudge onward with our fundraising.....and hope that our family and friends don't get sick of us. :)

We do have an exciting raffle coming soon.....check back for details!!

No Judgement Attached....

This is another hard, but honest, post. I was told this week by someone I love that Nathan and I and our choices may be making others feel inferior. While this was presented graciously, it cut to the quick. You see, the very last thing I want others to see or feel in our journey is that we think we are superior or are judgemental of anyone else and their journeys.

The idea came from my last post and my reflecting on my own selfishness and struggle to embrace a life that would require me to give up some things in order to adopt two children. It was gently pointed out to me that if I am reflecting on these things, others may relate to my thoughts on myself and apply them to themselves. For example, if we are choosing to adopt children and forgo some of our dining out or vacations, then what about others who make the choice to do these things (eat out, vacation, etc.) and don't adopt children?

I want to be clear about something and I hope you will hear my heart on this: We are not concerned with what others are or are not doing. We hope that you (or anyone else) will never look at our lives and think we think 'we are so good' or that others are inferior. Boy, that was hard to even write. We have been blessed (and challenged) to be put on this path of adoption, but we are not better than anyone because we are on it. This is God's doing and not our own. My flaws are many - too many to list - and I am just grateful that God will still use me despite of them.

We know that we are on the path that God has for our family - we are in agreement and we have peace about it. I will be honest though - this is hard. It's hard to think that other's might feel negatively about what we are doing. It's hard to choose something for your family that is 'out of the norm'. It's hard to feel like others might judge you about the decisions you are making. It's hard to think about making sacrifices.


Here's the truth - I am responsible for doing what I know God is asking me to do, and I hope that I will do it with grace so that others never feel in some way condemned or judged by me in the process. You are responsible for your own journey.
I was reminded of this passage of scripture earlier this week by a good friend (unrelated to the conversation I mentioned above, but very appropriate):

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"

"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

Again Jesus said, "Simon, son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

The third time he said to him, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?"

He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old someone will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."

Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.

Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them......

When Peter saw him, he asked,
"Lord, what about him?"

Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?

You must follow me."

John 21:15-22

You see, Jesus wanted Peter to worry about his own journey....not John's or anyone else's. The same is true for me - He wants me to worry about my journey. Yours is between you and Him.

Nathan and I will make decisions for our family, and yes, advocate for orphans....it is our heart.

But we do so with no judgement attached. Each one can read, pray, and decide for themselves what God has for them. They certainly don't need me in my own imperfection to do it for them.

Wrestling

Lately I've been wrestling a bit with God....not because we disagree (how can you disagree with God??:), but because I am trying to make sense of things. Over the past week or so, Nathan and I have been in prayer and discussion about our 'request' for a child in our second adoption. (BTW - I completely and totally hate to refer to it as a request...we are not shopping for a child, but we are trying to discern what direction God wants us to go). Let me explain.....

When we started our homestudy this time around, we agreed to ask for an approval that was wide open. So, we got approved for 1-2 children instead of just 1. At the time we completely felt like it was a wise thing to do because you just never know in international adoption, and if our referral showed up with a sibling or something, we wanted to be prepared. We (I) really didn't have any intention of bringing two children home.

Fast forward to the past week or so and I can tell you we are in a completely different place with this. Apparently, after having some discussion, Nathan was under the impression that we were open to two children once we submitted our homestudy that way. I just thought we were being open just in case. When I found out this is what Nathan was open to, I was a bit taken a back. My initial reaction was to feel overwhelmed.....six kids?? Am I on candid camera? You must be kidding me.

So, for the next several days, I prayed - a lot. And I proceeded to tell God all of the reasons that this doesn't make sense and that I wasn't sure I wanted to be the "crazy adoption lady" with six kids. I mean, those people are weird, right??

So, in the interest of transparency, I will share with you some of my really super-duper great reasons for not adopting two more for a total of six: (don't judge me....I'm just being honest!)

• Like I said, I don't want to be the weird adoption lady. I mean, I think I'm pretty normal. :))
• How will we afford the additional adoption expenses (since we don't really know how we are affording them for one!)
• Grocery bills for a family of eight.
• I want to be able to go on vacation once in a while.
• I like to eat out.
• Do these kids expect to go to college??
• No one will ever invite us over for dinner again.
• WHAT WILL WE DRIVE?
• Will I have to give up my own involvement in ministries I love in order to parent these children well?
• Will I have time to be myself when so many others need me?
• And again....How will we afford all of this and what will we drive?? :)

Super-duper great reasons, right?

None of these reasons seems good enough to allow a child to stay in an orphanage and wait for a family.....so I can go on vacation? so I can eat out? because I may have to give a few things up? I'm pretty sure God does not want me to leave a child behind because they don't fit in my van.

Let me tell you, I have wrestled with these things. Not because I don't want two more and not because I don't want six kids....I actually do. I am actually humbled that our God would entrust me with six precious lives. I am in awe of that.

But, I am selfish. I like to be in control. I never imagined this is what my life would look like. I never thought we would be a family of eight. I don't want to give things up - new clothes, meals out, taking trips, entertainment, and other pleasurable activies. And, I'll be honest - I may have to give some of it up to do adopt one, let alone two. Why do I say that I know this life is not about me, and then live it as if it is?

So, I have prayed. I have talked to other adoptive moms. And I have examined God's heart. I cannot claim to know exactly what God has for us, but I will tell you that God has placed a genuine excitement in me at the thought of adopting two. No, not an emotional response, but a feeling that my heart is in line with His. So, we will move forward with our adoption and wait with anticipation to see His plan unfold. Because here is what I know for sure....our first adoption didn't make any sense (from the world's perspective). Our kids were bigger, I was still teaching, and we really couldn't afford it (so we thought). But through it God was faithful, He provided what we needed and He brought us our sweet Elijah. What if I had missed it.....? What if I had missed it because of my fears and selfishness??

I hear Him whispering....."Do you trust me? do you really trust me? This is not too big for me."

Of course it isn't - I do trust Him and I am excited about this journey He has us on.....one thing I've learned so far - His ways and His plans are always better..... so bring it on!

Haley Morgan

On Monday (April 26) we celebrated Haley's 14th birthday! My mind cannot comprehend that 14 years have gone so quickly and we feel so blessed to have such a wonderful daughter!

Haley is our oldest child and much like her dad in many ways....she looks like him, and sometimes even acts like him. :) (when she is ornery or has a dry sense of humor!) She is probably the most reserved of our children, but what she has to say is worth listening to. She is mature and wise for her years and I would venture to say more responsible than any other 14 year old you could find. We try to make an effort not to take advantage of her because you can entrust her with much, but I have to admit it's sometimes tempting!

