Impressed Upon Our Hearts

What we've been up to...In pictures!

2011-08-09T14:05:00.008-05:00

The girls have been working hard this summer to get ready for school!

Haley and Elijah ready to board the carousel!

Hayden at STL zoo.

The boys at the pool.

Sweet Emma.

Elijah is looking so old! What's up with that?

Solomon climbing the slide!

Grace got a doll for her birthday!

We tried our hand at straightening hair, just for fun!

The boys insisted on tutus one afternoon...I'm pretty sure their dad is over these kind of pictures...but, hey..they asked for it!

I especially love it with the 'Dude' t-shirt!

It's Easier to Just Bring the Cupcakes....

2011-08-05T21:34:00.007-05:00

Lately, my life seems to be a comedy of errors...I only wish I thought it was funny. Some days I'm pretty sure I'm losing it and I may never 'have it together' again. Today might be one of those days. Let me tell you about my last week or week and a half...

First off, I misplaced (OK...lost) a sizeable check. A check to a local ministry that I have a heart for...and I felt sick. It was replaced, with the promise that if anyone finds the first check it would be torn up. So...everyone makes mistakes, right?

Secondly, after a meeting at our church last week (for our church's orphan care/adoption ministry), I may or may not have been part of setting off the church alarm. My first instinct was to run (that would have made for a good story!)...my second was to call one of our church's pastors who lives nearby -but no answer. I decided to text our senior pastor, he told me how to turn the alarm off after giving me a hard time. We shut it off , waited for a few minutes in case the police showed up, and then I headed home. On my way home, he texted back to tell me I needed to return to the building to turn the alarm back on...so, of course, I did. And guess what? Yep. The police were there. The policeman was walking the perimeter of the building looking for the 'suspect' (I guess that's me), and so I explained to him what happened. He was very nice, went on his way, and I proceeded to go inside and turn the alarm back on. Crisis averted.

Fast forward a few days and I'm at our church's indoor playground with my kids, except my oldest, Haley, is at home. She texts me asking if she can make some lemonade slushy while I'm gone. Of course I respond that she can, and go on to play with my kids. When I check my phone again, I see that I've received a text from Don (the first pastor I tried to call the night of my church break in) that reads something like, "No, it's not frozen yet. It takes about 30 minutes." HUH? I think to myself, "This is either for someone else, or he's losing it." Turns out, the person losing it is ME. Somehow, Haley's text to ME was forwarded to HIM...and he gets a text thinking that I am asking him to make a slushy. Who's losing it now???! (He hasn't admitted it, but I'm pretty sure he's going to be watching me very closely now). I mean how weird is it for a grown woman to text a man she hardly ever texts with to ask permission to make a drink?? Loco.

The next incident isn't so funny...today, my kids and I were in a minor car accident. Minor in that no one was hurt - only our vehicles. But the accident was my fault. I looked down for what seemed to me like a millisecond and cars were stopping in front of me...I braked and swerved, but could not miss the car in front of me. At the time, I felt calm and focused...checked on the driver in the other car, called 911, kept my kids out of traffic and eventually to the side of the road. I was so blessed to have two friends witness the accident and stop to give us rides home...you know it takes two "normal" vehicles to transport our family. I was fine until I got inside my home...and I lost it. I'm talking the uncontrollable ugly cry. What just happened? What could have just happened? What kind of mom am I that I wasn't paying enough attention and could have caused my children harm??

If you read my last post, you heard me be transparent about some of the challenges of adjusting to being a family of nine, and some of the inadequacies I've felt. These mistakes - funny or not - pile guilt on top of guilt and leave me feeling ill equipped to do a good job in my role of mom. I mean, am I really losing it? Forgetting and losing things, not to mention breaking into the church, and now running into stopped cars? I've never thought I was a candidate for 'mom of the year', but I used to feel like I could hold it all together...these days, it's all being held together by a tattered string and I'm holding on as tight as I can.

After the accident I was blubbering (and I mean that in the most literal sense - sobbing) to my friend Kim about how inadequate I've felt lately...how exhausted I am...and how I just want to have it together again for my family. I rambled through many scenarios and examples, and also began to tell her about school registration for Grace and Aleigha and the parent sign up sheets that were out for this or that. I shared that I could have cried at the thought of putting my name down and signing up for one more thing...I just couldn't. But then, of course, I felt like a disappointment because I wasn't doing those things. I mean, I'm the mom who is at home and can do all of those things, right? Shouldn't I be? She very clearly said, "Let another mom do that...one who has less on their plate. Others haven't signed up for what you have in having 7 kids and newly adjusting to bringing 3 home five months ago...Let them bring the cupcakes this time." Through my tears, and half laughing, I responded, "But it's easier to just bring the cupcakes!" We both burst out laughing...

It's true. It's easier to just bring the cupcakes than to sign up for what we have. I'm not looking for sympathy here...although I am needing a little grace at times. Grace for friends who haven't been called in a while, my family members I informed of a dance recital at the last minute,and a husband who doesn't get as much of me a what he needs. Someday I suppose I'll look back at all of this with a different perspective. Right now, it's hard to see.

Earlier I was talking to my oldest daughter and telling her than I knew I wasn't always on my A game lately...and I apologized to her if there were times I had let her down. Her response (in as dry of a tone you can imagine): "And when was that, Mom? Stop making stuff up." Another moment of laughter...it does help put things in perspective. I guess they are maybe going to all survive my parenting after all.

So, here's my new slogan: It's easier to just bring the cupcakes!

God apparently thought I could handle more than a few dozen cupcakes. I have days of wondering if he was right....but as I tell my kids, he doesn't make mistakes.

Easy and Hard

2011-07-31T15:09:00.005-05:00

We have been a family of nine for 5 months now. For the 3 or 4 of you who still check this blog, you've probably noticed that I've been relatively silent. Some of that is because of sheer busyness, and some of it is intentional. Let me explain....

We have had what in the adoption world would be seen as a relatively 'easy' time with adjustment since our three new ones came home. They are adjusting better than we expected and we don't have any major issues....no uncontrollable crying, no night terrors or sleeping problems, no major food issues, and no serious acting out from any of them. They are learning English well and the little girls have learned much in preparation for school. I was prepared for much harder, and we have been pleasantly surprised. So, for those adoptive parents who've read every book, you know that our journey would be considered 'easy'.

But I'm here to be honest today. While things are going well, this isn't easy. It's just not. Adding three people to your family at once with their own histories, personalities, and habits isn't easy. Inviting their grief and loss into your home isn't easy. Having seven kids isn't easy. Trying to be enough for everyone in your family isn't easy. Most of the time it leaves me feeling as though I'm not enough for anyone.

Add in the dynamics of relationships - new and old - in a family of nine, 5 billion doctor appointments, a slight bit of panic (from mom only) about being sure the girls are learning everything they need to, and the constant nagging feeling that someone isn't getting what they need....and what you get is one exhausted mama. That would be me.

We have lots of good days, and I haven't blogged more about the hard because I want to honor my children. I don't want anyone making inaccurate assumptions about how we feel about them, or that we've bitten off more than we could chew. We love our children and are so glad they are here. But, the very desire to do better for them out of my love for them makes it harder...I want to be a good mother to them. I want to honor God in what he's asked me to do.

Good thing God's grace is bigger than my mind can imagine...and his love for me is true - not the lies of unworthiness I struggle with on hard days. He is bigger, and he is good. And today, I'm thanking him for both the easy AND the hard...and trusting him through it all. I'm choosing to believe that he can use it all for my good.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Don't Believe It

2011-07-12T18:03:00.009-05:00

Hunger and Drought in the Horn of Africa

Ethiopia Drought

The drought in East Africa is said to be the worst in 60 years. Cattle and livestock are dying, and their crops are not growing. This is how they feed their family. Can you imagine? I mean, really imagine? I know you have seen the images before - the starving babies and the desperate mothers - but have ever really stopped to think about what it would be like to be in their shoes...? To be hungry, thirsty, sick, and even dying and have no way to help yourself? To watch your children suffer?? To watch your children die?

This is more than a news article or a sad story...these people are real. In fact, I have 3 of my own children who are from the very region this drought is affecting. I look at them and think that only a year ago, this drought would be affecting their lives, their family, and their health. They still have some family members there...I pray for them, and for others as I know they are suffering this very moment. I no longer look at children in the pictures and feel like they are distant images. I have held them, kissed them, loved them, and tucked them in bed at night. I can feed my children a snack or get them a cup of clean water whenever I want. I do not struggle to provide food or nourishment to my children, and I have never felt that heartache.

It is easy to believe that there is nothing we can do, or that our contribution can ever make much of a difference. It's easy to dismiss the headline as something horrible that's happening far away, and not look at it as an opportunity to be part of helping the situation. This what I'm asking of you:

Don't believe it.
Don't believe the lie that you can't make a difference.

You CAN make a difference...if each one of us gives what we can, it matters. Find a reputable organization working in eastern Africa and partner with them to bring aid to the suffering. (and if you know of an organization doing good, honest work, please let us all know in the comments).

Here are a few options:

- World Vision
- Samaritan's Purse - Call 800-528-1980 to donate and tell them exactly where you want the money to go.
- Children's Hopechest - Just make a note that it is for east African drought

The bottom line is this: Jesus cares about these precious people, and wants us to, too. We are his hands and feet...and it's time to take action. Heaven knows we would want someone to act if we were in their shoes.

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Matthew 25:40

So Glad They Are Mine

2011-05-08T20:42:00.008-05:00

It sounds so cliche' to say over and over again how blessed I am, but I am at a loss for any other way to say it. This Mother's Day, much is on my mind. We spent a great day today at church, and then driving to Indianapolis to eat Ethiopian food and go to the zoo. It was a great day, and I truly enjoyed being with my family. More than once I looked at my children and was in awe of the way God has blessed my life. Is there any life greater than this? I'd argue there is not. Once again...I'm so, so glad I didn't miss it...

Haley, 15

My sweet, reserved girl. Haley is responsible and mature beyond her years, and a natural caregiver. She's my right hand and the gift who first made me a mother.

Hayden, 14
My tender-hearted boy....loves Jesus and cares about others. As a young boy he would invite his neighbor friends into our home to hear the 'Jesus story'. Can't wait to see what God does in his life.

Emma, almost 12
So proud of the young lady she is becoming. She adds life to our family and joy to our home...navigating middle school with integrity and becoming more and more comfortable in her skin. Her heart for those suffering is unmatched.

Grace, 6
I am humbled when I think of the loss and change this sweet girl has endured...and done so with such grace (no pun intended:). My outgoing, fun-loving girl. We are beyond blessed to have her in our lives.

Aleigha, 5
Beautiful smile, precious heart...this one will steal your heart. Her laugh is contagious....she is more shy than her sister, but beautiful through and through.

Elijah,2
Light of my world, spunk of my day...he keeps things interesting for sure. He is a natural encourager and cheers us on in whatever we are doing (He stood at the door cheering Hayden while he mowed the lawn yesterday!). Watch out world, he's gonna be in charge of something!

Solomon, almost 2
This darling boy captures my heart a little more every day. He loves to smile and laugh and cuddle and sing. He (and his brother) insist on me singing 'Jesus Loves Me' to them at every nap/bed time and he does his best to sing along. I heart him.

Do you see it..? Do you see how blessed I am? Honestly, I can hardly get over it myself. God is good and his plan is always better. I could have missed it all so easily...I get teary at the thought. By birth or by adoption; it doesn't matter how they came...they are among my greatest blessings.

What have we been up to...?

2011-04-16T18:23:00.007-05:00

Whew....time sure can get away from you, and before you know it, it's been weeks since you've updated the blog! Below are a few pictures of what we've been up to, so I thought I'd share those....you'll notice that my big kids are not represented below - that's for a couple of reasons...first off, they are at school during the day when many of these are taken...and second, they've gotten pretty good at avoiding the camera lens. :)

Do you see anything wrong with this picture...?

We've been working with the girls on recognizing and writing letters, and writing their names. We're so proud of what they've learned so far!

Grace gives her name a try, too! Good job, girls!

Solomon cracks us up - he loves this bicycle helmet! When we go outside he often insists on wearing it. It's not standard procedure around here to wear helmets for a stroller ride, but I thought this was pretty cute!

We're wishing for warmer weather...Grace tries on her swim suit!

One day over spring break, the older girls got bored and decided to give their little brothers a make over...I know there is something not quite right about this, but they're still pretty cute!

Solomon tries on Daddy's shoes...he was so proud.

The girls got new bikes and LOVE to ride them!

Grace asks to go outside to ride several times a day.

So, that's us...busy AND blessed!

Brave

2011-03-24T14:34:00.004-05:00

When I look at my children's faces, it is hard for me to imagine all they have been through...all they have lost...all they have seen in their short lives. When I think of the changes they've endured, I can hardly imagine enduring them myself. Loss of family, loss of relationship, loss of security, of language, culture, custom, and all that is familiar. Can you imagine? I honestly can't.

These sweet babies have not only endured, but handled it all so well. They are learning their third language (they spoke another language at home before being transferred to the Transition Home where they spoke Amharic). They were brought home by virtual strangers they had only seen pictures of before. They were taken to new places, had new experiences, were given new foods and brought home to a place where everything was foreign. Literally.

During all of these transitions, they have been so brave. I have no doubt that they have been afraid at times - especially at first. I have no doubt they have wondered what is going on at times as they adjust to our new routines. But they have done so well. I almost can't believe it. No, every day is not a fairy tale, and sure, we have our challenges. I'm sure hard days will come and questions will be asked. I'm not living in a dream world over here. However, given all that has happened in these kids' lives in the last year, I am so proud of how they've coped. So proud of how they have handled the change.

God is good. I am thankful every day that he continues to do the work of making us a family. Please continue to pray for our kids as they transition and adjust, and pray that God will strengthen relationships and bonds with them. I am inspired by their bravery, and in awe of our God who is responsible for it all.

"LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done wonderful things,
things planned long ago."

Isaiah 25:1

I Remember

2011-03-19T21:01:00.016-05:00

Even as I write this post, I am uncertain if this story is for your eyes. This part of my life is one of the most painful, vulnerable parts, and I've never really shared in a public way like this. This writing is therapeutic for me, a part of my healing I think. This post has nothing to do with adoption, but has everything to do with my family. God has taught me his greatest lessons through the conceiving, birthing, adopting, and raising of my children. This story is among those that have had the greatest impact on my life.

Fourteen years ago, God gave Nathan and I the great blessing of identical twin baby boys....Nathanael and Hayden. I am humbled at how he chose to trust us with their lives, and use us to be part of their story. These precious boys were born at 7:35 and 7:37 pm on March 19, 1997. Their birth was 10 weeks early and they were both tiny little things. Upon their arrival, Nathanael had already left us...he had gone home to be with Jesus. He weighed just 2 lbs. 2 oz. Hayden arrived shortly after, weighing in at 2 lbs. 10 oz. I remember lying still during the C-section, waiting and willing him to cry...knowing that if he did it was a good sign. He did make a small sound, and I breathed a sigh of relief and said a prayer that God would protect this tiny child.

I don't speak openly of this story often for many reasons. The first being that it's just too painful. It's too hard to verbalize this kind of loss and how it still takes my breath away 14 years later. It's too hard to watch people's unsure reactions, and their own discomfort as they search for how to react. But also, in large part, because it has seemed unfair to Hayden to share this story about his birth. Like somehow it takes from the joy of his day to also speak of the great loss that occurred simultaneously. March 19 is a bittersweet day. One that never leaves me feeling myself. A day of great loss, yes, but also a day of great celebrating. As the years go by, the loss becomes less raw, and maybe that's what is moving me to talk about it. The loss isn't less real, but certainly not as fresh as it once was.

We are beyond grateful that God spared Hayden that day. Because of the circumstances that surrounded his birth, we were told by the neonatologist that we were fortunate he had survived, and there was a good chance he'd been in shock and would suffer with cerebral palsy. It was a scary time, and I continued to watch his development for years to come, waiting to find evidence of his early birth and slow development. I am grateful to report that Hayden is and always has been healthy. Praise God.

As I remember back fourteen years, it's amazing at how it all rushes back if I allow myself to reminisce for long. I remember the emotions, the smells, and the sight of our sweet boys. I remember the days following and not knowing how to feel or even where to be most of the time - with Haley at home, with Hayden at the hospital, or grieving the profound loss we were experiencing. It was confusing and overwhelming. I remember getting up in the night to call the night nurse to see if Hayden had gained even a few grams of weight. I remember the many, many people who came to help - bringing us a meal or sitting at our house while Haley slept so we could be at the hospital. I remember the cards and the prayers, and will never again underestimate what those things can mean to someone else. Years later, I still remember Nathanael by occasionally bringing out the few things we have to remember him by - a blanket, an outfit, pictures, and a book of thoughts and memories. I close my eyes and remember those few moments we had with him.

But most of all I remember this - God shows up. He shows up when you are hurting. He shows up when you are overwhelmed and aren't sure things will ever feel normal again. He meets you where you are and walks you through the valleys. I remember sharing with a friend a few years after the boys' birth that the greatest blessing of this experience was that I knew what it was to be truly carried by God. And years later, I would agree. God used this joy and loss for my good. He used it to teach me to trust him in a deeper way. He used it to grow my faith and prepare me for his plan for my life. And for that I am grateful.