Her talents are many....she is a bright girl and school comes easily. She is creative and loves to bake (actually wants to sell cupcakes as a fundraiser for our adoption!), cook, make cards, and do crafts. She is a pianist and also takes tennis, both of which she enjoys.

What I have always admired most about Haley is that she is who she is. She is fine to be with a group of people, and fine to be by herself. She is not easily swayed by others and is true to herself. She makes good decisions and doesn't change for those around her. (I am thinking this is going to be a great teenage skill!) Haley knows who she is and what she believes, and while she may not be overly vocal about it, her actions speak louder than words.

Happy Birthday, Haley! We love you!

IT'S NOT ABOUT ME

Has it really been 2 1/2 weeks since I last posted?? Where does the time go? (well, I could give you a list, but it wouldn't be all that exciting or probably even a lot different from your list....so, I'll skip it and assume you can relate!)

I have formulated a post in my mind several times...or at least thought about writing it, but I never get around to it. Yes, part of it is time, but part of the reason why is because I'm not quite sure how transparent I want to be...

There is no better way to learn many of life's lessons than to experience the journey of adoption. I have wrestled with not having control over the situations and timing and all of the unknowns. I love a plan, love to know how things are going to play out, and am not the greatest 'waiter' you've ever met. I like to get things done, and do not love sitting around waiting for things to happen. Well, guess what? Adoption requires much of all of that!

But there is another area of struggle....another area not quite so easy to admit. It's ugly and the very nature of this struggle urges me to keep it quiet and pretend it doesn't exist. Wonder what I'm reffering to? PRIDE. Why is that so difficult to admit? Because my pride wants me to smooth it over and act as if I have it all together....

I have always been an independent person....and when I'm not, well, I usually pretend to be anyway. I'm not pretending on purpose, as if to 'lie' to people. I just have always felt like I needed to be self sufficient and do for myself. I'm the 'helper', not the 'helpee'. The role I am comfortable in is taking care of myself and my family, helping others when I can, and being the doer. I am uncomfortable having others do for me or give to me. From as far back as I can remember, I wanted to be independent. I fought against my parents for independence from a young age, and now that I'm older I have no idea why. I certainly didn't have a family situation where that was necessary - it was just the way I was wired, I guess.

Well, here's the hard part. We can't do this adoption thing alone. We are going to have to have help. We are holding fundraisers, applying for grants, and will most likely send a letter to family and friends asking them to partner with us in this adoption. We did all this the first time, and I swallowed my pride and did it because it was necessary and it wasn't for me - it was to bring our child home.

So, here we are, in the same situation, with the desire to adopt, and unable to finance the entire thing ourselves. We've already asked for help once.....really, God, do we need to do it again? I mean, didn't I learn my lesson by doing this once? Isn't that enough?? Surely, there's another answer this time. The independent (aka proud) part of me wants to run from this....I don't want to ask people to come to one more event, buy one more thing, or give one more donation. I just want it to be done.

But, here's the thing: IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. Apparently, I didn't learn this as completely as I thought I did. I want to have learned it well, but still I struggle. My husband seems to have such a good grasp on this. He does not wrestle with 'what other people will think'. (Really, it's true....remarkable, really.) He gets that this isn't about us and does not hesitate to ask people to partner with us. In fact, here's what he has to say about this issue:
(taken directly from his Facebook - commenting on adoption and the expense)
The way I see it is, I was bought at a price, we were all bought at a price, even though we were/are undeserving. It may/will cost us all something in terms of time, money, having to humble ourselves to ask for money, but it will all be worth it.
Store up your treasures in heaven and when/if you have to ask others for help consider it a chance to allow them to do what they should do/be doing anyway. When we ask and give others the opportunity to do something to help us bring our children home we are giving them a chance to care for the least of these and to take care of orphans. When we answer his call sometimes we pay a price. We will all be dead in 40-50 years but the inconviences that we go through now will have Godly repurcussions for many generations.
I look forward to all of our children coming home to our families and I also look forward to other people doing what we have done when we have led and shown them a good example. Despite the hardships we face, we will be blessed and our children will be blessed. God will not turn his face from us.
(Don't you love him??)

So, I continue this journey, remembering that God has called us to it and it's about what He wants to do through us and the child He wants to bring into our family. I get emotional thinking that He might bless me with yet another child and am beyond grateful for that. Teach me, Lord, what you want me to learn. Even when it's hard.

How Goes It?

Our adoption process is coming along (I guess?) as we expected. Since our hard news in February about not being able to proceed with the adoption of a certain little girl, it has slowed a bit....or at least it feels like it. Our agency has told us that we should expect to wait until August (once we've been home with Elijah for a year) to submit our dossier. We may ask for an exception, but we aren't expecting it to be granted. I guess we're not really in a hurry for anything, anyway.

We are patiently(?) waiting to receive our appointment from immigration to go to Indy and have our fingerprints taken. We have had all of our homestudy appointments and are waiting for the homestudy to be completed. In the meantime, we are slowly working on compiling the many documents that will be included in our dossier. I would say we are about half done with that. I have to say, I am much more relaxed this second time around and I guess it alleviates some stress knowing that we can't really do much until August anyway.

When August comes, our paperwork will be sent to Ethiopia and we will be officially put on the wait list. We are prayerfully considering what our specific request in terms of age range will be. By the time we receive a referral, Elijah will be 2. Our agency has a rule about wanting the referred child to have at least a 12 month age difference from the children already in your home. That leaves us with the choices of 0-12 months and any child above 3 years old. We do not have a gender preference, so we will probably leave it open and ask for a referral of a child 0-12 months or 3-5 years. We know this probably means receiving a referral for an older child, but we are kind of excited about that. We want to leave it in God's hands and be open to whatever He has for us.

We do not know what our wait time for a referral will be once our dossier is sent in August....infant boy referrals are currently at a wait time of 4-6 months and toddler referrals are somewhat unpredictable. Our family coordinator told us to expect about the same time frame as an infant referral and know that there is a possibility it could be sooner. So, who knows?

I guess there really isn't much information in all of this, but that's where we are....waiting to wait. We are plenty busy around here, so I'm sure it will go quickly!

Happy Birthday to my Biggest Boy!

My biggest boy is having a birthday! Hayden turns 13 on Friday - hard to believe! He is such a blessing to us and we are so proud of him.

Many people who know us now don't realize that he had a bit of a rocky start 13 years ago. Hayden was born at a whopping 2 lbs. 10 oz. and was 10 weeks early. He was a twin, and his identical twin, Nathanael, passed away before birth. It was a crazy time of having an 11 month old at home (yes, you read that right - Haley was not quite 11 months old when they were born), celebrating that Hayden had been born, being worried for his health and future, and grieving for Nathanael. I had no idea what to feel at any given moment. Hayden stayed in the NICU for 37 days and had what would be considered a pretty uneventful hospital stay. (I would NOT have said that at the time, but the Drs. who deal with it every day did!) He came home at 4 lbs. 4 oz. on April 26, Haley's first birthday.

Since a young age, Hayden has always been a tender-hearted, caring boy. He loved to pray even as a little guy, and I have always felt like God spared His life because He has a plan for him. When he was about five, he would evangelize the kids in the neighborhood, and tell them the story of Jesus. One day I looked over as he was shaking a little playmate by the shoulders and saying, "Do you believe, Max, do you believe?" Sweet boy just wanted everyone to know Jesus.

This boy loves all things basketball - loves to play, loves to watch, loves to talk about it, and knows more statistics than I can wrap my brain around. If he could remember to put away his clean clothes like he could remember b-ball stats, we'd be in business! He is in heaven during March Madness, although disappointed that his Illini didn't make it in the NCAA this year. :( Basketball is definitely his favorite, but he will watch any team, any sport, anytime.

We are proud of the young man Hayden is becoming. He's responsible, funny, hard working, and smart. He maintains that sweet spirit he had as a young boy.....this year his #1 request for a birthday present was to donate money towards an organization that will help someone learn how to teach the Bible. He told me it was because he knew that the most important thing someone could do in their life was accept Jesus as their Savior.

I love this kid - Happy Birthday, Hayden!!

Agency Update

We had a conference call with our agency, America World, today. We were able to get a bit more information about what is going on. It doesn't necessarily answer all of our questions about how this will all work out, but it was good to hear.

First, let me start by saying I love our agency. They do such a good job in giving good information, but only what they know is true. There is no speculating or emotional response with them.....which is so important since most of us are plenty emotional without their help! :) They are encouraging and tell us often that they are praying for each one of us - I couldn't recommend them more.

In a nutshell, here is what we learned:
Both parents are now required to travel for their children's court date. The biggest reason for this change is that sometimes parents were traveling to Ethiopia (after they'd passed court) and finding their child to be different than what they expected....more medical issues, developmental delays, etc. Apparently, some families chose to leave that child behind and come home without them. Here is the big problem: Ethiopian adoption is a fully irrevocable process. That means, in their country, there is no undoing it, which is really bad for these kids left behind. They are now stuck without hope of ever being matched with a new family. So, now we will travel to Ethiopia a few days before our court date and spend time with our child. Then, we will go to court to testify of our desire to adopt our child(ren). Honestly, it makes sense. I remember when our agency went to court for Elijah (on our behalf), it did feel a little weird that this child we had never seen or held was now legally ours by his country. I wasn't having doubts, but the process of that felt a little strange.

So, we will travel anywhere from 2-8 weeks after our referral to meet our child, go to court and then return home. (BOO for this part!!) We then wait for the Embassy to do the paperwork and investigating they need to do and will return to ET 8-12 weeks after our court date to bring our child home.....could be a little sooner. No one knows how this process will change over the coming months (it probably will!), but this is the current plan.....not that there is ever a consistent plan with international adoption....the only consistent thing about the whole thing is change!

Leaving on a Jet Plane.......twice!

Ethiopian adoption is definitely experiencing some changes....we were informed of the biggest one so far today by our agency. Now, when you adopt from ET, you must make TWO trips to Ethiopia in order to do so. I am unsure of the reason for the change, but we have a conference call with our agency tomorrow and I'm sure we'll learn more. Some have wondered if it is an effort to combat any suspicion of corruption in Ethiopian adoption, and others say it is because some families have passed court and then never traveled to bring their children home. (HUH??? People DO that??) In any case, it doesn't matter why.....it is what it is.

Honestly, if we didn't have 4 other kids (one of them being a very young child who was adopted himself), and money were no object, I wouldn't really mind going twice. I enjoyed the travel and the time in Ethiopia. However, life has obligations and we (unfortunately) have financial limitations, so the two trip rule is a bit of a bummer. We are very fortunate, though, to have very helpful grandparents nearby (did you hear that, Mom??:) who I am sure will step into help us with the kids when it's time, and we know that God will somehow provide what we need.
It's funny, I had really fought against the idea of sending a letter to family and friends letting them know about financial need this time......well, guess what? I am going to have to take a very big gulp of my own pride and probably do it anyway! (gulp)

My biggest fear with the two trip deal is that it will sway people from adopting from Ethiopia.....and that is the real tragedy. After seeing the country and it's kids, I am sad to think of the families who will choose to go another route because it's easier. It's certainly not right or wrong to adopt from any certain country (they all need homes!), but I am heartbroken to think of children who will stay in orphanages in Ethiopia because the process just got a little harder.

I am SO thankful that I have the benefit of knowing how worth it it all is! I was talking with another adoptive friend this afternoon and we both agreed - we would go to Ethiopia five, or even ten times, if it meant bringing our children home! They are worth it!

Daddy Daughter Dance

Well, the fund raising for our second adoption has begun and we are excited to offer this event we think many families will enjoy! We are hosting a Daddy Daughter Dance 0n April 24. It will held in the youth building (Oasis) at our church, First Christian.
Tickets are available for a minimum donation of $25 per daddy/daughter couple and $5 for each additional daughter. The night will include cupcakes, nail painting, photos, dancing, door prizes, and a Princess Boutique where we will sell tiaras, tutus, ribbon halos, and fairy wands. (Items b/t $3-10) They are darling! Details can be found in the image above.You will also see that a local boutique has been very generous and offered to give the proceeds of fancy dresses sold for this event towards our adoption fund - aren't they cute!?! They are only $59 and would be great for Easter, too! If you would like to purchase tickets, please contact me directly or use the donate button below, indicate who you are purchasing tickets for, and I'll be glad to get them to you. Donations from those who cannot attend are, of course, welcome. Thanks for your support!

Feeling Grateful

Elijah at referral - 5 months old

Today I'm feeling grateful that this little one was given to our family. In light of our 'loss' this week - or I guess, change of plans - it has struck me how if one thing had been different, Elijah may not have been referred to us. If his birth family had not let him go....if he had not been found....if he had not been taken to Kid's Care (one of the best orphanages in Addis and one with a relationship with our adoption agency).....if America World had not gotten the referral for him....and then passed it on to us. I am humbled and grateful that God saw fit to make all of these pieces fall into place at just the right time to bring us this boy. What an incredible gift we've been given and what an amazing God to give it.

I read on another mom's blog, who is in Ethiopia picking up her FOUR children, that she had the opportunity to visit with Aster, the director of Kid's Care this week. Aster expressed her sadness over the recent news stories that have cast Ethiopian adoption in a negative light. Most children who are abandoned are now being taken to government-run orphanages, which is not exactly the best chance for them to be matched with a family. Please pray for these sweet children. With different timing, this would have been our Elijah. I shudder to think of it.