During this experience, I found this verse and it became the verse I clung to:

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.
Lamentations 3:32

His love IS unfailing. It was through this experience that God made this real to me. Of course, I would have never chosen this part of the path for my life, and yet I know it was an important one. So, today, we celebrate our boys. We thank God that he allowed us to raise Hayden in our home, and look forward to being in heaven with Nathanael one day. We praise him for the lessons learned and his presence in our lives. And we remember that through it all his love is real and will not fail us, in joy or sorrow.

Happy Birthday, Hayden!
We love you!

Hits Me at the Strangest Times

2011-03-17T15:02:00.005-05:00

Some days we are so busy, I don't really stop and take the time to evaluate how we're all doing. Now, of course, I know who has immediate needs, who has 'owies', who is crying, who is squabbling with a sibling, etc. But I mean how we are really doing. How we are coming together as a family.

Yesterday, I was reading a blog post by a sweet family who just made their first trip to Ethiopia to meet their three new children. The mom was describing leaving her new children on the last visit of that trip, and her son's final good-bye (who we met, and is precious!). You can read that post HERE. The image of this mother leaving her kids in Ethiopia....and of us leaving our kids at the Transition Home to come home without them brought tears to my eyes. My heart was so pierced at the thought of being separated from my kids.

Then, it hit me. It hit me that while it was difficult for me to leave my children between trips for a time back in December, how much harder it would even be now. You see, it's happening. God is weaving us together as a family. God is teaching us how to love these kids, and teaching them how to trust us. He is revealing things to us about one another. No, everything revealed isn't lollipops and roses...but it's real. I won't tell you that 'we've arrived' - that the weaving is complete, and that we have it all figured out. A month into this, we have a long way to go. But, I'm grateful that as we learn and grow as a family, God is in charge of the weaving. Thanks be to him!

In the interest of keepin' it real...

2011-03-09T21:13:00.002-06:00

Sooo...my last post was about how we are doing...and the verdict is that we're doing pretty well. Before I dive into this next post, let me reassure you that we still are - overall - doing well. However, I feel like it would be a disservice to 'dress it up' and not also share some of the hard things. Today was a day, and so some of the hard things are fresh in my mind.

Appointments. I'm sick of them. I don't want to take another kid to the doctor - like ever. Bringing home three new ones at a time = much time at the clinic. (We'll be there the next two days, though, so my wish is not to be granted).
Collecting poop. That's probably all I really need to say about that.
Learning to manage the day to day life with 3 new ones (and 1 'old' young one) who need a lot of you.
Feeling torn - torn between my daily life, meeting the needs of little ones, running a household, my hubby, and 3 big kids who I still want to spend time with. Sometimes feeling like I'm not doing any of it well.
Four children in carseats....time consuming and tedious.
Forgetfulness - I'm not sure I'll ever remember anything again - my memory wasn't good to start with!
Time outs, spills, kids not sharing, and all other, umm....'joys'...that come from having little ones.

It may sound as though I'm whining...and well, maybe I am a little bit. I'm allowed every now and then...right?? (OK, so I'm really not, but sometimes I do it anyway.) In all honesty, we are doing well - some days are just hard with four little ones. Doesn't seem like it's fair to portray it any other way. Tomorrow is a new day - and I'm actually looking forward to it. Better get to bed and rest up though - it promises not to be boring with this crew!

So how are we doing...really??

2011-03-04T14:03:00.012-06:00

Here we all are, ready for our first trip to church. Not an award winning photo, but we're all in it, and we're all looking the right direction!

We've been home for almost 2 weeks now, and I find my curious friends wondering just exactly how is it going? What does the day to day look like...are we overwhelmed...are we sleeping, etc. Well, the short answer is we really are doing well. Much better than I expected. I mean, I was hoping we weren't going to be a total wreck all of the time, but I had prepared myself for our share of bumps in the road.

We have found ourselves in a day to day routine that is predictable and seems to be working for us. (For those of you bored by the mundane, you can skip this post. :) Solomon is the first to rise (wish Teenage Baby could teach him to sleep in), usually around 6. I shower before the rest of the crew is up, and at 6:30, I allow the girls to get up. They are awake before this, but they know to stay in their room until I come to get them...usually they are making their beds and folding blankets when I go into get them. (They have been taught to make beds and fold their pajamas at the end of the bed when they get up...I'm considering having them hold a class on how to do this for my other kids!) They dress into the clothes we put out the night before, and head downstairs for breakfast or to play until it's ready. (Or follow one of us around, which happens often as well). I dress Solomon, and either take him downstairs or a big kid takes him for us. I'd love to tell you that I'm now making a wonderful, hot breakfast, but the reality is, that just ain't happening. My big kids have been amazing to help with the kids and their breakfast, they all pitch in to be sure everyone is fed. Then, it's off in our big van to take the big kids to school.

Our mornings are spent in a variety of ways...playing at home, maybe running an errand (yes, I've taken them all the grocery store!), doctor appointments, and even spending a morning at our church's indoor playground. The time passes quickly, we have an early lunch, and the boys nap by 12:30 to be up in time to pick the big kids up from school. The girls have been having some quiet time with books or resting in their room in the afternoon. (I may need this more than they do, but we are doing it nonetheless!) Around 2:30 or 2:40ish we leave to go pick the big kids up from school and then come home for a snack and playtime. We spend playtime playing play-dough, reading stories, playing 'letter games' on the computer, and recently jumping on the trampoline and going outside. Then, it's dinner, family time, and a bedtime routine.

Aleigha and Grace busy working!

Grace is eager to please and eager to learn. She is concerned with her younger siblings, and a natural caretaker. We are working towards letting her know that we will meet everyone's needs (she doesn't seem overly anxious about it, mostly eager to please), and we want her to relax and rest in the fact that her siblings aren't her responsibility. Grace has a sweet disposition, but is definitely able to let you know if she is unhappy about something. She tends towards the dramatic and expressive, and it will be interesting to watch this come to life as we get to know her better.

Aleigha is fun-loving and giggly most of the time....she often looks like she is on the verge of cracking up. She is usually quieter, but mostly just until she is comfortable in a situation. When the girls are playing or singing together (and there is no one new around), she's definitely out of her shell. She also is eager to learn and loves to sit and play a game (although there may or may not be a little cheating going on), color, and work on learning her letters. She tends to not be quite as serious about things as Grace, and loves to have a good time.

The girls are both picking up a little language, and it's fun to hear them try to use their words. We're glad they feel safe enough to try! You will often hear them walking around just repeating what they've learned. It goes a little something like this (in the cutest Ethiopian accent you can imagine): "Are you OK? I'm OK? How are you? Good. Fine. It's OK. Come. Are you OK? Yes. Good." and so on... They are so proud of their English words, and we are amazed at what they understand already!

Who could resist that smile and those eyes??

Sweet Solomon is definitely the baby of the family. He seems so young in comparison to Elijah's teenage ways. It's evident that he's spent his time with babies, and that his needs were well met. (He has no problem expressing them, and seems to expect that they will be met!) We love his giggles and smiles. He loves the be held and the boy can eat. He's had some 'intestinal issues', and we think his over interest in food comes from a combination of those issues, eating for comfort and security, and habits he's developed. We actually already see some improvement in this area, but he still loves to chow. He's a decent sleeper (does not get up in the night), although he gets up a little early for this needs-her-sleep mama. Elijah was not sure what to think about him at first, and was a little rough with Solomon. (He's just a rougher kid than Solomon anyway). That seems to be improving, and seems to view Solomon as a baby, and is learning to be a kinder, gentler version of himself.

So, that's us for now. Maybe not super exciting, but that's perfectly fine with me! We have a long way to go in truly getting to know each other, but we are enjoying the ride this far. We're so glad our kids are all home - what a blessing!

Move

2011-03-02T12:43:00.007-06:00

As I sit in my living room this afternoon, my house is peaceful and I have a few moments to think. The 3 bigs are in school, the little boys are sleeping, and I have two girls coloring at my feet. As I sit and reflect, and watch these girls in my home, I am overcome. Overcome with gratitude that God brought these children into my home. Overcome that despite my many flaws and shortcomings, he saw fit to use me in their story and become their mama. How on earth did I ever get so blessed?

I also can't help but reflect on the many children left behind. (You knew this post was coming, right? The 'how can I leave them behind' post? The 'why aren't we doing more' post? It comes every time the images are raw from our travel to Ethiopia.) I can't shake it. I can't get them out of my mind. Five million orphans in Ethiopia alone. And I ask the question once again - where is everyone? Why aren't we doing more? Why is this OK with us? Why is it OK for us to be moved by a story, become teary during a video or song, and then move on with our lives?

This post is not about judgment. It's not about judging you or what you are or aren't doing...it's just a question that haunts me, and confuses me. Here's the thing - I don't care whether you adopt from Ethiopia or not...I just want for the body of Christ to be enough for these children. I want everyone...you...me... to be doing something. Something to care for these vulnerable children and orphans...and here's the clincher: So does God. He commands us to care for the orphan. I don't know what each person's role will be... but I do know this - God has a role for each one. He has a role for you. He has a role for me. We are all to play a part. It's not enough to feel compassion towards the cause or weep at a gotcha day video...God wants us to move. And if this were your child, you would want someone else to move on their behalf, too. These children are waiting on our obedience. For us to move in the way he has already commanded. Their futures depend on it.

"But Samuel replied, "What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Obedience is far better than sacrifice. Listening to him is much better than offering the fat of rams."

1 Samuel 15:22

HOME

2011-02-26T12:28:00.006-06:00

Well, since I've blogged, we've traveled approximately 16,000 miles half-way around the world to bring our kiddos home. As you can imagine, time has slipped away, and I haven't been the good blogger I intended to be! We are HOME now, which is a wonderful thing to say. We always love our time in Ethiopia, but nothing is sweeter than home.

The kids traveled like champs and are doing so well at home. Things are going much more smoothly than I had prepared myself for....we've truly been blessed by sweet kids. They are affectionate and loving, and try their best to go with the flow and do what is expected. We are loving getting to know them better. There are, of course, hard things, but all of it is to be expected. The language barrier is our biggest challenge, and it's just hard to parent children when they don't understand what you are explaining....or they can't tell you why they are upset. These are obviously things we knew going into this, and will get better with time. Sleep is another issue we know will resolve itself over time.

I will post more about our transition in time (I think - if I ever have any time!), but for now, enjoy the pics of our sweet kids!

Aleigha and Grace...got all dressed up to go to Hayden's b-ball game...so sweet!

Elijah cheesing it up with Solomon....if Solomon looks a little nervous, it's for good reason....

Hold still...this will only hurt for a minute!

Grace, enjoying a beautiful day at a park in Addis Ababa.

Sweet Solomon.

Aleigha...pretty girl.

We are so blessed to call these children our own.
To God be the glory!

Never The Same

2011-02-11T14:00:00.004-06:00

It's here...it's here!! The time has come for us to bring our children HOME. I can hardly believe it as I type these words! You know how sometimes you plan for something for so long that it doesn't feel real? At times, that's exactly how this felt. But, as I pack their little backpacks, and their clothes in the suitcase - it hits me. Things will never be the same.

We are no longer the Garrison 6. We are now the Garrison 9! Three children are no longer orphans, but that have a mommy, a daddy, and four new siblings waiting for them. They have a home. A family. Our at-home children are watching God redeem three precious lives before their eyes....no,things will never be the same....and that is good.

Yes, we'll have more laundry, more mess, and more noise. But, we'll also have more hugs, more love, and more blessings. As I write this post and ponder that this day really is here, my heart fills with gratitude. Gratitude that God would see fit to use our family as a part of his redemptive act. I don't understand his grace, but it is good.

"From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another."
John 1:16

WOO HOO!!!!

2011-02-08T16:44:00.005-06:00

We were cleared by the embassy for travel yesterday!!! We were shocked, since we were only submitted last Wednesday. Shocked, but of course, thrilled! They gave us our choice of days next week to appear at the embassy (in Ethiopia) and so....we'll be on our way SOON!

Our plan is for Nathan, Haley and I to fly out of Indy on Saturday afternoon, spend the night in DC, and then take a direct flight from DC to Addis on Sunday (arriving on Monday morning). So, in less than ONE WEEK, I will have have these babies in my arms!! We should be home next Saturday (the 19th). (That feels so good to say!!) All of my children under ONE roof!

We would appreciate your prayers for safe travel, health (no altitude sickness - yuck!), and most importantly for our kids' hearts as their world is about to change...pray that they won't be afraid, and that their little hearts will be able to endure the transition.

So, it's an exciting time around the Garrison household! We are grateful to be at this point, and so close to bringing our children HOME!

Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness!

Psalm 150:1,2

Emotionally Schizophrenic

2011-02-03T19:03:00.006-06:00

OK, so that's probably not really an actual term....and hopefully it's not insensitive, but that describes a bit of how I feel lately. I am all over the place with my emotions, and honestly, without even 'cleaning it up' for blogland, I can say that overall I have a sense of peace about the upcoming changes to our family. It's just that....well....it's big.

I am at peace...and yet I am anxious.

I am confident...and yet I am afraid.

I am excited...and yet I flinch at the changes to come.

I'm attempting to surrender my life...and yet I am selfish.

I am not in control...and yet I try to be.
(Believe me, I've tried this one...not only is it impossible, it's painful to try)

I want you all to understand - this fluctuation of emotions has nothing to do with my desire to be these children's mommy. It's just real. Most of the time, we just focus on the 'I'm so excited to bring my kids home' emotions. But there are also the 'what are we doing to our life' emotions to contend with. The truth is, we are changing everything about our lives. There are many things I am excited for...so many firsts, so many new experiences with our kids, watching them learn and grow, and even comforting their little hearts. However, the unknown is scary and surrender sometimes means letting go of all that is comfortable. Selfishness creeps in and I think of the ways my life will change.

So, I'm busy sorting out my emotions, packing my bags, and praying for embassy clearance. Because I do want my kids to come home. I miss them and want them here - even if it's hard. The emotions, I know are normal. And probably even good. And I know that God will see us through the hard days and bring blessing we can't imagine through it all.

Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.
Psalm 115:1

All Good News

2011-02-02T22:25:00.005-06:00

We got an update on our kids this week! They are all doing well, and we are so fortunate that they've been healthy. They are reportedly looking forward to our arrival to bring them home! We, too, are looking forward to that day! Here are a few little tidbits about them from our updates:

Grace: Fast learner with a good attention span, caring, happy, and sometimes quiet.

Aleigha: Confident, happy, relaxed, and 'so loving in her personality'.

Solomon: Cheerful, big smiles, happy, imitates others, and good physical development.

In other good news, our paperwork was submitted to the US Embassy this week!!! This is huge, because it's the last hurdle before we can bring our kids home. We are waiting on their approval of the case, and we will travel right away! We hope to hear of our approval by next Friday! We'll keep you posted!!

Preparing, Waiting....and More Waiting

2011-01-30T22:09:00.002-06:00

I keep thinking I'm going to update the blog when I have some definite news! While that hasn't happened (getting definite news, that is)....I thought I would check in and let you know what we've been up to.

We are currently waiting on all of our paperwork to be completed (come on, M*WA!) so that we can be submitted to the US Embassy for clearance (meaning they've checked out all of paperwork and say that everything looks good to issue our kids' visas). We are hoping and praying that all will be in place so that we can be submitted this Wednesday. (Would you pray for that, please??) If that happens, we will then be - you guessed it - waiting again to be cleared by the embassy. They tell us they will let our agency know when/if we are cleared 7-10 days after submission. Here's the good part....it's seeming that when you are cleared by the embassy to travel, you can pretty much come right away...have an appointment possibly the next week, get your kids' visas, and bring them home!!

So, it's kind of difficult to plan for a trip when you don't know when you'll be going. We are preparing and planning for the earliest possible date we think it could be, while trying to prepare our hearts that we may have to wait longer. It's not an easy task.

We are keeping busy around here organizing and planning for our kids to come home...we've done some work in the basement and are creating a play area for the kids. I'm working on some things I've needed to get done, and know I won't for a while once Grace, Aleigha, and Solomon come home. There is no way I'll get to all of them, but I'm enjoying the motivation I have to at least accomplish a few things on my list!

I'm afraid this is a bit of a boring post. We'd love to have big announcements, plane tickets purchased, and be jetting off to get our kids. For now, I'm focusing on enjoying our life at home...the last days of being a family of six. Things will never be the same again, and although we are excited about the change, there is something sweet about these days, too.

PLEASE WATCH

2011-01-15T15:51:00.005-06:00

Wow. I've seen this video once before and....well, WOW. Please watch....it is only 8 minutes long, is so worth the watch.

"Remember, you call yourself my body. I'm not there, except through you. Your hands...those are my hands. Your feet....those are my feet. That heart...it's my heart. If it's not beating, my heart isn't beating on this earth anymore. I work through my body - I am a father to the fatherless through my body. I rescue the weak and the vulnerable through YOU. If you're not doing it, no one is."