While sad about our news this week, we are hopeful for our 'next Elijah', as a friend put it. And, it leaves us feeling grateful for what we've already been given!

Just For DADS.....

I went to an adoption conference last week and my favorite part was listening to a couple of dads answer questions and share their hearts for adoption. They were just normal everyday kind of guys - and I think that's what made their message so appealing.

Well, due to popular request, one of them has made a video sharing his thoughts on adoption....his fears and questions when he started...and how those have been put to rest.

DADS: Take five minutes of your time and listen to what this guy has to say.....definitely something to think about!

Disappointment and Trusting

We got some hard news today. I can't divulge all the details, but Nathan and I had been looking into pursuing the adoption of a certain little girl through our agency. We got the news today that this sweet girl is not adoptable at this point. We are so disappointed. We are selfishly disappointed for ourselves, because we were hoping to have her as part of our family; however, we are far more disappointed for her. We are hoping and praying that her circumstances will change and she will be matched with a forever family someday.

As for us, we will continue working on our paperwork and home study. We will plan to submit our dossier (code word for everything you never wanted to know about our life) in August when we've been home with Elijah for a year. We are leaving our approval and request for a child wide open at this point until we pray about what exactly that should be. We are open to whatever God thinks best for our family. (Did I just write that???:) Please pray with us that we will be able to discern where He's leading.

We are trusting that God has a plan - both for us and for this little girl. It's hard to make sense of things when they happen this way, but we know He knows best. He brought us the right child when He blessed us with Elijah, and we feel confident He will do it again.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.

"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Adoption Ethics

So, yesterday CBS had a negative story on about Ethiopian adoption. I would love to tell you that my commentary on the piece is going to be objective, but it's not. Stuff like this makes me so angry and the piece was so incomplete, you could hardly say it was unbiased itself. The story accused Ethiopia of child trafficking and unethical adoption. Before I go on, let me say this loud and clear: I am not defending any sort of unethical or immoral behavior in adoption, nor am I denying that it ever occurs. Adoption is no different than anything else - where people are involved, there are bound to be mistakes and sin and the process is bound to be imperfect. Fraud happens in adoption everywhere and I cannot say that it has never happened in Ethiopian adoption, so that is not my point.

This 'news' story highlights a family that has been in the news before with their story about their Ethiopian adoption of 3 older girls. The girls' mother had passed away, but the father was still alive and well. The problem is, the girls have said that their father was paid to give them up and that the girls thought they were coming to America for an education. Apparently, they thought they were returning to Ethiopia when the adoption was complete. So, CBS used this story to raise questions about Ethiopian adoption in general and imply that the entire system is full of corruption and adoption of children who "are not orphans." Let me also say that this post is not a commentary on whether or not this story is true or really happened. I am using it as a spring board to share my thoughts on some questions and concerns the piece raises. If you'd like to watch the whole story, go HERE.

There are a couple of points I'd like to make about this story and about adoption in general.

1. This story implies that "these are not children sitting around in orphanages." REALLY?? How can one even claim that? I have been there and seen them myself. They most certainly are children without homes and families to take care of them. They are sitting in orphanages and they ARE waiting for families. The idea that someone is paying someone - especially for older children who are hard to place - to make money from an adoption is crazy. There are skads of children sitting in orphanages waiting for homes already....there is no need to come up with children to meet the demand. It's ludicrous.

2. Ethiopian adoption is not big business. Last year, in 2009, there were 2277 Ethiopian adoptions in the US. There are 5 million orphans in Ethiopia. MOST children in need of a home in Ethiopia will not get one. Adoption is a blessing to those whose lives it touches, but it is a dream that will not happen for most of these children.

3. Another point made here, and one I've seen made elsewhere is that "these children are not really orphans." I suppose, in some cases, that depends on how you define orphan. If you mean that both of their parents are dead, then maybe some of them aren't. But if you mean that these children do not have families, a place to belong, or adults to take care of them then they most certainly are.
This is one thing that bugs me. Adoptive parents often beat themselves up because they wonder if their child would be better off with their biological family, or feel guilty because they perceive their child was given up due to poverty, treatable sickness, or hardship. The fact is, most of those are true. Most of these children probably were given up because of one of those factors and a smaller number probably have two deceased parents. Does it matter?
Here's the thing: We, as adoptive parents, did not create our children's situation. We did not twist anyone's arm to give up their child. By the time we came on the scene, the child was already in the orphanage....What are we to do then? Not respond because we don't like the reasons they were relinquished? Who are we, as Americans, who are warm and well-fed, to judge another for the decisions they make in situations we cannot begin to imagine?? Yes, of course it is sad that their parents and/or family had to make these heartbreaking decisions....I am not making light of that. But that is not the point here. The point is, we are called to respond to those in need, not to judge or decide if someone is in need because of worthy reasons.

4. In response to "most of these children are not true orphans", I also say this: If you adopted in the United States, most of those children also have a living parent. We don't think anything about that. Why are these children, who are born in a third world country, any less deserving of a family than these American children? The point is this: If these children do not have a loving family or a place to belong, they need us to step up and be that for them. Yes, it's sad that they were often given up due to desperate situations, but they were still given up and they still need us to love them and call them our own. If Christians would rise up and be the hands and feet of Jesus to the poverty stricken around the world in a real and tangible way, many of these families wouldn't be faced with the difficult decisions to give up their children.....but that's another post for another day. If you don't feel called to adopt, but want to fulfill the mandate to care for these children, then do just that. Find a way to connect with an organization or individuals making a difference for these poverty stricken families.....support them so they can keep their kids.

5. The last thing I want to say is that I found Ethiopia to be very conscious of doing right by these children and very careful in making sure that each child was an orphan and was in fact adoptable. During Elijah's referral and court period, there was actually a stop put on court dates for abandoned children because they were being sure that there was no corruption in the system. Many people do not pass thru court the first time because they want to see careful and complete documentation. Our agency, America World, is thorough and cautious in their process as well. I never had any doubts about the ethics or morality of our adoption.

It makes me sad that pieces like this come out and cast doubt in people's mind. There are so many children counting on us to make a difference for them, and some will be stopped because of one story on the evening news telling them the system is flawed. There were no highlights of the wonderful, honest agencies doing good, hard work on behalf of the children. There were no stories told of successful adoptions that had made a difference for families and for kids. I guess that doesn't make for interesting news.

Adoption Fears

In the last few weeks, Nathan and I have individually or together had the opportunity to talk to about 3 couples who are thinking about adoption. They've had many questions - some of the same ones we wrestled with ourselves - and it's caused me to think about some of them. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I wanted to put some of my thoughts down on paper. I figure if some are approaching us with questions, there might be others out there who are wondering the same things.

1. MONEY - How do you afford adoption?? This is probably concern #1 of many adoptive couples. I know it is what kept us from doing it sooner - How in the world do you come up with $25,000 (give or take)? Well, the answer is not the same for all of us. When we pursued adoption the first time, we literally had no idea where the money would come from. I mean, we had a little in savings, but that was spent at the beginning of the adoption and we had much more to come up with.....Our adoption was paid for in many ways. We used a tax refund, had a huge garage sale, sent out fundraising letters (we know some very generous people!), our kids sold coffee, and we worked a monthly payment into our budget that we sent to our agency each month to chip away at our fees. We also took out a home equity line of credit and did use some of that. We will be paying that off with part of our adoption tax credit that we will receive this year. So, that was us. Your plan may look very different......fundraisers, borrowing from family, applying for grants, cutting back in your spending, and taking advantage of the tax credit can all add up. Some may feel conflicted about going into debt for an adoption, but this is a child's life we are talking about. Would you borrow the same amount of money and make payments for a car?
If you have more questions about financial resources, I have a folder of resources from CHOSEN, our church's orphan care and adoption ministry, that I can send you. Just leave me a comment below. You can also go HERE to see a list of possible financial resources available.

2. Will I be able to love an adopted child like my own?? This was not ever a personal fear of mine because we had had children who were 'not our own' live with us for a time, and I can honestly say we loved those children as if they were our own. We had the benefit of experiencing this. It is a question I've heard more than once, though.
Adoption is a small example of the extravagant love God has for each of His children....the way he welcomes us into His family unconditionally and makes us His own. Adoption is God's idea. This is what I know: God will bless your adoption. Period. Now, that's not to say that you won't have problems with adjustment or bonding....that's not realistic. I certainly don't want to over simplify here, because families can and do struggle. But, over time (if not right at first), God will plant a love in your heart for that child....the same kind of love you have for your biological children, should you have them. We have four children, and I love no one of them any more than the rest. Elijah is as mine as Haley, Hayden, and Emma are. I feel that to my core. If this is your struggle, pray about it. And then I dare you to trust God and see if he doesn't do miraculous things in your heart. I dare you to love as extravagantly as He does. HERE is another post about the fear of loving a child as your own, from a dad's perspective.

3. How will my children be affected? You are right to consider your children, we certainly did. We talked and talked about the possible implications for them and what it might mean. What it came down to for us was this: We want our children to live out their faith, experience God's faithfulness, and not be afraid to do big things for God. We wanted to, as a family, not be afraid to step out and trust God to provide as we stepped out to do what we felt He was calling us to do. We wanted to pray about it as a family, experience the highs and lows together, and see God at work in our lives. We wanted to be in the middle of where He was moving, and be a part of it. We certainly didn't adopt for the reason of giving our children this experience, but I will tell you, it has been one of the greatest blessings. Our children know what it is to experience God's faithfulness and it has matured and grown them ten-fold.
You are right - your children will be affected, they will not be unchanged. All parts probably won't be easy, and a kid or two may get their nose bent out of joint. It's OK. Trust God to work it all for good in their lives....I know He certainly has in ours.
If you want to read another adoptive parent's point of view on how adoption has affected their children go HERE.

I know there are concerns here that I have not covered, but they seem to be the ones I am hearing right now. I may blog about another set of fears and questions another time....If you'd like me to address any other questions, or concerns, please leave a comment.
I will leave you with one last blog....she recently had two posts that really caught my eye. The first one is about excuses we all make as to why 'we could never adopt', and the second post is about the truth that our life really is not our own and how difficult that is to really grasp. I thought I would pass them on....thought provoking stuff.

Finally, if you are in the 'thinking' stage of adoption, or even just considering it, there is a great FREE conference you need to think about attending in Normal IL on Saturday, February 20. Looks like great info - go HERE to register!

Round Two

Well, it's official - we are in the process of adoption #2!! (I know this is old news for those closest to us, but we have yet to 'officially' announce it). We are so excited to be on this path again!

Even before we went to Ethiopia to bring Elijah home, we had talked about adopting again. In fact, we entertained and prayed about the possibility of bringing home 2 children at the same time when we adopted the first time. For whatever reason, we never felt a peace about doing that and those doors were not opened. Our decision to adopt again is a culmination of what is on our hearts and experiences we had in Ethiopia. We do not yet know exactly what our 'request' for a child will be....probably not an infant, and probably not a child too old. (is that vague enough for you??:) Ultimately, it doesn't matter what we think. We know God will bring us just the right child for our family.

So...we've applied to our agency again and be accepted to the Ethiopia program. We've started our home study and sent in our I-600a. (for those of you that don't speak adoptionese, this is a form you must file with immigration to bring an orphan into the country.) We know what we are in for this time, and I think that is mostly a good thing. We know better what to expect and a few things we can do to be proactive about our part of it. The funny thing, though, is that you really don't have any control in this process....but some of us like to pretend. :) We also have the benefit of looking at holding the result of an adoption every single day. We have a real, live reminder of the blessing that adoption is in the end....and that is a very good thing!

Heart for Orphans

If you are like me, you have watched the news in horror over the last 8-9 days. The tragedy in Haiti is hard to look at and I think we all ache to make some kind of a difference. My inbox has been flooded with ways to help, ways to give, and with details of what certain organizations are trying to accomplish there. My heart breaks as I watch the images on the news...especially the crying children and pictures of those left behind who lost their parents or maybe didn't have a family before. I want to swoop in and rescue them all and help place them in loving families.

It is interesting to me.....since the earthquake I have seen countless emails, facebook posts, and blog entries speaking about how important it is for us to go and adopt these children from Haiti. (which by the way, is all but impossible right now unless you were already in the process) I agree...orphans are important. They are important to the heart of God and should, therefore, be important to us. The one good thing that is happening as a result of this tragedy is the attention and thought the orphan crisis is receiving. (No, God did not cause it for that purpose, but he can make good out of any situation).

The orphan crisis was with us long before the earthquakes in Haiti last week....it is a growing problem that affects an estimated 147 million children. Millions.....hard numbers to grasp. It's true, you may not be able to adopt from Haiti right now, but there are children all over the world and even kids in the US that need our help. They need a home....someone to love them....somewhere to belong. Things most of us have had and probably take for granted for all of our lives. I think (and hope) that the US and Haiti will work together to make a way for these children to find forever homes. Pray with me that that happens....and that God will use this situation to draw attention to orphans and adoption in general and a difference will be made for many children who need a home!