SURPRISE!!!

2011-01-13T10:58:00.000-06:00

We were beyond thrilled to get a surprise call that WE PASSED COURT today! We did not have a court date today, but somehow all of the pieces fell into place and we are so blessed!! Enjoy the pics of our kids....thanks to all who prayed!!!

OUR KIDS ARE COMING HOME!!!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Not what we wanted to report...

2011-01-11T13:10:00.004-06:00

We did not pass court again today. Our MOWA letter still was not written and in our file, so the judge cannot pass us through. One paper separating us from our kids. (Although, unfortunately, there is actually more US embassy paperwork after this).

I realize what my reaction is supposed to be....'God has a plan...in his timing...trusting in him'. Well, I know those things are true, and I am trusting in him. (Thank goodness....how do people make it through things in their life without him???) I know he has the perfect time for our kids to come home and that things will happen in his time. But today, I don't want to talk about it. I'm just sad. My kids are on another continent and we are being kept apart by a piece of paper. All of this is delaying our bringing them home.

Sooo.....we wait for another court date. Hopefully the judge will assign it sometime this week and the date will be in the next week or so. Who knows. We'll keep you posted.

No news is....well, not good news

2011-01-10T15:45:00.001-06:00

We heard from our agency today regarding court. The only problem was...there was nothing to tell. They still have not been able to get in to see the judge and see if our MOWA letter has been written. I guess the only good thing about this news was it was better than being told our letter definitely wasn't there and we had to wait for another court date.

As I understand it, there are two things that can happen from here:

We could be called (hopefully later this week) and be told that our MOWA letter is in place and we have passed through court, or will very soon.
OR - If our letter is not there, we will most likely be assigned another court date, and will wait to see if MOWA has our letter in place by then for us to pass. (Surely....right?)

That's it. We are hoping to know more this week, but there's really no news as of now. Hoping, praying, and crossing our fingers and toes (I know this is getting serious, right?) that we'll have good news and can post pictures of our kids later this week.

Stay tuned!

Happy Birthday, Teenage Baby!!

2011-01-06T09:49:00.017-06:00

Happy Birthday to Elijah, my teenage baby!! As we celebrate his 14th....er, I mean 2nd birthday, I thought it would be fun to share some pictures from the past year (in no particular order!)

Did you need something??

Sending an email to my peeps.

What are you crying about? Big baby. (he says to his new little brother, S)

Who is up for playin' hoops? I just need to bring my blanky.

Yeah, I like chocolate....so what?

Need some help with that?

A day's work never ends...

The ladies love me.

Can't you see I'm busy?

We love you, Teenage Baby! You bring laughter and joy to our home every day and we are so blessed to call you ours!!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Elijah!!

Something Bigger than Me

2011-01-05T17:27:00.003-06:00

About 7 years ago, I was a stay-at-home mom and found myself feeling discontent...not with my situation or material blessings, but with the feeling of wanting to do more with my life. I had no idea what that 'thing' might be at the time, but I began praying a prayer....I asked God to do something so big in my life...so big that others would realize that whatever it was could only be done through HIM, and not by myself alone. I had felt this urgency that God had something else for our lives, and I so wanted him to reveal his plan to me.

Fast forward to a year later...my 3 'big' kids were all old enough to be in school, and I went back to teaching at a Christian school. This was a good plan, and I was excited about it, but it still didn't feel like 'it', you know what I mean? I felt purposeful with my days, loved getting to know my students, and appreciated the opportunity to be at the same school my kids were at. It was a pretty good set up, really. I continued praying the same prayer, and wondered if I was just being discontent, or if there really was something else God had for me to do.

We started our first adoption journey in May 2008. At first, it honestly didn't occur to me that this might be a piece of the puzzle to the prayer I had prayed off and on for almost 5 years (I know, I'm a little slow, right?) As we took a step of faith to adopt from Ethiopia, it did feel...well, big. So many questions....what about my job...how will we pay for this...is it fair to our kids to ask them to give things up in order for us to adopt...how will this affect our family...and all of the 'what ifs' that come in an unknown situation. Over time, I did begin to feel like that was our ' big thing'.

And it was. But it was really only the first step in a bigger thing I could never have imagined at the time. (I was never going to be the woman with 7 kids....although I'm so glad I am!) And now that we are in our second adoption, waiting to bring THREE kids home....I will tell you - I know FOR SURE - that this is the big thing I asked God to do through me. This is what the discontent was about...He did have something for us to do, and it took 5 years of asking him to show me what it was - but this is it. And, I'm so grateful.

I still have discontent. I was speaking with a friend today about holy discontent. It's not the kind of discontent that comes from being unhappy with one's circumstances... (Are you kidding me - I just got home from Ethiopia!) I don't want the latest gadget, a new outfit, or a different house. I want to be used. Holy discontent is good, and I want to sit with it and let my heart be open to whatever God has next.

It feels good to have the answer to my prayer many years ago. But I also know it's not the only answer, and it's not the end. There is more for me to do, and I'm keeping my heart open for the next answer...whenever that may come.

Court Date #2....Not Happening

2011-01-03T14:47:00.003-06:00

Court date #2 was scheduled for tomorrow, January 4. We received word today that it's a no-go. UGH. The judge (who hears all adoption cases in Ethiopia) has decided to take a vacation this week due to Ethiopian Christmas.

We are bummed to say the least... We've been told that our agency will check into whether or not MOWA had written the letter for our court case tomorrow. If it was written, our agency will try to push our court case through for approval without have to wait for another scheduled date. If our letter was not written, we will have to wait to be assigned another court date.

I guess I probably don't need to tell you that this is hard. So, I won't whine about it, because I'm guessing you can imagine. Please just pray for that letter to be in place and either for court approval next week or a speedy new date.

Thanks for walking this with us!

Hoping for Orphans in 2011

2010-12-31T21:40:00.002-06:00

Ethiopian Orphans from Simon Scionka on Vimeo.

I have a confession to make. When we first started the adoption process the first time, I felt like my eyes had been opened and I realized something that surely everyone would see. I started this blog, feeling purposeful about wanting to educate others on what I was learning. I shared blog links, videos, stories, scripture, etc. and was just sure that God was going to move in mighty ways in the people around me. I just knew that when others saw these same things, they would be moved to adopt or care for orphans, too.

Things have not exactly happened the way that my mind imagined them. It has been hard to feel like we've made a difference at all. Over time, I've felt pointless in posting things I've found about the orphan, because, well.... it just feels redundant and like maybe no one is listening.

I don't make New Year's resolutions... they generally don't last and are made in an emotional moment of wishing for change. However, I am going to refresh my sense of purpose for the orphan. I don't know if anyone is listening, or will appreciate the things that I post. But....after much soul searching on this topic, I've come to realize (again), that that part isn't my job. I can't control how others respond or how God will work in their hearts. I can, however, be a voice for the orphan. I can continue to tell their stories and help us all not to forget.

I am praying that God will do amazing things in 2011 for the orphan. I am praying that some of you who are reading this right now will be moved to adopt at least one orphan and give them a home. I am praying that God, who tells us he is the defender of the orphan, will move on their behalf....but I also know that it is through you and I that God will move. His scripture is clear about caring for the orphan. He commands us to do it. No, that doesn't mean all should adopt...for some he has other plans. However, for some of you it does. You'll have to sort that out yourself.

So, here is hoping for the orphan in 2011. May we all ask God (I mean, really ask him) what it is he has for us to do. And may we listen when we hear him.

"The helpless put their trust in You. You are the defender of orphans Lord; You know the hopes of the helpless. Surely You will listen to their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so people can no longer terrify them.”
Psalm 10:17-18

Home, Court Date #2, and Wrestling

2010-12-30T15:44:00.005-06:00

We're home! We arrived home on Tuesday evening after an exhausting, but uneventful trip home. While we were all a bit sad to leave Ethiopia, we were glad to be home. I missed iced tea, salads, hot baths, and my bed. :) It felt good to come home and enjoy them all!

Now, though, I am missing something much more important....my kids. It was hard to leave them on the last day, and now that we are home it's hard to have them on a different continent. Our next court date is this Tuesday (January 4), and we would appreciate your prayers that our MOWA letter will be there so we can pass court!! The next step after that is for all of our paperwork to be submitted to the US Embassy and be assigned an embassy appointment...that is when we go get our kids!

I am currently sitting in that hard place of having just come home and seen some hard things with my own eyes. I felt the same way when we came home from Ethiopia the first time....and I know many others have experienced this after mission trips. It's hard to know exactly what to do with how I feel....I have seen children who need families - I have hugged them, spent time with them, and watched my kids interact with them. I have this overwhelming desire to make people aware - to make people want to take action and be part of the solution for them....to impart urgency on others so they will act. I want others to realize that these kids are real. However, I know that the risk in attempting this is to sound preachy, righteous, or judgmental, and that is not my heart - it does not bring glory to God, or move others to action (that is His job anyway). In the end, it does not help these kids. So, I wrestle. I will pray that God will use our story in His own way to move others and I will keep my eyes on my own journey.

Once we pass court, I will be able to publicly share pictures of our new kids - hopefully next week! We'll be sure to keep you posted as soon as we know anything!

Update from Addis!

2010-12-26T09:52:00.002-06:00

Greetings from Addis Ababa! Yes, we've been here a week and I've failed to update my blog...we just haven't had time and I've had a difficult time getting into my email to post! So sorry!

We've had a great time this week. I was sick the first couple of days, but that subsided by Tuesday morning and we've all been great ever since. We met the kids on Sunday afternoon and have spent time with them every day, with the exception of one when we spent the day out in the country. The kids are awesome and we can't wait until we can bring them home! It's funny, we had preconceived ideas of what they might each be like (based upon agency updates, etc.) , and for the most part it's not what we've found. That's not good or bad, just interesting. :)

Grace loves to run, jump, play ball, and do anything active. She wants us to chase her, and sometimes I think is checking just to see if we will. She is excited to see us each day, but is also the first to withdraw. Being the oldest, she must remember the most and sometimes seems guarded. (She could also sometimes be bored with us, though, since we don't speak her language and we've 'used' all of our toys and tricks since we've been here!). Overall, she seems accepting of us and was excited when we showed her pictures of our house and her room.

Aleigha is an affectionate little thing. Super sweet, and the first to seek out attention from us. She is all smiles most of the time and is more content to sit and color or cuddle. She giggles as we play, and loves for us to hug, kiss, or tickle her. She responds well to her new name already and both girls love to play with our older kids.

S*l*m*n is a cutie! Huge eyes and a contagious giggle. I love seeing how attached he is to his nannies and the other kids - he lights up when he sees them. This is all a good sign for future attachment with him when we get home. Elijah loves him, but he is unsure of Elijah. The first day Elijah basically tackled all of the new kids with hugs, and I think it freaked S****** out a little bit. He 's warming up to him, but is still cautious when it comes to getting so close. :) We think they'll be fast friends, though, and they really are darling together.

As you may have heard, we did not pass court on Thursday. We were so disappointed, but not completely surprised. MOWA (Ministry of Women and Children's Affairs of Ethiopia) must submit a letter to court saying that everything is in order for your adoption. They have had a difficult time getting the letters to court on time, as was the case with us on Thursday...it is not a reflection of our particular case and we will get our letter eventually...it's just not ready yet. It's very frustrating, but we pray that we will get a new court date and our letter will be submitted soon. We don't want it to delay our next trip or when we can bring our children home. We'll keep you posted and appreciate the prayers!

Our other four kids are great!! The three biggest kids have been amazing with both the travel and the time spent with our kids and others at the orphanages and transitional home (where our kids are). Elijah has traveled better than we anticipated (even though the other fellow travelers have been introduced to his high pitched screaming)...please continue to pray that our flights home will go well, too!

The kids at the orphanages and especially older kids at the transitional home break your heart....such sweet kids that need homes. I was looking around at all of the kids and thinking about all of the families I knew who could take at least one into their home...we could wipe out the entire population of an orphanage....how cool would that be??!? I know everyone hasn't seen with their eyes what we've seen, but I wish everyone could. There would surely be more children with homes.

More updates and pictures later. We are flying out of Addis on late Monday night (late afternoon your time) and hope to be home by Tuesday night if all goes well. Thanks for following along and praying for our family!!

Wow - It's Here!!

2010-12-15T14:33:00.004-06:00

Wow. Wow. Wow. It's here!! I guess we're really going to Ethiopia!!! The donations have been packed into 4 tubs and one bag, we each have a suitcase and one extra for 'miscellaneous'. It has struck me as we (well, I) have been packing how high maintenance we really are. It takes a lot of 'stuff' (aka crap) to keep this American family happy.....computers, cameras, portable DVD players, iPods, snacks, comfort items (different for each kid), medications, etc. It's a bit ridiculous. However, all 6 of us, and all of our stuff will be making our way to Chicago tomorrow to catch our flight out of here!! We fly out of O'Hare a little after 3 pm for our flight to Frankfurt. After a 4 hour layover, we board our final flight to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We will arrive Saturday evening ET time (they are 9 hours ahead of us).

We've had a few people ask how they can pray for us and we are more than happy to pass on our requests so that you call all be praying with us. These are more in the order of when they occur, not importance....

Please pray for safety and health while we travel.
ELIJAH - I joke that we'd like everyone to pray a 'period of silence' over him as we travel, but seriously....please pray that he will rest well on the plane and travel well. This is going to be a lot for him!
For the time we will spend with our 3 new kids. We are so anxious to meet them and spend a little time with them each day. We are praying that God will use this time to weave our hearts together as a family. We also know that it will be very difficult to leave them since they don't come home this trip (BOOOO!!). Please pray that God will comfort their hearts and give them understanding that we are coming back (and that the time until we can go back will be short).
COURT DATE - This is the reason for our trip.....Please, please pray that we will pass court the first time and that everything will be in place. (some of you may remember we did not pass the first time with Elijah). This is not a judgment on whether or not Nathan and I will be good parents (that was done in our homestudy), but a court date to be sure all of the paperwork, etc. has been done on the child's behalf.
Please pray for a meeting we will have with their birth father. That is sure to be an emotional meeting, and we just want it to go well and to be able to get information from him that we can later share with our children. We would love it if you would just pray for him in general.
For our 3 'big kids'. We are so proud of them and feel like God really wants to use this trip in their lives....to open their eyes, to soften their hearts, and see things thru His eyes. Please pray that this will be a meaningful trip for them.
We are also praying that God will give us opportunities to be a blessing while we are in Ethiopia....in whatever way He puts in front of us. Pray that we will see those opportunities and know how to respond.
Lastly, just that this would be a good time together for us as a family. Travel can sometimes be stressful, and we want to be able to enjoy our time together.

Thank you so much! I will do my best to update periodically from Ethiopia.....For those of you on Facebook, I remember that being a much easier way to post quick updates, so check there!
We appreciate all of you and thank you for your prayers in advance!!

Planning, Preparing, and Updates

2010-12-08T20:40:00.004-06:00

Hellooo.....is anyone still out there??? Probably not, since it's been an entire month since I've updated (or even visited!) this blog. Much has been happening, and it's all good, just keeping me busy!

We leave for Ethiopia next Friday, December 17!! I can't believe it's coming up so quickly, but we have been slowly preparing and will be ready when the time comes. We've been collecting donations for the orphanages, and organizing all that is entailed with taking an international trip with six people! We are very much anticipating meeting Grace, Aleigha, and S*l*m*n (this is his given Ethiopian name, and I can't share it online until after we pass court....Grace and Aleigha are new American first names for the girls (that we have give them), so we can share those). Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the busyness of the trip itself, but it's fun to think about the day we'll see them face to face.

We recently received updates on our kids, so I'll share what those have to say:

GRACE T********

Weight: 45.5 pounds
Height: 108 cm
Eating/health: She eats well. She is healthy.
Development/physical: She has excellent physical development appropriate to her age. She can perform different activities by herself.
Personality/Other Comments: She is content and happy. She has very good behavior. She is harmonious with all the children, and if others hit her or push her she will tell the caretakers. She never hits the children in response to being hit. She obey orders well.
How does she behave in school?
She is focused with a good attention span. She is moderately active and calm.
How does she act when new adults come around?
She is stable and if they approach her she becomes more comfortable.
Does she ever talk about getting a new family?
She has been told that she is getting a new family, and she asked about S*l*m*n too. And along with (Aleigha) B******* she almost always looks at her families’ photograph and has learned to say Mommy and Daddy.
Does she have good relationships with her caretakers? She has good relationships with all caretakers. She gives hugs and is attached depending on how close they are to her.

ALEIGHA B*******

Weight: 39.6 pounds
Height: 99 cm
Eating/Health: She eats well with a good appetite. She is healthy.
Development/Physical: She has progress in her physical development that is appropriate to her age. She can perform different physical activities well.
Personality/Other Comments: She is usually cheerful. Sometimes, she easily break into tears (if other children take her playing materials or hit her during play) and easily gets back to laughing if someone holds her close or if she gets verbal support.
How does she behave in school?
She is a moderate learner and she is becoming more focused.
How does she act when new adults come around?
She is stable, and she can understand the gesture to approach or not.
Does she ever talk about getting a new family?
When care package was sent, she was told that everything was sent from her new Mommy and Daddy. She is very happy and she looks at the family’s pictures often and says Mommy and Daddy.
Does she have good relationships with her caretakers?
She has a very good relationship with her caretakers and those whom she trusts she get along well with and gives hugs, etc.

S*L*M*N T*****

Weight: 24.2 pounds
Height: 75.5 cm
Head Circumference: 49 cm
Eating/health: He is good at taking food. He has been healthy this month.
Development/physical: He has shown progress in his physical development. He can repeat words. He can play well with tools, dolls, etc.
Personality/Other Comments: He is a very happy boy. He is comfortable with all caretakers and any strangers too.
Does he have a special nanny he is very attached to?
He doesn’t have a special nanny. He is attached well to all of them.
What kinds of toys does he like to play with?
He likes to play with most of the car toys. He plays also with all playing materials.
Does he sleep all night without eating in the night?
He will have a bottle fed to him at 4pm at night, and he sleeps all the night without eating, but sometimes if there is a need he may eat.
How does he act around new people?
He is very affectionate, active and likes be held close (hugged). He elicits activities to get attention.
Does he understand when the nannies talk to him? (does he follow directions, try to communicate, etc)? He understands when he called, and tries to call some of the nannies’ names. He can follow directions well.

We love hearing more about our kids, but there is no substitute for getting to know them ourselves. Hold on kids....we're coming SOON!

Why is it OK with us?

2010-11-05T20:34:00.004-05:00

In the past week, we were made aware of some very difficult circumstances in an orphanage in Ethiopia. Families traveling with our adoption agency visited this orphanage while they were in Addis Ababa, and got the word to those of us traveling soon that there were needs and what we could bring to help them. This was the Facebook status of one of the moms traveling with the group:

"A hard start to our day. Visited an orphanage with deplorable conditions, and left in tears. Our group was able to buy 10 crib mattresses (yes, babies are sleeping on the wooden bottoms of the cribs). But they also need massive quantities of diapers...ripped pieces of sheets wrapped around their bottoms and held in place w/ their onesie t-shirts isn't cutting it."

Babies sleeping on the wooden bottoms of cribs, their clothing soiled, and who knows what else. Their caretakers are doing the best with what they have, but they just don't have the supplies or resources to take care of these children properly. This is poverty. It breaks my heart. I don't think you or I can imagine our own children living in these conditions, or how we would feel if they did.

So, why is this OK with us? I'm sure most of us would say it's not, but what are we doing about it?? You see, if we do nothing, it is OK with us. It is far enough removed from our real world that I think we don't allow ourselves to believe it's real. We tell ourselves that 'these kids don't know any different' or convince ourselves that they are somehow different than our own kids. Well....they're not. They are just like your kids, and they deserve better. They deserve to be well cared for, loved, and to have a family.

I know that we would never say that we think these kids deserve less, but we ignore the pleas for help and tell ourselves that we give to other things and have financial responsibilities that won't allow us to give. You don't have to give a lot - but give something. You don't have to do everything - but do something. Don't wait for someone else to do what God is asking you to do.

"When you are harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow, so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. When you beat the olives from your trees, do not go over the branches a second time. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. When you harvest the grapes in your vineyard, do not go over the vines again. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow."
Deuteronomy 24:19-21

COURT DATE!!

2010-10-28T21:29:00.008-05:00

We are thrilled to tell you that WE HAVE A COURT DATE!! Our agency called on Monday to tell us the good news. The big day is December 23!! Christmas in Ethiopia!!

When they first called, I was a bit surprised at the late date, as we were hoping for earlier. While it is hard to wait to meet and hold our kids, this date actually works well for our family....Our kids are all going, and now they won't miss any school. Our oldest will be done with finals, and we will spend a Christmas they will never forget in Africa! We've booked flights and will be leaving on Friday, December 17! We're so excited!

We are fortunate to have had a very sweet family deliver care packages to our kids this week - we are so grateful for the opportunity to send them something...we sent many pictures of our family and home hoping that God will somehow use these things to help make us familiar to them in some small way. We know they can't possibly understand all that is happening or will happen. That's hard. We also sent an outfit for each of them, dolls and candy for the girls, and a toy for the little guy.

It's funny the mixture of emotions it brought to hear another family had spent time with my kids. The first emotion was excitement, and overwhelming gratitude. It felt so good to know that another family had seen them and spent time with them. But, if I'm honest, it also brought some hard emotions. They described S*l*m*n as being unsure and nervous, and while that is a typical reaction of a small child who does not know you, it broke a piece of my heart. You see, he's feeling unsure and I'm not there to comfort him....and in the time until I can bring him home, he will have many moments where he just needs his mama - and I. won't. be there. And the kicker is, he will be unsure of me, too. He's not waiting for me to come get him, and we're going to rock his world. The girls', too. Yes, yes, I know that this is good in the long run....but can you imagine? Can you imagine what they must think? or what they will think when their entire world changes.....again. As I thought about Grace, Aleigha, and S*l*m*n that afternoon, the tears came....and came. I don't want to hear about them in reports from someone else....I want to hold them. I want to be the one who is there. So, I had a mini tantrum....and then I gave it back to God....again.

I know all of the things that you could tell me....God will bring them home in His perfect time...God is with them when I can't be.....this is God's plan, etc. And I believe all of it - I do. But sometimes, I just have to have a tantrum. I must look a little like Elijah does when he throws himself to the ground and screams and cries because he doesn't get his way. Good thing God is patient and understands my heart.

I know that God is using this emotion - the concern, the longing, and the grief to weave these precious children into my heart. And so, I am grateful for even the hard days. He is good and is moving to bring them home. So, we are thanking him for news of a court date, and anxiously awaiting the day when we will hold our kids!

"Stand up and praise the LORD your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting. Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise."
Nehamiah 9:5

Waiting, Grieving, and Promises

2010-10-21T21:51:00.004-05:00

Well, I wish this was an exciting post announcing we had new news or a court date, but that is not that case. We wait, along with many other families, to hear news from the Ethiopian courts that we have a date. We had originally thought we might travel around Thanksgiving, and while that is not impossible, the longer the wait continues the more I wonder if that will be the case. We'll see....God knows and we're trusting that He's got it under control. (and when I begin to freak out, Nathan calmly reminds me of that fact....good thing we aren't both prone to freak-outs!)

I would be lying if I said this hasn't gotten difficult in the last week or so. I'm not exactly surprised that we don't have a court date, but I was hoping to be farther up the list by now. There are families still waiting for dates that have had their referrals since July. I've been praying for them, because that's a long time to know who your children are and not be able to go kiss their little faces.

During the wait, I've spent some time trying to process what this has been like for our children in Ethiopia. I won't go into the specifics of their story, because it's theirs to tell, but they've lost much. Think about it - they've lost parents, everyone else who loved them, their home, routine, language, and everything familiar. How does one recover from loss like that? It's caused me to grieve for their loss and try to anticipate what they'll need as they endure all of the change that's coming their way. It's not small. I am praying that God will give me a compassionate heart towards them and wisdom in my parenting....and I'm praying that He will be the Healer of their hearts and prepare them to accept the love we have to offer. I'm trusting He will.

These are the promises I cling to as I wait for them to come home....He loves my children even more perfectly than I do and wants good things for their lives....He knows the exact day and time that we will meet...and when they will come home. He has placed them in our family, and will give us the strength and grace for even the most difficult of days. Adoption is redemption and it is God's idea.....the same God who created heavens and earth is orchestrating our lives and making us family...

"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"
Jeremiah 32:27

Sweet Spot

2010-10-10T22:08:00.004-05:00

I guess you could say I've been a bit distracted lately....and neglected the blog. (helloooo....is anyone still out there?) We've had a lot of stuff going on since our referral - good stuff - but it's kept me from being very attentive to blogland.

I can hardly believe it's been a month since we received our referral and found out who our precious children are!! We are more and more certain everyday that these are our kids and can't wait to bring them home! Since I last posted, the courts in Ethiopia have opened back up and slowly begun issuing court dates to those families (like us) who are waiting on them. We are still pretty far down on our agency's list to receive a date, so we know it will be a little while before we know when we will travel to Ethiopia for the first time for our court date. We've had lots of people ask us when that will be, and believe me, we'd love to know! All we can do at this point is make a guess - and I'm guessing around Thanksgiving....always hoping for sooner, but trying to prepare ourselves in case it's later. God knows.

Until then, we are busy around here. We've made lots of progress on Emma's new room in the basement and will post pictures as soon as it's done - it's going to be so cute! Once she moves out, we can start to organize the little girls in the room she is currently in. (I can't wait, I've got piles of stuff to be organized in there, and I can't wait to get it all situated....I hate the mess!). S*l*m*n will be sharing with Elijah - and we've done nothing to organize for that yet...we'll get there.
We've begun to research vehicles, which is probably my least favorite part (it would help if the sales guy would ever call us back). I always hate to trade in vehicles, but it's not really optional this time, unless we are planning on strapping a couple of them to the luggage rack. :)

We are finding blessings in the place we are right now. Making the decision to bring our three new kids into our home has put us in a place of total dependence on God. We are depending on Him to provide all that we need....financially, emotionally, and logistically. This is so beyond us that there is no way to even pretend we've got it covered ourselves. Sometimes when we talk about all we need to do or about one more thing we need to pay for (usually costing in the thousands), I almost just have to laugh.

There is something very sweet about being in this place. The only choice we have is to sit back and watch God provide...and He is. We have not had an expense or payment yet that we've not been able to pay, and we've seen His hand in many ways. While it might be my natural inclination to worry about some of this, I can feel God's hand in it and it brings me such peace. (I do have my moments, but overall, He's been so good to me in this area). I love sitting in the sweet spot of watching my God work out all of the details in this crazy journey He's led us on. Imagine the blessings we would have missed had we not listened.

How are we going to do it?

2010-09-19T20:13:00.004-05:00

I have written a couple of blog posts in my mind since we got our referral, but it's been a little crazy here and I've yet to sit down and write them out. Some of them have been reflective, and others more mundane, but I've found that the things people ask us the most are....how are you going to do it?? How are we going to 'do life' with 7 kids? My best response to that right now is to tell you to ask me next year when I've actually done it!! But here are some logistics we are working on....

We are blessed to live in a home that already has 5 bedrooms....so far no one is sharing a room. We are also blessed to have a little unfinished space in the basement that will fairly easily be finished into another bedroom. So - here are the bedroom plans (as we know them now!): The two little boys will share, the two little girls will take Emma's current room and share, Emma will move to the new bedroom in the basement, and Haley and Hayden will stay put. The crazy thing is, I'm not sure we are even going to feel crowded.

Our vehicle situation is a little up in the air. We had planned on waiting for a larger vehicle, but this is no longer an option. Our 7 passenger van will not allow me to take all of the kids for school drop off, activities, etc. We need to get a new vehicle by the time the new kiddos come home. Will you pray with us about this? We are trusting that this will work out, but it wasn't in our original plan (or budget). We are on the lookout for a good deal on a 12 passenger van that is in great shape!

And the rest, well....only by God's grace. He put this in our laps and we are trusting that he has it all worked out. We know he will be faithful to give us grace for each day and wisdom to parent all 7 of our children....we don't want even one to feel left behind.

It's a wonderful thing to sit in a place where you know you can only succeed with God's help. This is not about me, or we'd surely be in trouble. I have no doubt that I am not capable of any of this. But I know who is, and good thing he's in charge.

I am humbled beyond what I could describe in words that God sees fit to use little ole me as part of his plan to redeem these sweet children's lives. (and if he can use me, trust me, he can use anyone!)

To those of you who have been supportive or offered encouraging words, we are so thankful. To those of you who have prayed for us and for our kids, we are even more grateful. We need your support and prayers during this big time of change for our family. For those of you who would like to pray, here are some specific requests:

For our children in Ethiopia. They have lost everything that is familiar (except each other). We pray that they will have a peace and understanding of the situation. We do not want them to feel confused or afraid. We pray that God will begin to prepare their hearts to receive the love we have for them and weave us together as a family.
For our family here. Please pray that God will prepare us in every way for the changes that lie ahead...for our kids at home, and for Nathan and I as parents. Pray that God will continue to give us peace and also wisdom in our parenting.
For provision. We have many expenses ahead of us...changes to the house, a new vehicle, not to mention two trips to Ethiopia and preparing to have three extra children in our home. We are done fundraising, simply because enough is enough...not really because the funds are all there. Please pray that God provides for every need we have....we know he will.
For our travel. We will be traveling with 4 children the first trip, and bringing 3 home the second trip. We are praying that God will silence these children during the trip....oops...did I say that??:) Seriously, we are praying for good travelers and for those who will be sitting near us!!

THANKS FOR PRAYING!

IT'S A.....

2010-09-10T22:24:00.003-05:00

BOY....and a GIRL.....and a GIRL!!!!!

Yes, WE RECEIVED OUR REFERRAL!!!! And yes, you counted correctly, our referral is for THREE precious children. Some of you probably remember that our original request was for two children, but God had other plans....and we are so glad.

On Wednesday of this week we received a phone call from our agency's program director asking us if we would consider a referral 'a little outside of our request'. We had previously communicated to her that it was difficult for us to ask for certain ages and genders, because we really just wanted what God had for our family and to be a family for children who needed one. We had communicated that we were somewhat open - although we never mentioned three children!! Anyway, she went on to tell us about three siblings they wanted to keep together and were looking for a placement for. She told us that as she prayed for these kids, our family's name came to mind and she wanted to give us the opportunity to review their files for our consideration. To say I was shocked would be an understatement!!! We got off the phone agreeing that Nathan and I would talk and pray about it, and I would call her the next day.

After much conversation, prayer, consulting our kids (who were ALL for it), and talking to our social worker, we agreed that we wanted to move forward and review the kids' files. So, we took the next step asking God for either road blocks or open doors according to what He knew was best for these kids and for our family. (So far, only open doors!) Our social worker agreed to approve us for three children (instead of two) and do the necessary paperwork. This is what we anticipated could potentially be the first road block, but far from it. She agreed, and then even phoned back later to tell me what sense she thought this placement made for our family. To say this was a surprise....well, another understatement!!

So, on Thursday, I phoned our agency and told them we were ready to see the file! I was excited, overwhelmed, nervous, humbled, grieving (for their loss), feeling both inadequate and blessed all at the same time. Their pictures came through email.....they are precious. We can't wait to be their parents!! The children are a 1 year old boy, and two girls, 4 and 5. Perfect for our family....a buddy for Elijah and the two girls will have each other. Only God.

I have to share with you one other little detail that was like a little gift to me in the midst of all of this. The night before we got the first phone call, I shared with my girls that I really liked the name S******.... Love the name for a little boy, has a Biblical reference...just like it. Well, when we received our referral, I opened up the file and this little boy has that very. same. name. (can't share names until after we pass court). I couldn't believe it....what are the chances?? It was like God whispering in my ear that He was in the details....and I know He is.

Please pray for our kids....they have lost much and endured more than I can imagine in the last few months. We would appreciate your prayers for their little hearts. We are humbled and amazed that God is using us to be their family. We know the road will be sometimes difficult, but also feel a great peace that these are our kids. Thanks be to God....for this indescribable gift!

AND THE WINNER IS.....

2010-09-06T11:35:00.016-05:00

Jeanene Stephens!
Jeanene will receive a 16 GB iPad!!

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HELPED IN ANY WAY:
selling or purchasing tickets, donating, or helping to get the word out!

Here are all of the tickets.......

And the moolah those tickets generated to help bring our kids home.....
$5750!!!!

Emma helping to mix the tickets before the drawing....

and Elijah eating the winner's ticket.....
(duh...don't they do this in ALL the raffles??)

CONGRATULATIONS, JEANENE!

THANKS EVERYONE FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!

I Could Have Missed This

2010-08-17T18:43:00.007-05:00

One year ago today, we met and fell in love with this sweet boy. I remember it as if it were yesterday, and yet I can't believe we've only had him a year. Time is crazy that way!

As we celebrate a year together, I have been reflecting on the past year and the events that led up to our adoption of Elijah. As I thought of the many things that had to fall into place before he became ours, I panicked as I had this realization: I could have missed it all.

I mean it - I really could have missed it. Nathan and I had talked about international adoption five years before starting the process with Elijah, and came to this conclusion: It was too expensive. It didn't seem to make sense for our family. And, after a little time, it seemed that Emma (our youngest) was getting too old for this to be a very good fit for us anyway. (I crack up at this now, because she was probably all of five!!)

So, we moved on...our kids all went to school....I went back to teaching...and we kind of forgot the whole thing. I mean, I was still stirred when I heard other people's adoption stories, and I always thought it was a great thing to do, but we had already decided it wasn't for us, right?