Dear Birth Mother

Dear Birth Mother,

You've been on my mind a lot lately. We celebrated Elijah's first birthday this week and I couldn't help but think of you...the woman who gave him life. I couldn't help but think of what life might have been like for both of you a year ago.....and the questions came. Where was he born? Who was with you? Were you alone? Does he have brothers and sisters? Did his birth bring you joy, worry, celebration or concern?....or a mixture of all of them?

I wish I could tell you about our boy....about the joy he is and his easy going disposition. His quick smile and belly laugh. The way his eyes sparkle and how he loves to be held. I wish you could know that he is loved - deeply loved. I wish you could know that he is safe....part of a family....and is treasured more than anything else in this world. We will protect him, teach him, and love him. We will give you a place of honor in our family. This woman who gave him life and surrendered her life with him to give him something more.

I don't know - and will never know - what the circumstances surrounding Elijah's birth were, or why you gave him up. I will never know if you were unable to provide for him, if you were sick, or if you passed away. Some questions will never be answered this side of heaven. I pray for you often...that you might have true relationship with Christ, that God will provide for and protect you, that you will have peace and that he will bless you and your family....including Elijah's father and siblings.

This I do know.....I am grateful for this gift you have given. I am sad that you will not know this incredible child, or even know if he is being taken care of. While I do not know the answers to my many questions or what your life was like a year ago, I do know that we both love this boy. I know that our life is richer with him in it, and I will be forever grateful to you for your part in his life. You will be honored and respected in our home, and we will continue to pray for you.

Blessings,

Elijah's Forever Mom

Look Who's One!

Elijah checking out his new horse.....

Enjoying the ride!
(What this doesn't show is how scared he was of it and how we had to work up to this!)

Hmm.....is this for ME??

Trying a taste.......

I can't believe it!!

Don't you want to pick me up.....?

Hard to believe it is Elijah's first birthday already! Even harder to believe we have been home 5 months this month, and yet we can't remember life before him. What a blessing he has been. Emma regularly says, "Mom, our life would be so boring without Elijah!" I don't exactly remember it being boring, but I'm so glad we didn't miss this blessing. We are thankful today that he is in our lives! Happy Birthday, Elijah!! We love you!

Cutest Little Patient.....

Elijah had a big day today. He had not one, but two surgical procedures done. He has had several ear infections since he came home in August and needed tubes in his ears. This, in itself...not such a big deal! The other procedure, though, shall we say, was a little sensitive. The poor guy also had a circumcision. (His dad made me do it!) Eli tolerated both procedures fairly well, but had a difficult time coming out of anesthesia.....he was so confused...flailing around, hurting himself with his own movement, and not understanding what in the world had happened to him!! The above picure of him is BEFORE the procedures....and he's a pretty cute little hospital patient if I don't say so myself. :) He's in bed now and we are glad to be on the other side of this and praying for a speedy recovery!!

Happy New Year!

Can you believe 2009 is coming to a close? I always find myself feeling a both excited and sad every year at New Year's. I know it is supposed to be a time of celebrating and looking forward - and it is - but it's also a time for reflecting. A time for reflecting on the past year, both the joys and the sorrows and the things you'd like to change.....the relationships you wish were different, the areas of your life you need to be more purposeful and intentional, and the ways you can make a difference.

I hope this finds you doing well, reflecting on your blessings, and looking forward to the new year. I know it does me - feeling grateful for my many, many gifts this year - and yet a bit sad that it all goes so quickly. (as I get older, it only seems to go faster - or maybe with each kid it seems to go more quickly!) I am vowing to do better in some areas of my life and try to surrender other areas to God. I guess that's what New Year's is good for....an evaluation of how we can grow and better ourselves. (although I don't make "resolutions", I still find it a good time to reflect!)

So, from our house to yours - Happy New Year! We hope 2010 will be a year which brings good things your way!

I will tell of the kindnesses of the LORD, the deeds for which he is to be praised, according to all the LORD has done for us— yes, the many good things he has done for the house of Israel, according to his compassion and many kindnesses.
Isaiah 63:7

A New Tradition

Christmas has come and gone at the Garrison home and we hope your celebration was blessed. We had a great time with family and enjoyed having many of them in our home for food and fun. Elijah, of course, had little interest in his gifts and loved the wrapping paper most of all. We tried to find moments to focus on the reason for this special holiday, but it proves to be a challenge every year in the hustle and bustle.

We did begin a new tradition this year that I hope we will continue. This idea is thanks to a Facebook friend who shared it after I asked for ways to make the Christmas holiday more Christ centered. Before Christmas Eve, I asked everyone to prayerfully consider what their gift to Jesus would be this year. What would Jesus want for Christmas? It could be to spend more time with Him in prayer or reading scripture, to forgive someone who has hurt you, to work on some aspect of your life that needs refined, serve more, etc. We each wrote these down, wrapped them in gift boxes they'd been given ahead of time, and brought them to a family meeting after church on Christmas Eve. Each of us then unwrapped our gift and shared what we were going to give Jesus. (It is His birthday, after all!)

It was interesting to hear what our children had chosen as their gifts to Him. It brought me such joy and pride to hear them vowing to love Him more through giving of their resources (time, money), and spending more time with Him in prayer. Each of ours was a little different, but I think we found a theme of wanting to give more of ourselves and spend more time with Him. And that, I think, is what Jesus wants for Christmas!

Want to make a difference for just $25???

So....what can you do with $25? Let's see....you could fill half your tank with gas, take half your family out to eat (depending on it's size, of course!), take about 4 people to the movies, or SAVE A CHILD'S LIFE!

That's right - for just $25 a month, you can make a life saving difference in the life of orphans. Children's Hopechest has just launched their new partner's website. Go HERE. They have a goal of enlisting 1,000 new partners this month so they can reach 5,000 more orphans in 2010. (see what a difference your few dollars can make??)

Children's Hopechest has set the goal of raising $500,000 to reach another 5,000 orphaned children in 2010. They’re raising these funds so that…

• Fewer young girls are forced to trade sex for food.
• More orphans will have food to eat, and the protection and love of Christian mentors
• No girl will end up in the commercial sex trade.

Your donation will feed orphans in Africa and rescue them from extreme poverty. Your gifts will support life changing programs for girls in Russia that help prevent sex trafficking and forced prostitution. So, give up those lattes or fountain sodas....for less than $1 a day, you can change a child's life!

Just Because He's Cute.....

Elijah, 11 months
(we don't know what the tongue thing is about....but he does it all the time!)

Have a great week!

Gifts that Give

If you are like most families this Christmas season, you will be buying lots of gifts for those you love. I've done a little research, and I thought I would share what I've found about giving gifts that can give not only to those you are giving to, but help lift someone else up out of poverty as well. There are many great organizations out there that do this, but here are just a few I've found.

First off, there are wonderful organizations that allow you to buy a practical gift for those in need in someone else's honor or memory. For example, you can purchase a goat, chicks, blankets, livestock, food, etc. for those who so desperately need them. It's hard for us to imagine in our American abundance, but these gifts can literally change people's lives. Samaritan's Purse and World Vision are two organizations that have great gift catalogs for this kind of gift.

If you are in need a gift where your recipient has a little something to open, there are a plethora of organizations or companies that sell a product and the proceeds go to support charitable causes as well. Here are just a few, but if you look online, you'll find even more.

• Bajalia Trading Company sells a variety of items including jewelry, baskets, pillows, throws, stationary, journals, and more. All items are hand crafted by local women (choose a region - China, Afghanistan, India, Turkey or Uganda) and the proceeds go to help them rise above poverty. The organization aids in training and other forms of community development to empower low-income people as they work to improve their lives.
• Cards from Africa has a variety of hand made cards made in Rwanda by families affected by AIDS and genocide. Selling their product helps them to rebuild their lives.
• Saints Coffee - Buy a pound of coffee and feed an orphan for a month! Easy enough...we all know coffee drinkers! This is a fair trade coffee that uses its proceeds to partner with organizations such as Children's Hopechest, a Christian organization that is meeting children's needs and sharing Jesus with them at the same time.
• For the little ones on your shopping list, go take a look at Tiny Rockstar. They have some darling little shirts and buying just one t-shirt feeds a child for an entire month....for as little as $12, you get a t-shirt and help an orphan.
• Punjammies Premium Sleepwear carry lots of comfy PJs....all made by women who have been rescued or escaped from a life of forced prostitution. This organization gives them a rare opportunity to make a new life for themselves.
  
• Hand and Cloth sells beautiful blankets made by women in Calcutta India who have been rescued from red-light districts. Through creative enterprise and the transforming love of Jesus Christ, this organization seeks to empower women to begin new lives. The blankets are made from recylced sari material (the traditional Indian dress for women). Participants in the ministry receive employment, training, and regular Bible studies.
• Good Paper is a free trade organization that sells greeting cards, handbags, journals and stationary. Good Paper alleviates poverty, helps orphans and socially oppressed peoples in Africa, India and the Philippines.
• Trade As One (Change a life with everything you buy) is an organization whose mission it is to use sustainable business to break cycles of poverty and dependency in the developing world. They have an wide variety of products from coffee, jewelry, scarves, apparel, bags, chocolate, and the list goes on. Everything here is sold fair trade and benefits someone trying to work their way out of poverty.
• Freeset sells t-shirts made by women who have been rescued from the red-light districts in India.

As I said, there is more where that came from, but this may give you a start if you are inspired to give gifts that serve a dual purpose. Also - if you are local - be sure to stop by a sale that a local Christian orphan advocacy group is holding. Known to Me is a community of believers who are coming together to change the lives of a community in Swazliland, Africa. You can read more about it on their website, but they are having a sale this Saturday, December 5 from 8-2 at Windsor Road Christian Church. They will be selling hand rolled bead jewelry from Beads for Life (Uganda), handmade purses from Timbali Crafts (Swaziland), and Just Love coffee that supports Known To Me’s efforts at the Ludlati carepoint. I also noticed that Just Love supports the orphanage in Ethiopia that Elijah came from (Kids Care). Be sure to check it out!

Be sure to share with the rest of us what ways you are giving gifts with purpose this season!
Merry Christmas!

Just ONE less = BIG change

Contemplating the Contrast

As we enter this holiday season, I find myself reflecting on my blessings. I find it very easy to be thankful because my life is full, my blessings are abundant, and my circumstances are good. We are healthy, we are well taken care of (even if it's sometimes a squeeze to the next pay check), and our life is good. Who, in our circumstances, could not be grateful for the life they've been given?

But what if our circumstances were different? Does my gratitude and joy only come because my life is easy? What if I found myself in the shoes of someone less fortunate - what would my attitude be then? How easy it is to trust and rejoice when things in our life are good. And here's the bigger question: What am I doing to share my gratitude and joy with those who are less fortunate?

Lately I have been missing Ethiopia a lot. I've been thinking about the simpler, slower way of life. About the way they seem to engage with each other and have lots of time for each other. As we enter the Christmas hoopla, I am just struggling with it a bit this year. I love the decorating (yes, I already have my tree up!), the baking, and the time spent with my husband, kids, and family. But, is it where we find our joy? Is a beautiful tree and lots of material gifts really where our joy is found? Of course not. I just find myself caught in the contrast of what life is here this time of year (which actually serves to make many of us grumpier) and the life that I saw in Ethiopia. Which of these ways of life help us to keep our focus where it should be? I tend to think our African friends have gotten this right.

For those of you wondering, I have not become a scrooge - I do not hate Christmas and am looking forward to celebrating this year. Maybe after being in Africa and bringing home our precious boy who was literally found in it's streets, I just feel a little different about the excess. And find myself contemplating all the good that could be done for those who really need it this Christmas.

Where, oh where, have I been?

Where have I been....well, right here; just not blogging very successfully. I am sure by now there is no one out there even checking this thing!! The longer I waited to post the harder it was to think about where I would even start or what of interest I might have to say anymore!

We are doing well....Elijah is 10 months old now and is ALL over the place! He is crawling, climbing and pulling up and needs constant supervision. He is a joy, though, and continues to be an incredibly happy baby. He has been healthy, too....no ear infections for a month! When we went to the Dr. the other day they did say he had some fluid in his ears, but it wasn't infected yet. We are hoping the fluid will clear on it's own or it's off to the ENT for us! Still no teeth for the little guy yet, so his diet consists of baby food and puffs. Mmmmm......good thing he doesn't know any better! :)

The rest of us are doing well, too. The three big kids and I are enjoying home school and the freedom that brings. After teaching the last 5 years, I am amazed that you can get more done in a shorter day when it's only your kids and you aren't always waiting for everyone else to be done!

I have been busy with the Chosen ministry at church. We launched this new orphan care and adoption ministry in August with a 'Least of These' Sunday and a shoe drive. Then a couple of weeks ago, we had a dinner event with Tom Davis as our speaker....it was awesome! We had about 200 people show up, which were excited about - especially for our first event of this kind! Since then we've had many people show interest in adoption or orphan care - which was EXACTLY the point...three families have talked to me about getting more adoption information and we have another group of people interested in doing international orphan care!! Lots going on and lots to figure out in this new ministry, but it's good, exciting stuff!!

So.....where have I been? Well, home schooling 3 kids, taking care of a baby, working on ministry and running to basketball, tennis, guitar, piano, chamber choir rehearsal, and church events. Now that I'm back in the groove of writing, I'll try to do better!!
Blessings!