Well, fast forward to Spring 2008. I can't pinpoint one experience or idea that is alone responsible for the stirring in my heart, but suffice it to say that God would not leave me alone about the idea of adopting. It was everywhere I turned. I found myself teary at videos and stories, and ran into people everywhere who were in the midst of or who had adopted. And here's the biggie: As I turned to scripture to see what it had to say about orphans, the message was unmistakable:

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely in families." Psalm 68:5,6

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. "
James 1:27

"He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so it went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" declares the Lord. Jeremiah 22:16

"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows." Isaiah 1:17

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."
James 1:22

As I continued to research the plight of the orphan, these statistics would not leave my mind:

There are 147 MILLION orphans in the world.

If you gathered all of these children together in one location, they would make up the world's eighth largest nation. Think of it, an entire nation of fatherless children.

If you lined these children up shoulder to shoulder (1700 per mile), in one long line, that line of precious children would be long enough to circle the globe more than three times. (CAN YOU IMAGINE??)

Here's the kicker: If only 7% of the 2 Billion Christians would adopt/care for a single orphan, there would essentially be no such thing as an orphan crisis.

Are you kidding me - 7% ??? To eliminate the orphan crisis? Doesn't it seem so simple, if the church would be the answer to caring for the orphan??

I recently also found a list of all of the reasons that adopting did not make sense for our family.....we didn't have the money, I had gone back to work, we wondered how this would affect our children, our kids were getting older, we wondered if we could afford another child, etc. The list of reasons that this just wasn't practical was long.

So, you see....I could have missed it. I could have missed out on being this sweet boy's mom and all of the blessings that come with it. It brings tears to my eyes just to think of it.

And then I think of those of you who may be wrestling with some of the same thoughts and fears that we did before we decided to 'take the plunge'. And I pray that if God is calling you to it, you won't miss it. You cannot fathom the blessing on the other side...the blessing of faith grown because you've depended on God for the strength to get thru the process, the money to pay for it, and His grace to weave your family together. The blessing of a life redeemed thru adoption, and the blessing of being the one He uses to play a part in that. The blessing of another child (or children) to call you mommy or daddy and find their security in your arms.

I'm grateful beyond what I could express that I didn't miss it, for the lessons He's taught me thru adoption, and for this sweet child of mine.

WARNING: Ramblings from an emotional mom...

2010-07-30T20:46:00.004-05:00

So, things are changing around here....meaning, my kids are growing up. I guess things are always changing, but at times it seems more noticeable or visible than others. To start, our oldest (Haley, 14) was gone this week to CIY (Christ in Youth) conference. I was so glad that she had the opportunity to go, and am so grateful for the many volunteers that spent their week with 140 teenagers from our church who made the trip. As I dropped her off, I really couldn't believe I was there. Have you had those moments?...those moments where it hits you that your children really are THAT old and are growing up THAT quickly?? I looked around at the other kids going on the trip...yep, they were teenagers. They seemed so grown up. I glanced back at Haley ...yep, she was looking pretty grown up, too.

I remember when my children were little, older women would stop to talk to them and remind me of how quickly the time would pass, and how I should enjoy every moment. I believed them as much as I could, and I tried to soak in the moments. But, they were right. Time passes too quickly. I mean, I feel like I just dropped Haley off at her first day of pre-school, and now she is in high school. It's crazy to me. Four more years until 18...? Doesn't seem possible.

My other two 'big kids', Hayden and Emma, are going to middle school this year. We homeschooled last year, but all three big kids are returning to school. I am having mixed feelings about this, too. I really did enjoy having my kids home. I enjoy them as people and loved the conversations about all of the 'good stuff' we had...faith, life decisions, relationships, etc. I will treasure the year we spent together getting to know each other on a deeper level, and adjusting to our new family dynamics once Elijah was home. It was a special time and there is a part of me that wishes it hadn't been so short. This is the right decision for our family, but I'm just going to miss having them around.

I am beyond grateful for the four children God has blessed us with. I could not be prouder of who they are becoming...their faith, maturity, and responsibility. Being home with them this past year gave me a very real sense of who they are, and what they believe in. It also showed me that they know who they are, too. So, you see, my sadness has nothing to do with regret or worry...it has everything to do with how I love these kids and cherish my time with them. It's just going a little quickly for me.

And then there is Ethiopia....my heart skips a beat even at the thought. Somewhere in Ethiopia I have two more children...children I long to bring home. Children I think of every day and pray that they are safe and have all that they need. Children I know are most likely experiencing a difficult season in their life - one of loss, grief, and hardship. I pray that God will hold them close and comfort them through whatever difficulty is happening that will bring them into our family. Adoption always begins with a loss...that is a very difficult, but very real reality. I want them to know we are waiting for them, and that while we can't take away the hardship they've faced, we want to love them and give them a forever family.

Parenting is hard, isn't it? It's the greatest joy of my life, the thing that has taught me the most, and the hardest thing I've ever done. So far, I am finding the most difficult thing for me is letting go. Of course not ever completely, but releasing just enough at just the right times so that they have that balance of achieving independence all while knowing you are still there. I sometimes have to fight to let go just the right amount and not hold on too tightly.

I am grateful for a God who loves these children more perfectly than I ever could. I am trusting Him as they navigate new schools, make new friends, and take the next step in growing up. I am grateful that I can trust Him with my kids half way around the world, and know He is working on their behalf to bring them home...just as He did with Elijah. I am grateful that He is there even when I cannot be. I am thankful that they are His children first...and filled with gratitude that He saw fit to make me their mom.

Will you say YES....?

2010-07-25T17:33:00.004-05:00

I found this video on a friend's blog, and had to repost....will YOU say YES...?

We like progress!!

2010-07-17T22:11:00.006-05:00

Well, this was a week of adoption progress, and that certainly felt good!
We were able to send our dossier to our family coordinator at AWAA to be approved last week! She reviews dossiers on Monday, so we overnighted it on Thursday to be sure it would be there on Friday, in time to be reviewed on Monday. We are hoping that everything will look fine, and it will be authenticated and then sent on to Ethiopia! It feels great to have those papers outta here, and exciting to know that after approval, it will be in Ethiopian hands!

I spoke with our agency this past week regarding our request as well. I had some questions about placement of children, and all that goes into that consideration. We are requesting two children between the ages of 0-5 (or 6?)....either siblings or unrelated children. They will most likely both be older than Elijah. We have discussed whether or not it matters to us if the children are related, and decided to leave that decision up to God (He already knows who our children are anyway!). If we adopted them at different times they would be unrelated, and have different stories, and we would be dealing with those things anyway. The only difference here is that they are coming home at the same time. So, we remain open and are excited to see what our referral will bring! We are also leaving genders open as well (although it would be very neat and tidy if we got one girl and one boy...we would have the bedroom thing all figured out....so I'm pretty sure that's not what we're getting! LOL).

We do not know how long to expect for a referral. We were told that there have been other families who have come along and said they would like two children, and are also open to unrelated children, so we should expect to wait longer than maybe we originally thought for a referral of this kind. So....six months....longer...? We just don't know. Our family coordinator gave us the standby advice of "expect the wait to be longer, and then be surprised if it's sooner". I think it would be awesome to have a referral by Christmas, but we'll see. I don't want to get my hopes set on any kind of time line. (BTW - this wait time is not because there are not many children that need families, but because our agency only works with a certain number of orphanages and there is MUCH to do to get a child paper ready before referral....there are also many times complications with paperwork or details to be filled in before they are ready to be adopted).

It feels good to move on in the process...and to not be getting things signed, notarized, certified, and copied. Now, we just wait, but I'm not sure which is harder - the working or the waiting!

Thank you for your prayers for our family, and for our precious children still in Africa. Please pray for them - that their needs will be met, their bellies full, their health good, and that God will send someone to comfort their hearts in what is most likely a very difficult time for them, whatever their story is. We'd appreciate it!

I Wanna Get Back There....

2010-07-13T21:05:00.003-05:00

I found myself this evening reading thru a couple of new blogs. It just so happens that these bloggers are relatively new to the adoption world and SO excited and ON FIRE about what they are doing....you can hear the passion in their voice and the purpose in their calling. It has caused me to reflect a little bit about where I am, and how I long to remember the purpose and passion with which I began this journey.

Just for clarification sake, let me just tell you that I have not lost my passion for adoption, or the cause of the orphan. I also still know this is part of my purpose, and am not questioning that.....but maybe the purpose and passion have been a bit taken for granted lately....or maybe muddled in with some of the other emotions I've been feeling.

As we enter the final stage of finishing our dossier (waiting on ONE. MORE. PAPER.), I find myself wondering about what our referral will look like and how these children will fit into our family. I have probably read more than I should about RAD, adjustments of older children, and difficult adoption stories. This has all been in the interest of trying to become 'prepared'. However, I have found that in my efforts to be prepared, I've lost my focus. I've taken my eyes from where they should be - on God and His calling for our lives - and put them on myself.

It's not wrong to be prepared - it's good. It's not wrong to think through what is best for your family, and how it will affect everyone involved. However, I have found, at least for myself, there is a bit of a danger there. It's tempting for me to listen to other's opinions and forget that God's is the only one that matters. It's easy for me to get wrapped up in my own fears and worry about things that aren't happening, and may or may not ever happen. It's easy for me to think about my own desires and make this all about me.

I wanna get back there....back to that place I was when I first discovered God's heart for the orphan....back to the place where my focus was on Him and what He was asking of our family....back to the place where my faith assured me that even if hard things came, He would see me through. I don't think I've really left that place, but I do think that I've kept my eyes on my own fears long enough that it temporarily diminished the passion. So, I'm workin' my way back. I'm going to take my eyes off of myself, and focus on who God is and His promises....because I know when I do, things always seem clearer.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

My Emma

2010-07-10T21:33:00.002-05:00

In June we celebrated Emma's 11th birthday!! I can hardly believe she is 11 already (don't we always say that??), but we are so proud of the young lady she is becoming!

Emma is the youngest of our three 'big kids' and is the life of our home. She is outgoing and fun, and has a heart of gold. This is the girl that has a heart for anybody or any animal she thinks needs help or feels sad. We have saved many an animal from our basement windows, and helped an injured bird in our backyard by taking it to the local vet med school. She loves animals and thinks she wants to be a veterinarian someday. Emma has a kind heart for kids, too. When we sat the kids down to talk to them about our second adoption and the possibility of adopting two children this time, she was ALL for it. When I asked her how many children we should adopt, she said, "MOM! There are 147 MILLION orphans!" (as if, silly question - she thinks we should adopt many). This is also the same girl who came to us during the week Nathan and I were making a final decision about our first adoption (she did NOT know we were having this conversation at all) and told us that she really wanted to help take care of kids in Africa and thought she might be a missionary in an orphanage someday. She has a huge heart and we love that about her.

Emma is in a local chidren's choir and loves to sing. She also plays piano and is interested in drama. Between rehearsals and practicing, and trying to take care of the world, she keeps busy. :) We love her zest for life and the energy she brings to our home. We are so proud of her, and count her among our greatest blessings!

Referralversary, DCFS and Passports...

2010-06-11T20:21:00.003-05:00

It's been one year since we saw this face....

One year ago we received our referral call for Elijah and saw his precious face for this first time....I know I'm a little biased, but is this not the cutest referral picture you've ever seen...?!

I remember that I had picked Hayden up from basketball camp, fed my kids' lunch, and we were on our way to do some volunteer work when my phone rang. I had prepared myself that our 'call' would not come until August, so I was surprised when I saw the 703 area code on my caller ID. It was Terra, our family coordinator, calling with our referral!! I could hardly think I was so surprised as I fumbled my way to the computer, and we tried to conference call Nathan into the call. We couldn't get ahold of him, so she emailed the pictures and gave us his information. Nathan looked from work and we looked from home.....I couldn't believe that the day had come or how beautiful he was! What a blessing! Happy Referralversary, Elijah!!

In other news, our homestudy was approved by DCFS this week!! This is GREAT news! We've sent our homestudy on to the next step at USCIS (immigration). There was some confusion in the midst of changes at USCIS as to where to send it to, so I'm crossing my fingers that we got it right. Now we use this time to finish our dossier documents and wait for our I171-H. When all those things are in place, our paperwork can go to Ethiopia and we can be placed on the waiting list!! No telling how long all that will take, but we are hoping for the inside of 6 weeks. (!!)

Our kids' passports also came in the mail this week....the big 3 anyway. They requested one more document in order to process Elijah's passport, but it didn't sound like a big deal. We are planning on taking all of our kids on our first trip to Ethiopia, and that won't be for a while, so we have some time to spare on that.

All of this = progress. And progress is a good thing!

What a difference a day makes!

2010-06-03T15:57:00.003-05:00

So, yesterday I posted and shared that things were kind of at a standstill with our homestudy approval and we had not received an adoption grant we had applied for. I was more bummed than I probably really should have been, but it was discouraging. (both for DCFS to delay our homestudy approval and to not receive the grant). Last night I felt myself feeling disappointed and telling God that I really just needed to see Him in all of this. If this is where He was leading, I would follow, but I needed to somehow see Him in the midst of the process, and help me to know this adoption was in fact His idea. I was not praying for Him to reverse anything that had happened, (nor did I expect that) I just needed a little glimmer of hope and some reassurance that we were where He wanted us.

Well, today He all but undid all that happened yesterday!! First, I received an email from our social worker this morning that they had received word that DCFS would be approving homestudies from our agency and that our homestudy should be processed soon!! Yay! Hopefully we will get our approval in the next week or so and can move on to ....well, more waiting, but this time for USCIS to approve our homestudy and send us our I171-H.

Then, this afternoon, Lifesong for Orphans called and said that they do have grant money for us after all!! Totally unexpected! At first I thought they had made a mistake because of the call we had received the day before. Apparently, they had an unexpected donor and were able to offer us a grant! We are SO grateful!!

It's amazing the difference a day makes...and even more amazing that I have a God who shows up when I need Him to. Who cares about the desires of my heart, but more importantly cares about the fatherless and will rise up on their behalf. I am in awe and humbled to watch Him work.

Thank you for those of you who have offered encouragement when the road gets tough, and pray on behalf of our family and our children in Ethiopia. We will never be able to thank you enough.

I will thank you, Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.

I will be filled with joy because of you.

I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

Psalm 9:1,2

Homestudy Approval and Grants....or lack there of

2010-06-02T12:49:00.005-05:00

Well, not a whole lot new on the adoption front.....we are STILL waiting on Illinois DCFS to approve our homestudy....they've had it since April 13. We live in one of the only states (if not THE only state) which requires DCFS to look over an international adoptive family's homestudy and approve it before it can go on to USCIS (immigration). DCFS informed our agency this week that they will not be approving our homestudy until their (the agency's) license is successfully renewed in July. AHHHH!! Frustrating to say the least.....we had really anticipated having this approval by mid May. There is no anticipated problem with our agency's license, which adds to the frustration. So, we are just hoping that this agency license will be granted quickly and our homestudy will be approved shortly after that.

In other news, we were disappointed to find out we will not be receiving a grant from Lifesong for Orphans. We had kind of hoped that because we are adopting 2 children and they were children number 5 and 6 for us, that we might be chosen for a matching grant. Bummer for us.
So, we trudge onward with our fundraising.....and hope that our family and friends don't get sick of us. :)

We do have an exciting raffle coming soon.....check back for details!!

No Judgement Attached....

2010-05-22T20:59:00.007-05:00

This is another hard, but honest, post. I was told this week by someone I love that Nathan and I and our choices may be making others feel inferior. While this was presented graciously, it cut to the quick. You see, the very last thing I want others to see or feel in our journey is that we think we are superior or are judgemental of anyone else and their journeys.

The idea came from my last post and my reflecting on my own selfishness and struggle to embrace a life that would require me to give up some things in order to adopt two children. It was gently pointed out to me that if I am reflecting on these things, others may relate to my thoughts on myself and apply them to themselves. For example, if we are choosing to adopt children and forgo some of our dining out or vacations, then what about others who make the choice to do these things (eat out, vacation, etc.) and don't adopt children?

I want to be clear about something and I hope you will hear my heart on this: We are not concerned with what others are or are not doing. We hope that you (or anyone else) will never look at our lives and think we think 'we are so good' or that others are inferior. Boy, that was hard to even write. We have been blessed (and challenged) to be put on this path of adoption, but we are not better than anyone because we are on it. This is God's doing and not our own. My flaws are many - too many to list - and I am just grateful that God will still use me despite of them.

We know that we are on the path that God has for our family - we are in agreement and we have peace about it. I will be honest though - this is hard. It's hard to think that other's might feel negatively about what we are doing. It's hard to choose something for your family that is 'out of the norm'. It's hard to feel like others might judge you about the decisions you are making. It's hard to think about making sacrifices.

Here's the truth - I am responsible for doing what I know God is asking me to do, and I hope that I will do it with grace so that others never feel in some way condemned or judged by me in the process. You are responsible for your own journey.
I was reminded of this passage of scripture earlier this week by a good friend (unrelated to the conversation I mentioned above, but very appropriate):

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"

"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

Again Jesus said, "Simon, son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

The third time he said to him, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?"

He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old someone will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."

Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.

Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them......

When Peter saw him, he asked,
"Lord, what about him?"

Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?

You must follow me."