Robel

Since our trip, I have thought of often of a man named Robel. Robel works for America World and was our travel guide during our trip to Ethiopia....but he was really so much more. Robel was really an inspiration to me; an example of what it is to live out your faith.
Some of the details of his story are fuzzy to me, but I will share what I do know the best I can.....As a ten year old boy, Robel moved 300 miles away from his mom and sister to Addis Ababa (capital city) to work and help provide for them. He was a street kid and did what he could to get by - washed cars, shined shoes, etc. He came to become a Christian through an organization that had soccer games for the kids to participate in. It was a Christian organization and in time they asked him to come to Bible studies in addition to the games. He described to me being overcome as he read the Bible, feeling as though God was talking straight to him. He continued to attend church and grow in his faith. Through some experiences and connections with people that can only be attributed to God's hand on his life, Robel was able to go to college in Cuba. He returned to Addis Ababa, where he lives now, to "pay it forward". He worked for the UN for a while, but being disgusted by the waste of money that could go to help others, he quit. He now works for our adoption agency and recently worked with National Geographic to shoot a television show called "Departures" where he traveled with their crew to document Ethiopia.

Robel is an amazing man....young and yet so sure of what it is to live out his faith. He has about 23 street kids that he works with. He checks in on them, makes sure they go to school (which costs him money), teaches them to sell or serve (ex. shining shoes) for money instead of expecting a hand out. He knows what it is to walk in their shoes and invests in their lives. He is amazing with the kids - both on the streets and in the orphanages. Robel is in the process of starting an organization to help these kids called Children's Future Ethiopia. If you are not a friend of Facebook, look it up. There are opportunities to help and sponsor kids coming soon! Get connected with him and support him to help him make a difference. I have seen these precious kids with my own eyes.....they need you.


We had such a good time getting to know Robel. It was only a week of our life, but we were forever challenged to live more sacrificially and act on our faith. If only the world had more Robels.....it would surely be a better place.

What Now?

I've been pondering a lot lately what God has next for me and for my family. Let me try and explain....

When we began our adoption journey, I was so on fire for the cause of orphans and was overwhelmed with purpose to make a difference for their cause. Our family stepped out in faith to adopt a child because we believed it was a way that God could use our family....we knew we could not make a difference to 143 million orphans, but we knew we could to one. We felt convicted that if all Christians worked together to care for these sweet children, we could together make a difference. We were excited to feel this sense of purpose and passion and thought this must be "it". This is what God had for our family.

Well, fast forward about a year and a half. We are home with our precious boy, and we couldn't be happier. Elijah is an amazing gift and he is our own. But, you see, that's just it. We have grown our family to include Eli because by the grace of God, He chose us to parent this beautiful child. We are so grateful. So, you can see how we feel like we really have done nothing for the cause of orphans at all, but only received this blessing that God had for us.

I still carry the same passion to make a difference in the lives of these fatherless children. So, that leaves me asking, "What next?" What do I do now.....now that I have received this gift, and discovered my heart for the least of these...what do I do now?

I partially know the answer. In the previous post I talked about a new orphan care and adoption ministry I am a part of launching in our church. It is something God planted in my heart not long after we decided to adopt and I was beginning to discover how big the orphan crisis really was. I have no idea where God is going to take this ministry or what He has in mind....but I am excited to be along for the ride! It is my hope and prayer that God will use it to help these kids. I hope that people's hearts will be stirred to do something to help children in need....I don't care if they are next door or around the world....wherever God leads you. I hope this ministry will be a resource and encouragement for families hoping to adopt - but I also hope that it will be bigger than that. That families who do not feel called to adopt will find meaningful ways to connect with these kids and make a difference. All of that to say, I do feel purposeful in being a part of this ministry and I know it is part of the role God has for me in this cause.

But still, I find myself searching. I can hear some of you now....yes, I have four kids; yes, I am home schooling; and yes, I am involved in this church ministry. But the burden God has laid on my heart for the orphan is real and my heart is stirred to do more. What does that mean? I don't know. Will we adopt again? Quite possibly. Does it mean working in and growing in this ministry? I think so.

I guess now that we are home, it just feels like we've returned to "life as normal" and I'm not sure I'm OK with that. Yes, my life is good. But I don't want to grow comfortable with "good" and "normal". I want to live my life in a way that is purposeful and not about me. Admittedly, I am not very good at that yet, and it's easier said than done. But, I hope, through the searching and the desire to be purposeful for Him, I will continue to discover what exactly it is He has for me to do. Until then, we will enjoy these blessings we've been given and keep our eyes open for the next!

Chosen

I am so excited to tell you about an orphan care and adoption ministry I am a part of launching at our church. Chosen is a ministry whose purpose and passion it is to walk alongside God's people as we seek to fulfill God's mandate to care for the orphan together. We hope to start our ministry simply by making people aware of the incredible need for us to step up and be a part of the solution of the orphan crisis. In keeping with this idea, we are so excited to be hosting a dinner event on November 6 with speaker Tom Davis. We are thrilled that Tom has agreed to come speak and know that he will be both a blessing and an inspiration to all who attend this special evening.

For those of you who don't know who Tom is, there is a brief bio included on the invite below. If you live near us, please plan on attending this event. We are very fortunate Tom agreed to come, and we have a fabulous musical guest and a great dinner planned as well. Help us pass the word on as well! See you there!!

(Click on the invite to enlarge and see all the details!!)

GO

Dear Elijah.....

Dear Elijah,

My heart is full of things I want you to know....about my love for you and your Father's sweet grace that brought you to us. You were planted in my heart by God, before I even knew who you were, what you looked like, or how it would all work out. I loved you before I knew you and I will always be grateful that we were blessed with the gift of you.

You were not born of my natural body as your older siblings were, but you were brought into our family with no less desire, joy, or purpose than they were. Adoption was not our second choice, and neither were you. It was only that we discovered the blessing of adoption later in life. Little one, we are so glad we did because it led us to you. We simply cannot imagine our lives without you.

As you get older, you may have some questions. I want you to know that it's OK....your dad and I are strong enough to handle them and we expect them. You will wonder about your birth family and why they let you go, and about your birth country and it's people. You may even feel lonely and sad for them. It's OK. We will love you through the questions and do our best to help you process the grief that accompanies adoption. We will hurt for your hurts and are already praying that our God will heal those empty places in your heart where your questions linger. You may not look like us, but you are no less part of our family because of it. You belong here.

I continue to be amazed at this incredible gift we have received. I pray we will be the parents you need us to be and you will always know of our love for you. There is nothing you could ever do to change that....nothing. We will never give up on you, leave you or turn our backs on you. You are ours forever...and our hearts are full because of it.

I love you,
Mom