John 21:15-22

You see, Jesus wanted Peter to worry about his own journey....not John's or anyone else's. The same is true for me - He wants me to worry about my journey. Yours is between you and Him.

Nathan and I will make decisions for our family, and yes, advocate for orphans....it is our heart.

But we do so with no judgement attached. Each one can read, pray, and decide for themselves what God has for them. They certainly don't need me in my own imperfection to do it for them.

Wrestling

2010-05-01T20:47:00.014-05:00

Lately I've been wrestling a bit with God....not because we disagree (how can you disagree with God??:), but because I am trying to make sense of things. Over the past week or so, Nathan and I have been in prayer and discussion about our 'request' for a child in our second adoption. (BTW - I completely and totally hate to refer to it as a request...we are not shopping for a child, but we are trying to discern what direction God wants us to go). Let me explain.....

When we started our homestudy this time around, we agreed to ask for an approval that was wide open. So, we got approved for 1-2 children instead of just 1. At the time we completely felt like it was a wise thing to do because you just never know in international adoption, and if our referral showed up with a sibling or something, we wanted to be prepared. We (I) really didn't have any intention of bringing two children home.

Fast forward to the past week or so and I can tell you we are in a completely different place with this. Apparently, after having some discussion, Nathan was under the impression that we were open to two children once we submitted our homestudy that way. I just thought we were being open just in case. When I found out this is what Nathan was open to, I was a bit taken a back. My initial reaction was to feel overwhelmed.....six kids?? Am I on candid camera? You must be kidding me.

So, for the next several days, I prayed - a lot. And I proceeded to tell God all of the reasons that this doesn't make sense and that I wasn't sure I wanted to be the "crazy adoption lady" with six kids. I mean, those people are weird, right??

So, in the interest of transparency, I will share with you some of my really super-duper great reasons for not adopting two more for a total of six: (don't judge me....I'm just being honest!)

Like I said, I don't want to be the weird adoption lady. I mean, I think I'm pretty normal. :))
How will we afford the additional adoption expenses (since we don't really know how we are affording them for one!)
Grocery bills for a family of eight.
I want to be able to go on vacation once in a while.
I like to eat out.
Do these kids expect to go to college??
No one will ever invite us over for dinner again.
WHAT WILL WE DRIVE?
Will I have to give up my own involvement in ministries I love in order to parent these children well?
Will I have time to be myself when so many others need me?
And again....How will we afford all of this and what will we drive?? :)

Super-duper great reasons, right?

None of these reasons seems good enough to allow a child to stay in an orphanage and wait for a family.....so I can go on vacation? so I can eat out? because I may have to give a few things up? I'm pretty sure God does not want me to leave a child behind because they don't fit in my van.

Let me tell you, I have wrestled with these things. Not because I don't want two more and not because I don't want six kids....I actually do. I am actually humbled that our God would entrust me with six precious lives. I am in awe of that.

But, I am selfish. I like to be in control. I never imagined this is what my life would look like. I never thought we would be a family of eight. I don't want to give things up - new clothes, meals out, taking trips, entertainment, and other pleasurable activies. And, I'll be honest - I may have to give some of it up to do adopt one, let alone two. Why do I say that I know this life is not about me, and then live it as if it is?

So, I have prayed. I have talked to other adoptive moms. And I have examined God's heart. I cannot claim to know exactly what God has for us, but I will tell you that God has placed a genuine excitement in me at the thought of adopting two. No, not an emotional response, but a feeling that my heart is in line with His. So, we will move forward with our adoption and wait with anticipation to see His plan unfold. Because here is what I know for sure....our first adoption didn't make any sense (from the world's perspective). Our kids were bigger, I was still teaching, and we really couldn't afford it (so we thought). But through it God was faithful, He provided what we needed and He brought us our sweet Elijah. What if I had missed it.....? What if I had missed it because of my fears and selfishness??

I hear Him whispering....."Do you trust me? do you really trust me? This is not too big for me."

Of course it isn't - I do trust Him and I am excited about this journey He has us on.....one thing I've learned so far - His ways and His plans are always better..... so bring it on!

Haley Morgan

2010-04-28T11:18:00.008-05:00

On Monday (April 26) we celebrated Haley's 14th birthday! My mind cannot comprehend that 14 years have gone so quickly and we feel so blessed to have such a wonderful daughter!

Haley is our oldest child and much like her dad in many ways....she looks like him, and sometimes even acts like him. :) (when she is ornery or has a dry sense of humor!) She is probably the most reserved of our children, but what she has to say is worth listening to. She is mature and wise for her years and I would venture to say more responsible than any other 14 year old you could find. We try to make an effort not to take advantage of her because you can entrust her with much, but I have to admit it's sometimes tempting!

Her talents are many....she is a bright girl and school comes easily. She is creative and loves to bake (actually wants to sell cupcakes as a fundraiser for our adoption!), cook, make cards, and do crafts. She is a pianist and also takes tennis, both of which she enjoys.

What I have always admired most about Haley is that she is who she is. She is fine to be with a group of people, and fine to be by herself. She is not easily swayed by others and is true to herself. She makes good decisions and doesn't change for those around her. (I am thinking this is going to be a great teenage skill!) Haley knows who she is and what she believes, and while she may not be overly vocal about it, her actions speak louder than words.

Happy Birthday, Haley! We love you!

IT'S NOT ABOUT ME

2010-04-10T20:45:00.007-05:00

Has it really been 2 1/2 weeks since I last posted?? Where does the time go? (well, I could give you a list, but it wouldn't be all that exciting or probably even a lot different from your list....so, I'll skip it and assume you can relate!)

I have formulated a post in my mind several times...or at least thought about writing it, but I never get around to it. Yes, part of it is time, but part of the reason why is because I'm not quite sure how transparent I want to be...

There is no better way to learn many of life's lessons than to experience the journey of adoption. I have wrestled with not having control over the situations and timing and all of the unknowns. I love a plan, love to know how things are going to play out, and am not the greatest 'waiter' you've ever met. I like to get things done, and do not love sitting around waiting for things to happen. Well, guess what? Adoption requires much of all of that!

But there is another area of struggle....another area not quite so easy to admit. It's ugly and the very nature of this struggle urges me to keep it quiet and pretend it doesn't exist. Wonder what I'm reffering to? PRIDE. Why is that so difficult to admit? Because my pride wants me to smooth it over and act as if I have it all together....

I have always been an independent person....and when I'm not, well, I usually pretend to be anyway. I'm not pretending on purpose, as if to 'lie' to people. I just have always felt like I needed to be self sufficient and do for myself. I'm the 'helper', not the 'helpee'. The role I am comfortable in is taking care of myself and my family, helping others when I can, and being the doer. I am uncomfortable having others do for me or give to me. From as far back as I can remember, I wanted to be independent. I fought against my parents for independence from a young age, and now that I'm older I have no idea why. I certainly didn't have a family situation where that was necessary - it was just the way I was wired, I guess.

Well, here's the hard part. We can't do this adoption thing alone. We are going to have to have help. We are holding fundraisers, applying for grants, and will most likely send a letter to family and friends asking them to partner with us in this adoption. We did all this the first time, and I swallowed my pride and did it because it was necessary and it wasn't for me - it was to bring our child home.

So, here we are, in the same situation, with the desire to adopt, and unable to finance the entire thing ourselves. We've already asked for help once.....really, God, do we need to do it again? I mean, didn't I learn my lesson by doing this once? Isn't that enough?? Surely, there's another answer this time. The independent (aka proud) part of me wants to run from this....I don't want to ask people to come to one more event, buy one more thing, or give one more donation. I just want it to be done.

But, here's the thing: IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. Apparently, I didn't learn this as completely as I thought I did. I want to have learned it well, but still I struggle. My husband seems to have such a good grasp on this. He does not wrestle with 'what other people will think'. (Really, it's true....remarkable, really.) He gets that this isn't about us and does not hesitate to ask people to partner with us. In fact, here's what he has to say about this issue:
(taken directly from his Facebook - commenting on adoption and the expense)
The way I see it is, I was bought at a price, we were all bought at a price, even though we were/are undeserving. It may/will cost us all something in terms of time, money, having to humble ourselves to ask for money, but it will all be worth it.
Store up your treasures in heaven and when/if you have to ask others for help consider it a chance to allow them to do what they should do/be doing anyway. When we ask and give others the opportunity to do something to help us bring our children home we are giving them a chance to care for the least of these and to take care of orphans. When we answer his call sometimes we pay a price. We will all be dead in 40-50 years but the inconviences that we go through now will have Godly repurcussions for many generations.
I look forward to all of our children coming home to our families and I also look forward to other people doing what we have done when we have led and shown them a good example. Despite the hardships we face, we will be blessed and our children will be blessed. God will not turn his face from us.
(Don't you love him??)

So, I continue this journey, remembering that God has called us to it and it's about what He wants to do through us and the child He wants to bring into our family. I get emotional thinking that He might bless me with yet another child and am beyond grateful for that. Teach me, Lord, what you want me to learn. Even when it's hard.

How Goes It?

2010-03-24T20:49:00.003-05:00

Our adoption process is coming along (I guess?) as we expected. Since our hard news in February about not being able to proceed with the adoption of a certain little girl, it has slowed a bit....or at least it feels like it. Our agency has told us that we should expect to wait until August (once we've been home with Elijah for a year) to submit our dossier. We may ask for an exception, but we aren't expecting it to be granted. I guess we're not really in a hurry for anything, anyway.

We are patiently(?) waiting to receive our appointment from immigration to go to Indy and have our fingerprints taken. We have had all of our homestudy appointments and are waiting for the homestudy to be completed. In the meantime, we are slowly working on compiling the many documents that will be included in our dossier. I would say we are about half done with that. I have to say, I am much more relaxed this second time around and I guess it alleviates some stress knowing that we can't really do much until August anyway.

When August comes, our paperwork will be sent to Ethiopia and we will be officially put on the wait list. We are prayerfully considering what our specific request in terms of age range will be. By the time we receive a referral, Elijah will be 2. Our agency has a rule about wanting the referred child to have at least a 12 month age difference from the children already in your home. That leaves us with the choices of 0-12 months and any child above 3 years old. We do not have a gender preference, so we will probably leave it open and ask for a referral of a child 0-12 months or 3-5 years. We know this probably means receiving a referral for an older child, but we are kind of excited about that. We want to leave it in God's hands and be open to whatever He has for us.

We do not know what our wait time for a referral will be once our dossier is sent in August....infant boy referrals are currently at a wait time of 4-6 months and toddler referrals are somewhat unpredictable. Our family coordinator told us to expect about the same time frame as an infant referral and know that there is a possibility it could be sooner. So, who knows?

I guess there really isn't much information in all of this, but that's where we are....waiting to wait. We are plenty busy around here, so I'm sure it will go quickly!

Happy Birthday to my Biggest Boy!

2010-03-18T20:49:00.006-05:00

My biggest boy is having a birthday! Hayden turns 13 on Friday - hard to believe! He is such a blessing to us and we are so proud of him.

Many people who know us now don't realize that he had a bit of a rocky start 13 years ago. Hayden was born at a whopping 2 lbs. 10 oz. and was 10 weeks early. He was a twin, and his identical twin, Nathanael, passed away before birth. It was a crazy time of having an 11 month old at home (yes, you read that right - Haley was not quite 11 months old when they were born), celebrating that Hayden had been born, being worried for his health and future, and grieving for Nathanael. I had no idea what to feel at any given moment. Hayden stayed in the NICU for 37 days and had what would be considered a pretty uneventful hospital stay. (I would NOT have said that at the time, but the Drs. who deal with it every day did!) He came home at 4 lbs. 4 oz. on April 26, Haley's first birthday.

Since a young age, Hayden has always been a tender-hearted, caring boy. He loved to pray even as a little guy, and I have always felt like God spared His life because He has a plan for him. When he was about five, he would evangelize the kids in the neighborhood, and tell them the story of Jesus. One day I looked over as he was shaking a little playmate by the shoulders and saying, "Do you believe, Max, do you believe?" Sweet boy just wanted everyone to know Jesus.

This boy loves all things basketball - loves to play, loves to watch, loves to talk about it, and knows more statistics than I can wrap my brain around. If he could remember to put away his clean clothes like he could remember b-ball stats, we'd be in business! He is in heaven during March Madness, although disappointed that his Illini didn't make it in the NCAA this year. :( Basketball is definitely his favorite, but he will watch any team, any sport, anytime.

We are proud of the young man Hayden is becoming. He's responsible, funny, hard working, and smart. He maintains that sweet spirit he had as a young boy.....this year his #1 request for a birthday present was to donate money towards an organization that will help someone learn how to teach the Bible. He told me it was because he knew that the most important thing someone could do in their life was accept Jesus as their Savior.

I love this kid - Happy Birthday, Hayden!!

Agency Update

2010-03-11T22:22:00.002-06:00

We had a conference call with our agency, America World, today. We were able to get a bit more information about what is going on. It doesn't necessarily answer all of our questions about how this will all work out, but it was good to hear.

First, let me start by saying I love our agency. They do such a good job in giving good information, but only what they know is true. There is no speculating or emotional response with them.....which is so important since most of us are plenty emotional without their help! :) They are encouraging and tell us often that they are praying for each one of us - I couldn't recommend them more.

In a nutshell, here is what we learned:
Both parents are now required to travel for their children's court date. The biggest reason for this change is that sometimes parents were traveling to Ethiopia (after they'd passed court) and finding their child to be different than what they expected....more medical issues, developmental delays, etc. Apparently, some families chose to leave that child behind and come home without them. Here is the big problem: Ethiopian adoption is a fully irrevocable process. That means, in their country, there is no undoing it, which is really bad for these kids left behind. They are now stuck without hope of ever being matched with a new family. So, now we will travel to Ethiopia a few days before our court date and spend time with our child. Then, we will go to court to testify of our desire to adopt our child(ren). Honestly, it makes sense. I remember when our agency went to court for Elijah (on our behalf), it did feel a little weird that this child we had never seen or held was now legally ours by his country. I wasn't having doubts, but the process of that felt a little strange.

So, we will travel anywhere from 2-8 weeks after our referral to meet our child, go to court and then return home. (BOO for this part!!) We then wait for the Embassy to do the paperwork and investigating they need to do and will return to ET 8-12 weeks after our court date to bring our child home.....could be a little sooner. No one knows how this process will change over the coming months (it probably will!), but this is the current plan.....not that there is ever a consistent plan with international adoption....the only consistent thing about the whole thing is change!

Leaving on a Jet Plane.......twice!

2010-03-10T14:12:00.003-06:00

Ethiopian adoption is definitely experiencing some changes....we were informed of the biggest one so far today by our agency. Now, when you adopt from ET, you must make TWO trips to Ethiopia in order to do so. I am unsure of the reason for the change, but we have a conference call with our agency tomorrow and I'm sure we'll learn more. Some have wondered if it is an effort to combat any suspicion of corruption in Ethiopian adoption, and others say it is because some families have passed court and then never traveled to bring their children home. (HUH??? People DO that??) In any case, it doesn't matter why.....it is what it is.

Honestly, if we didn't have 4 other kids (one of them being a very young child who was adopted himself), and money were no object, I wouldn't really mind going twice. I enjoyed the travel and the time in Ethiopia. However, life has obligations and we (unfortunately) have financial limitations, so the two trip rule is a bit of a bummer. We are very fortunate, though, to have very helpful grandparents nearby (did you hear that, Mom??:) who I am sure will step into help us with the kids when it's time, and we know that God will somehow provide what we need.
It's funny, I had really fought against the idea of sending a letter to family and friends letting them know about financial need this time......well, guess what? I am going to have to take a very big gulp of my own pride and probably do it anyway! (gulp)

My biggest fear with the two trip deal is that it will sway people from adopting from Ethiopia.....and that is the real tragedy. After seeing the country and it's kids, I am sad to think of the families who will choose to go another route because it's easier. It's certainly not right or wrong to adopt from any certain country (they all need homes!), but I am heartbroken to think of children who will stay in orphanages in Ethiopia because the process just got a little harder.

I am SO thankful that I have the benefit of knowing how worth it it all is! I was talking with another adoptive friend this afternoon and we both agreed - we would go to Ethiopia five, or even ten times, if it meant bringing our children home! They are worth it!

Daddy Daughter Dance

2010-03-05T15:53:00.012-06:00

Well, the fund raising for our second adoption has begun and we are excited to offer this event we think many families will enjoy! We are hosting a Daddy Daughter Dance 0n April 24. It will held in the youth building (Oasis) at our church, First Christian.
Tickets are available for a minimum donation of $25 per daddy/daughter couple and $5 for each additional daughter. The night will include cupcakes, nail painting, photos, dancing, door prizes, and a Princess Boutique where we will sell tiaras, tutus, ribbon halos, and fairy wands. (Items b/t $3-10) They are darling! Details can be found in the image above.You will also see that a local boutique has been very generous and offered to give the proceeds of fancy dresses sold for this event towards our adoption fund - aren't they cute!?! They are only $59 and would be great for Easter, too! If you would like to purchase tickets, please contact me directly or use the donate button below, indicate who you are purchasing tickets for, and I'll be glad to get them to you. Donations from those who cannot attend are, of course, welcome. Thanks for your support!

Feeling Grateful

2010-02-26T14:15:00.003-06:00

Elijah at referral - 5 months old

Today I'm feeling grateful that this little one was given to our family. In light of our 'loss' this week - or I guess, change of plans - it has struck me how if one thing had been different, Elijah may not have been referred to us. If his birth family had not let him go....if he had not been found....if he had not been taken to Kid's Care (one of the best orphanages in Addis and one with a relationship with our adoption agency).....if America World had not gotten the referral for him....and then passed it on to us. I am humbled and grateful that God saw fit to make all of these pieces fall into place at just the right time to bring us this boy. What an incredible gift we've been given and what an amazing God to give it.

I read on another mom's blog, who is in Ethiopia picking up her FOUR children, that she had the opportunity to visit with Aster, the director of Kid's Care this week. Aster expressed her sadness over the recent news stories that have cast Ethiopian adoption in a negative light. Most children who are abandoned are now being taken to government-run orphanages, which is not exactly the best chance for them to be matched with a family. Please pray for these sweet children. With different timing, this would have been our Elijah. I shudder to think of it.

While sad about our news this week, we are hopeful for our 'next Elijah', as a friend put it. And, it leaves us feeling grateful for what we've already been given!

Just For DADS.....

2010-02-25T16:41:00.003-06:00

I went to an adoption conference last week and my favorite part was listening to a couple of dads answer questions and share their hearts for adoption. They were just normal everyday kind of guys - and I think that's what made their message so appealing.

Well, due to popular request, one of them has made a video sharing his thoughts on adoption....his fears and questions when he started...and how those have been put to rest.

DADS: Take five minutes of your time and listen to what this guy has to say.....definitely something to think about!

Disappointment and Trusting

2010-02-24T21:23:00.003-06:00

We got some hard news today. I can't divulge all the details, but Nathan and I had been looking into pursuing the adoption of a certain little girl through our agency. We got the news today that this sweet girl is not adoptable at this point. We are so disappointed. We are selfishly disappointed for ourselves, because we were hoping to have her as part of our family; however, we are far more disappointed for her. We are hoping and praying that her circumstances will change and she will be matched with a forever family someday.

As for us, we will continue working on our paperwork and home study. We will plan to submit our dossier (code word for everything you never wanted to know about our life) in August when we've been home with Elijah for a year. We are leaving our approval and request for a child wide open at this point until we pray about what exactly that should be. We are open to whatever God thinks best for our family. (Did I just write that???:) Please pray with us that we will be able to discern where He's leading.

We are trusting that God has a plan - both for us and for this little girl. It's hard to make sense of things when they happen this way, but we know He knows best. He brought us the right child when He blessed us with Elijah, and we feel confident He will do it again.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.

"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Adoption Ethics

2010-02-16T18:47:00.008-06:00

So, yesterday CBS had a negative story on about Ethiopian adoption. I would love to tell you that my commentary on the piece is going to be objective, but it's not. Stuff like this makes me so angry and the piece was so incomplete, you could hardly say it was unbiased itself. The story accused Ethiopia of child trafficking and unethical adoption. Before I go on, let me say this loud and clear: I am not defending any sort of unethical or immoral behavior in adoption, nor am I denying that it ever occurs. Adoption is no different than anything else - where people are involved, there are bound to be mistakes and sin and the process is bound to be imperfect. Fraud happens in adoption everywhere and I cannot say that it has never happened in Ethiopian adoption, so that is not my point.

This 'news' story highlights a family that has been in the news before with their story about their Ethiopian adoption of 3 older girls. The girls' mother had passed away, but the father was still alive and well. The problem is, the girls have said that their father was paid to give them up and that the girls thought they were coming to America for an education. Apparently, they thought they were returning to Ethiopia when the adoption was complete. So, CBS used this story to raise questions about Ethiopian adoption in general and imply that the entire system is full of corruption and adoption of children who "are not orphans." Let me also say that this post is not a commentary on whether or not this story is true or really happened. I am using it as a spring board to share my thoughts on some questions and concerns the piece raises. If you'd like to watch the whole story, go HERE.

There are a couple of points I'd like to make about this story and about adoption in general.

1. This story implies that "these are not children sitting around in orphanages." REALLY?? How can one even claim that? I have been there and seen them myself. They most certainly are children without homes and families to take care of them. They are sitting in orphanages and they ARE waiting for families. The idea that someone is paying someone - especially for older children who are hard to place - to make money from an adoption is crazy. There are skads of children sitting in orphanages waiting for homes already....there is no need to come up with children to meet the demand. It's ludicrous.

2. Ethiopian adoption is not big business. Last year, in 2009, there were 2277 Ethiopian adoptions in the US. There are 5 million orphans in Ethiopia. MOST children in need of a home in Ethiopia will not get one. Adoption is a blessing to those whose lives it touches, but it is a dream that will not happen for most of these children.

3. Another point made here, and one I've seen made elsewhere is that "these children are not really orphans." I suppose, in some cases, that depends on how you define orphan. If you mean that both of their parents are dead, then maybe some of them aren't. But if you mean that these children do not have families, a place to belong, or adults to take care of them then they most certainly are.
This is one thing that bugs me. Adoptive parents often beat themselves up because they wonder if their child would be better off with their biological family, or feel guilty because they perceive their child was given up due to poverty, treatable sickness, or hardship. The fact is, most of those are true. Most of these children probably were given up because of one of those factors and a smaller number probably have two deceased parents. Does it matter?
Here's the thing: We, as adoptive parents, did not create our children's situation. We did not twist anyone's arm to give up their child. By the time we came on the scene, the child was already in the orphanage....What are we to do then? Not respond because we don't like the reasons they were relinquished? Who are we, as Americans, who are warm and well-fed, to judge another for the decisions they make in situations we cannot begin to imagine?? Yes, of course it is sad that their parents and/or family had to make these heartbreaking decisions....I am not making light of that. But that is not the point here. The point is, we are called to respond to those in need, not to judge or decide if someone is in need because of worthy reasons.

4. In response to "most of these children are not true orphans", I also say this: If you adopted in the United States, most of those children also have a living parent. We don't think anything about that. Why are these children, who are born in a third world country, any less deserving of a family than these American children? The point is this: If these children do not have a loving family or a place to belong, they need us to step up and be that for them. Yes, it's sad that they were often given up due to desperate situations, but they were still given up and they still need us to love them and call them our own. If Christians would rise up and be the hands and feet of Jesus to the poverty stricken around the world in a real and tangible way, many of these families wouldn't be faced with the difficult decisions to give up their children.....but that's another post for another day. If you don't feel called to adopt, but want to fulfill the mandate to care for these children, then do just that. Find a way to connect with an organization or individuals making a difference for these poverty stricken families.....support them so they can keep their kids.

5. The last thing I want to say is that I found Ethiopia to be very conscious of doing right by these children and very careful in making sure that each child was an orphan and was in fact adoptable. During Elijah's referral and court period, there was actually a stop put on court dates for abandoned children because they were being sure that there was no corruption in the system. Many people do not pass thru court the first time because they want to see careful and complete documentation. Our agency, America World, is thorough and cautious in their process as well. I never had any doubts about the ethics or morality of our adoption.

It makes me sad that pieces like this come out and cast doubt in people's mind. There are so many children counting on us to make a difference for them, and some will be stopped because of one story on the evening news telling them the system is flawed. There were no highlights of the wonderful, honest agencies doing good, hard work on behalf of the children. There were no stories told of successful adoptions that had made a difference for families and for kids. I guess that doesn't make for interesting news.

Adoption Fears

2010-02-07T16:01:00.005-06:00

In the last few weeks, Nathan and I have individually or together had the opportunity to talk to about 3 couples who are thinking about adoption. They've had many questions - some of the same ones we wrestled with ourselves - and it's caused me to think about some of them. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I wanted to put some of my thoughts down on paper. I figure if some are approaching us with questions, there might be others out there who are wondering the same things.

1. MONEY - How do you afford adoption?? This is probably concern #1 of many adoptive couples. I know it is what kept us from doing it sooner - How in the world do you come up with $25,000 (give or take)? Well, the answer is not the same for all of us. When we pursued adoption the first time, we literally had no idea where the money would come from. I mean, we had a little in savings, but that was spent at the beginning of the adoption and we had much more to come up with.....Our adoption was paid for in many ways. We used a tax refund, had a huge garage sale, sent out fundraising letters (we know some very generous people!), our kids sold coffee, and we worked a monthly payment into our budget that we sent to our agency each month to chip away at our fees. We also took out a home equity line of credit and did use some of that. We will be paying that off with part of our adoption tax credit that we will receive this year. So, that was us. Your plan may look very different......fundraisers, borrowing from family, applying for grants, cutting back in your spending, and taking advantage of the tax credit can all add up. Some may feel conflicted about going into debt for an adoption, but this is a child's life we are talking about. Would you borrow the same amount of money and make payments for a car?
If you have more questions about financial resources, I have a folder of resources from CHOSEN, our church's orphan care and adoption ministry, that I can send you. Just leave me a comment below. You can also go HERE to see a list of possible financial resources available.

2. Will I be able to love an adopted child like my own?? This was not ever a personal fear of mine because we had had children who were 'not our own' live with us for a time, and I can honestly say we loved those children as if they were our own. We had the benefit of experiencing this. It is a question I've heard more than once, though.
Adoption is a small example of the extravagant love God has for each of His children....the way he welcomes us into His family unconditionally and makes us His own. Adoption is God's idea. This is what I know: God will bless your adoption. Period. Now, that's not to say that you won't have problems with adjustment or bonding....that's not realistic. I certainly don't want to over simplify here, because families can and do struggle. But, over time (if not right at first), God will plant a love in your heart for that child....the same kind of love you have for your biological children, should you have them. We have four children, and I love no one of them any more than the rest. Elijah is as mine as Haley, Hayden, and Emma are. I feel that to my core. If this is your struggle, pray about it. And then I dare you to trust God and see if he doesn't do miraculous things in your heart. I dare you to love as extravagantly as He does. HERE is another post about the fear of loving a child as your own, from a dad's perspective.

3. How will my children be affected? You are right to consider your children, we certainly did. We talked and talked about the possible implications for them and what it might mean. What it came down to for us was this: We want our children to live out their faith, experience God's faithfulness, and not be afraid to do big things for God. We wanted to, as a family, not be afraid to step out and trust God to provide as we stepped out to do what we felt He was calling us to do. We wanted to pray about it as a family, experience the highs and lows together, and see God at work in our lives. We wanted to be in the middle of where He was moving, and be a part of it. We certainly didn't adopt for the reason of giving our children this experience, but I will tell you, it has been one of the greatest blessings. Our children know what it is to experience God's faithfulness and it has matured and grown them ten-fold.
You are right - your children will be affected, they will not be unchanged. All parts probably won't be easy, and a kid or two may get their nose bent out of joint. It's OK. Trust God to work it all for good in their lives....I know He certainly has in ours.
If you want to read another adoptive parent's point of view on how adoption has affected their children go HERE.

I know there are concerns here that I have not covered, but they seem to be the ones I am hearing right now. I may blog about another set of fears and questions another time....If you'd like me to address any other questions, or concerns, please leave a comment.
I will leave you with one last blog....she recently had two posts that really caught my eye. The first one is about excuses we all make as to why 'we could never adopt', and the second post is about the truth that our life really is not our own and how difficult that is to really grasp. I thought I would pass them on....thought provoking stuff.

Finally, if you are in the 'thinking' stage of adoption, or even just considering it, there is a great FREE conference you need to think about attending in Normal IL on Saturday, February 20. Looks like great info - go HERE to register!

Round Two

2010-02-05T20:20:00.004-06:00

Well, it's official - we are in the process of adoption #2!! (I know this is old news for those closest to us, but we have yet to 'officially' announce it). We are so excited to be on this path again!

Even before we went to Ethiopia to bring Elijah home, we had talked about adopting again. In fact, we entertained and prayed about the possibility of bringing home 2 children at the same time when we adopted the first time. For whatever reason, we never felt a peace about doing that and those doors were not opened. Our decision to adopt again is a culmination of what is on our hearts and experiences we had in Ethiopia. We do not yet know exactly what our 'request' for a child will be....probably not an infant, and probably not a child too old. (is that vague enough for you??:) Ultimately, it doesn't matter what we think. We know God will bring us just the right child for our family.

So...we've applied to our agency again and be accepted to the Ethiopia program. We've started our home study and sent in our I-600a. (for those of you that don't speak adoptionese, this is a form you must file with immigration to bring an orphan into the country.) We know what we are in for this time, and I think that is mostly a good thing. We know better what to expect and a few things we can do to be proactive about our part of it. The funny thing, though, is that you really don't have any control in this process....but some of us like to pretend. :) We also have the benefit of looking at holding the result of an adoption every single day. We have a real, live reminder of the blessing that adoption is in the end....and that is a very good thing!

Heart for Orphans

2010-01-20T14:35:00.007-06:00

If you are like me, you have watched the news in horror over the last 8-9 days. The tragedy in Haiti is hard to look at and I think we all ache to make some kind of a difference. My inbox has been flooded with ways to help, ways to give, and with details of what certain organizations are trying to accomplish there. My heart breaks as I watch the images on the news...especially the crying children and pictures of those left behind who lost their parents or maybe didn't have a family before. I want to swoop in and rescue them all and help place them in loving families.

It is interesting to me.....since the earthquake I have seen countless emails, facebook posts, and blog entries speaking about how important it is for us to go and adopt these children from Haiti. (which by the way, is all but impossible right now unless you were already in the process) I agree...orphans are important. They are important to the heart of God and should, therefore, be important to us. The one good thing that is happening as a result of this tragedy is the attention and thought the orphan crisis is receiving. (No, God did not cause it for that purpose, but he can make good out of any situation).

The orphan crisis was with us long before the earthquakes in Haiti last week....it is a growing problem that affects an estimated 147 million children. Millions.....hard numbers to grasp. It's true, you may not be able to adopt from Haiti right now, but there are children all over the world and even kids in the US that need our help. They need a home....someone to love them....somewhere to belong. Things most of us have had and probably take for granted for all of our lives. I think (and hope) that the US and Haiti will work together to make a way for these children to find forever homes. Pray with me that that happens....and that God will use this situation to draw attention to orphans and adoption in general and a difference will be made for many children who need a home!

Dear Birth Mother

2010-01-09T13:51:00.002-06:00

Dear Birth Mother,

You've been on my mind a lot lately. We celebrated Elijah's first birthday this week and I couldn't help but think of you...the woman who gave him life. I couldn't help but think of what life might have been like for both of you a year ago.....and the questions came. Where was he born? Who was with you? Were you alone? Does he have brothers and sisters? Did his birth bring you joy, worry, celebration or concern?....or a mixture of all of them?

I wish I could tell you about our boy....about the joy he is and his easy going disposition. His quick smile and belly laugh. The way his eyes sparkle and how he loves to be held. I wish you could know that he is loved - deeply loved. I wish you could know that he is safe....part of a family....and is treasured more than anything else in this world. We will protect him, teach him, and love him. We will give you a place of honor in our family. This woman who gave him life and surrendered her life with him to give him something more.

I don't know - and will never know - what the circumstances surrounding Elijah's birth were, or why you gave him up. I will never know if you were unable to provide for him, if you were sick, or if you passed away. Some questions will never be answered this side of heaven. I pray for you often...that you might have true relationship with Christ, that God will provide for and protect you, that you will have peace and that he will bless you and your family....including Elijah's father and siblings.

This I do know.....I am grateful for this gift you have given. I am sad that you will not know this incredible child, or even know if he is being taken care of. While I do not know the answers to my many questions or what your life was like a year ago, I do know that we both love this boy. I know that our life is richer with him in it, and I will be forever grateful to you for your part in his life. You will be honored and respected in our home, and we will continue to pray for you.

Blessings,

Elijah's Forever Mom

Look Who's One!

2010-01-06T20:11:00.012-06:00

Elijah checking out his new horse.....

Enjoying the ride!
(What this doesn't show is how scared he was of it and how we had to work up to this!)

Hmm.....is this for ME??

Trying a taste.......

I can't believe it!!

Don't you want to pick me up.....?

Hard to believe it is Elijah's first birthday already! Even harder to believe we have been home 5 months this month, and yet we can't remember life before him. What a blessing he has been. Emma regularly says, "Mom, our life would be so boring without Elijah!" I don't exactly remember it being boring, but I'm so glad we didn't miss this blessing. We are thankful today that he is in our lives! Happy Birthday, Elijah!! We love you!

Cutest Little Patient.....

2010-01-04T21:39:00.002-06:00

Elijah had a big day today. He had not one, but two surgical procedures done. He has had several ear infections since he came home in August and needed tubes in his ears. This, in itself...not such a big deal! The other procedure, though, shall we say, was a little sensitive. The poor guy also had a circumcision. (His dad made me do it!) Eli tolerated both procedures fairly well, but had a difficult time coming out of anesthesia.....he was so confused...flailing around, hurting himself with his own movement, and not understanding what in the world had happened to him!! The above picure of him is BEFORE the procedures....and he's a pretty cute little hospital patient if I don't say so myself. :) He's in bed now and we are glad to be on the other side of this and praying for a speedy recovery!!

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T16:48:00.003-06:00

Can you believe 2009 is coming to a close? I always find myself feeling a both excited and sad every year at New Year's. I know it is supposed to be a time of celebrating and looking forward - and it is - but it's also a time for reflecting. A time for reflecting on the past year, both the joys and the sorrows and the things you'd like to change.....the relationships you wish were different, the areas of your life you need to be more purposeful and intentional, and the ways you can make a difference.

I hope this finds you doing well, reflecting on your blessings, and looking forward to the new year. I know it does me - feeling grateful for my many, many gifts this year - and yet a bit sad that it all goes so quickly. (as I get older, it only seems to go faster - or maybe with each kid it seems to go more quickly!) I am vowing to do better in some areas of my life and try to surrender other areas to God. I guess that's what New Year's is good for....an evaluation of how we can grow and better ourselves. (although I don't make "resolutions", I still find it a good time to reflect!)

So, from our house to yours - Happy New Year! We hope 2010 will be a year which brings good things your way!

I will tell of the kindnesses of the LORD, the deeds for which he is to be praised, according to all the LORD has done for us— yes, the many good things he has done for the house of Israel, according to his compassion and many kindnesses.
Isaiah 63:7

A New Tradition

2009-12-26T16:08:00.007-06:00

Christmas has come and gone at the Garrison home and we hope your celebration was blessed. We had a great time with family and enjoyed having many of them in our home for food and fun. Elijah, of course, had little interest in his gifts and loved the wrapping paper most of all. We tried to find moments to focus on the reason for this special holiday, but it proves to be a challenge every year in the hustle and bustle.

We did begin a new tradition this year that I hope we will continue. This idea is thanks to a Facebook friend who shared it after I asked for ways to make the Christmas holiday more Christ centered. Before Christmas Eve, I asked everyone to prayerfully consider what their gift to Jesus would be this year. What would Jesus want for Christmas? It could be to spend more time with Him in prayer or reading scripture, to forgive someone who has hurt you, to work on some aspect of your life that needs refined, serve more, etc. We each wrote these down, wrapped them in gift boxes they'd been given ahead of time, and brought them to a family meeting after church on Christmas Eve. Each of us then unwrapped our gift and shared what we were going to give Jesus. (It is His birthday, after all!)

It was interesting to hear what our children had chosen as their gifts to Him. It brought me such joy and pride to hear them vowing to love Him more through giving of their resources (time, money), and spending more time with Him in prayer. Each of ours was a little different, but I think we found a theme of wanting to give more of ourselves and spend more time with Him. And that, I think, is what Jesus wants for Christmas!

Want to make a difference for just $25???

2009-12-09T18:27:00.003-06:00

So....what can you do with $25? Let's see....you could fill half your tank with gas, take half your family out to eat (depending on it's size, of course!), take about 4 people to the movies, or SAVE A CHILD'S LIFE!

That's right - for just $25 a month, you can make a life saving difference in the life of orphans. Children's Hopechest has just launched their new partner's website. Go HERE. They have a goal of enlisting 1,000 new partners this month so they can reach 5,000 more orphans in 2010. (see what a difference your few dollars can make??)

Children's Hopechest has set the goal of raising $500,000 to reach another 5,000 orphaned children in 2010. They’re raising these funds so that…

Fewer young girls are forced to trade sex for food.
More orphans will have food to eat, and the protection and love of Christian mentors
No girl will end up in the commercial sex trade.

Your donation will feed orphans in Africa and rescue them from extreme poverty. Your gifts will support life changing programs for girls in Russia that help prevent sex trafficking and forced prostitution. So, give up those lattes or fountain sodas....for less than $1 a day, you can change a child's life!

Just Because He's Cute.....

2009-12-06T19:00:00.001-06:00

Elijah, 11 months
(we don't know what the tongue thing is about....but he does it all the time!)

Have a great week!

Gifts that Give

2009-12-03T13:20:00.003-06:00

If you are like most families this Christmas season, you will be buying lots of gifts for those you love. I've done a little research, and I thought I would share what I've found about giving gifts that can give not only to those you are giving to, but help lift someone else up out of poverty as well. There are many great organizations out there that do this, but here are just a few I've found.

First off, there are wonderful organizations that allow you to buy a practical gift for those in need in someone else's honor or memory. For example, you can purchase a goat, chicks, blankets, livestock, food, etc. for those who so desperately need them. It's hard for us to imagine in our American abundance, but these gifts can literally change people's lives. Samaritan's Purse and World Vision are two organizations that have great gift catalogs for this kind of gift.

If you are in need a gift where your recipient has a little something to open, there are a plethora of organizations or companies that sell a product and the proceeds go to support charitable causes as well. Here are just a few, but if you look online, you'll find even more.

Bajalia Trading Company sells a variety of items including jewelry, baskets, pillows, throws, stationary, journals, and more. All items are hand crafted by local women (choose a region - China, Afghanistan, India, Turkey or Uganda) and the proceeds go to help them rise above poverty. The organization aids in training and other forms of community development to empower low-income people as they work to improve their lives.
Cards from Africa has a variety of hand made cards made in Rwanda by families affected by AIDS and genocide. Selling their product helps them to rebuild their lives.
Saints Coffee - Buy a pound of coffee and feed an orphan for a month! Easy enough...we all know coffee drinkers! This is a fair trade coffee that uses its proceeds to partner with organizations such as Children's Hopechest, a Christian organization that is meeting children's needs and sharing Jesus with them at the same time.
For the little ones on your shopping list, go take a look at Tiny Rockstar. They have some darling little shirts and buying just one t-shirt feeds a child for an entire month....for as little as $12, you get a t-shirt and help an orphan.
Punjammies Premium Sleepwear carry lots of comfy PJs....all made by women who have been rescued or escaped from a life of forced prostitution. This organization gives them a rare opportunity to make a new life for themselves.
Hand and Cloth sells beautiful blankets made by women in Calcutta India who have been rescued from red-light districts. Through creative enterprise and the transforming love of Jesus Christ, this organization seeks to empower women to begin new lives. The blankets are made from recylced sari material (the traditional Indian dress for women). Participants in the ministry receive employment, training, and regular Bible studies.
Good Paper is a free trade organization that sells greeting cards, handbags, journals and stationary. Good Paper alleviates poverty, helps orphans and socially oppressed peoples in Africa, India and the Philippines.
Trade As One (Change a life with everything you buy) is an organization whose mission it is to use sustainable business to break cycles of poverty and dependency in the developing world. They have an wide variety of products from coffee, jewelry, scarves, apparel, bags, chocolate, and the list goes on. Everything here is sold fair trade and benefits someone trying to work their way out of poverty.
Freeset sells t-shirts made by women who have been rescued from the red-light districts in India.

As I said, there is more where that came from, but this may give you a start if you are inspired to give gifts that serve a dual purpose. Also - if you are local - be sure to stop by a sale that a local Christian orphan advocacy group is holding. Known to Me is a community of believers who are coming together to change the lives of a community in Swazliland, Africa. You can read more about it on their website, but they are having a sale this Saturday, December 5 from 8-2 at Windsor Road Christian Church. They will be selling hand rolled bead jewelry from Beads for Life (Uganda), handmade purses from Timbali Crafts (Swaziland), and Just Love coffee that supports Known To Me’s efforts at the Ludlati carepoint. I also noticed that Just Love supports the orphanage in Ethiopia that Elijah came from (Kids Care). Be sure to check it out!

Be sure to share with the rest of us what ways you are giving gifts with purpose this season!
Merry Christmas!

Just ONE less = BIG change

2009-11-30T18:16:00.000-06:00

Contemplating the Contrast

2009-11-24T18:12:00.003-06:00

As we enter this holiday season, I find myself reflecting on my blessings. I find it very easy to be thankful because my life is full, my blessings are abundant, and my circumstances are good. We are healthy, we are well taken care of (even if it's sometimes a squeeze to the next pay check), and our life is good. Who, in our circumstances, could not be grateful for the life they've been given?

But what if our circumstances were different? Does my gratitude and joy only come because my life is easy? What if I found myself in the shoes of someone less fortunate - what would my attitude be then? How easy it is to trust and rejoice when things in our life are good. And here's the bigger question: What am I doing to share my gratitude and joy with those who are less fortunate?

Lately I have been missing Ethiopia a lot. I've been thinking about the simpler, slower way of life. About the way they seem to engage with each other and have lots of time for each other. As we enter the Christmas hoopla, I am just struggling with it a bit this year. I love the decorating (yes, I already have my tree up!), the baking, and the time spent with my husband, kids, and family. But, is it where we find our joy? Is a beautiful tree and lots of material gifts really where our joy is found? Of course not. I just find myself caught in the contrast of what life is here this time of year (which actually serves to make many of us grumpier) and the life that I saw in Ethiopia. Which of these ways of life help us to keep our focus where it should be? I tend to think our African friends have gotten this right.

For those of you wondering, I have not become a scrooge - I do not hate Christmas and am looking forward to celebrating this year. Maybe after being in Africa and bringing home our precious boy who was literally found in it's streets, I just feel a little different about the excess. And find myself contemplating all the good that could be done for those who really need it this Christmas.

Where, oh where, have I been?

2009-11-18T16:15:00.005-06:00

Where have I been....well, right here; just not blogging very successfully. I am sure by now there is no one out there even checking this thing!! The longer I waited to post the harder it was to think about where I would even start or what of interest I might have to say anymore!

We are doing well....Elijah is 10 months old now and is ALL over the place! He is crawling, climbing and pulling up and needs constant supervision. He is a joy, though, and continues to be an incredibly happy baby. He has been healthy, too....no ear infections for a month! When we went to the Dr. the other day they did say he had some fluid in his ears, but it wasn't infected yet. We are hoping the fluid will clear on it's own or it's off to the ENT for us! Still no teeth for the little guy yet, so his diet consists of baby food and puffs. Mmmmm......good thing he doesn't know any better! :)

The rest of us are doing well, too. The three big kids and I are enjoying home school and the freedom that brings. After teaching the last 5 years, I am amazed that you can get more done in a shorter day when it's only your kids and you aren't always waiting for everyone else to be done!

I have been busy with the Chosen ministry at church. We launched this new orphan care and adoption ministry in August with a 'Least of These' Sunday and a shoe drive. Then a couple of weeks ago, we had a dinner event with Tom Davis as our speaker....it was awesome! We had about 200 people show up, which were excited about - especially for our first event of this kind! Since then we've had many people show interest in adoption or orphan care - which was EXACTLY the point...three families have talked to me about getting more adoption information and we have another group of people interested in doing international orphan care!! Lots going on and lots to figure out in this new ministry, but it's good, exciting stuff!!

So.....where have I been? Well, home schooling 3 kids, taking care of a baby, working on ministry and running to basketball, tennis, guitar, piano, chamber choir rehearsal, and church events. Now that I'm back in the groove of writing, I'll try to do better!!
Blessings!

Robel

2009-10-09T12:18:00.006-05:00

Since our trip, I have thought of often of a man named Robel. Robel works for America World and was our travel guide during our trip to Ethiopia....but he was really so much more. Robel was really an inspiration to me; an example of what it is to live out your faith.
Some of the details of his story are fuzzy to me, but I will share what I do know the best I can.....As a ten year old boy, Robel moved 300 miles away from his mom and sister to Addis Ababa (capital city) to work and help provide for them. He was a street kid and did what he could to get by - washed cars, shined shoes, etc. He came to become a Christian through an organization that had soccer games for the kids to participate in. It was a Christian organization and in time they asked him to come to Bible studies in addition to the games. He described to me being overcome as he read the Bible, feeling as though God was talking straight to him. He continued to attend church and grow in his faith. Through some experiences and connections with people that can only be attributed to God's hand on his life, Robel was able to go to college in Cuba. He returned to Addis Ababa, where he lives now, to "pay it forward". He worked for the UN for a while, but being disgusted by the waste of money that could go to help others, he quit. He now works for our adoption agency and recently worked with National Geographic to shoot a television show called "Departures" where he traveled with their crew to document Ethiopia.

Robel is an amazing man....young and yet so sure of what it is to live out his faith. He has about 23 street kids that he works with. He checks in on them, makes sure they go to school (which costs him money), teaches them to sell or serve (ex. shining shoes) for money instead of expecting a hand out. He knows what it is to walk in their shoes and invests in their lives. He is amazing with the kids - both on the streets and in the orphanages. Robel is in the process of starting an organization to help these kids called Children's Future Ethiopia. If you are not a friend of Facebook, look it up. There are opportunities to help and sponsor kids coming soon! Get connected with him and support him to help him make a difference. I have seen these precious kids with my own eyes.....they need you.

We had such a good time getting to know Robel. It was only a week of our life, but we were forever challenged to live more sacrificially and act on our faith. If only the world had more Robels.....it would surely be a better place.

What Now?

2009-10-01T22:06:00.003-05:00

I've been pondering a lot lately what God has next for me and for my family. Let me try and explain....

When we began our adoption journey, I was so on fire for the cause of orphans and was overwhelmed with purpose to make a difference for their cause. Our family stepped out in faith to adopt a child because we believed it was a way that God could use our family....we knew we could not make a difference to 143 million orphans, but we knew we could to one. We felt convicted that if all Christians worked together to care for these sweet children, we could together make a difference. We were excited to feel this sense of purpose and passion and thought this must be "it". This is what God had for our family.

Well, fast forward about a year and a half. We are home with our precious boy, and we couldn't be happier. Elijah is an amazing gift and he is our own. But, you see, that's just it. We have grown our family to include Eli because by the grace of God, He chose us to parent this beautiful child. We are so grateful. So, you can see how we feel like we really have done nothing for the cause of orphans at all, but only received this blessing that God had for us.

I still carry the same passion to make a difference in the lives of these fatherless children. So, that leaves me asking, "What next?" What do I do now.....now that I have received this gift, and discovered my heart for the least of these...what do I do now?

I partially know the answer. In the previous post I talked about a new orphan care and adoption ministry I am a part of launching in our church. It is something God planted in my heart not long after we decided to adopt and I was beginning to discover how big the orphan crisis really was. I have no idea where God is going to take this ministry or what He has in mind....but I am excited to be along for the ride! It is my hope and prayer that God will use it to help these kids. I hope that people's hearts will be stirred to do something to help children in need....I don't care if they are next door or around the world....wherever God leads you. I hope this ministry will be a resource and encouragement for families hoping to adopt - but I also hope that it will be bigger than that. That families who do not feel called to adopt will find meaningful ways to connect with these kids and make a difference. All of that to say, I do feel purposeful in being a part of this ministry and I know it is part of the role God has for me in this cause.

But still, I find myself searching. I can hear some of you now....yes, I have four kids; yes, I am home schooling; and yes, I am involved in this church ministry. But the burden God has laid on my heart for the orphan is real and my heart is stirred to do more. What does that mean? I don't know. Will we adopt again? Quite possibly. Does it mean working in and growing in this ministry? I think so.

I guess now that we are home, it just feels like we've returned to "life as normal" and I'm not sure I'm OK with that. Yes, my life is good. But I don't want to grow comfortable with "good" and "normal". I want to live my life in a way that is purposeful and not about me. Admittedly, I am not very good at that yet, and it's easier said than done. But, I hope, through the searching and the desire to be purposeful for Him, I will continue to discover what exactly it is He has for me to do. Until then, we will enjoy these blessings we've been given and keep our eyes open for the next!

Chosen

2009-09-29T19:44:00.004-05:00

I am so excited to tell you about an orphan care and adoption ministry I am a part of launching at our church. Chosen is a ministry whose purpose and passion it is to walk alongside God's people as we seek to fulfill God's mandate to care for the orphan together. We hope to start our ministry simply by making people aware of the incredible need for us to step up and be a part of the solution of the orphan crisis. In keeping with this idea, we are so excited to be hosting a dinner event on November 6 with speaker Tom Davis. We are thrilled that Tom has agreed to come speak and know that he will be both a blessing and an inspiration to all who attend this special evening.

For those of you who don't know who Tom is, there is a brief bio included on the invite below. If you live near us, please plan on attending this event. We are very fortunate Tom agreed to come, and we have a fabulous musical guest and a great dinner planned as well. Help us pass the word on as well! See you there!!

(Click on the invite to enlarge and see all the details!!)

GO

2009-09-24T19:54:00.000-05:00

Dear Elijah.....

2009-09-19T21:23:00.003-05:00

Dear Elijah,

My heart is full of things I want you to know....about my love for you and your Father's sweet grace that brought you to us. You were planted in my heart by God, before I even knew who you were, what you looked like, or how it would all work out. I loved you before I knew you and I will always be grateful that we were blessed with the gift of you.

You were not born of my natural body as your older siblings were, but you were brought into our family with no less desire, joy, or purpose than they were. Adoption was not our second choice, and neither were you. It was only that we discovered the blessing of adoption later in life. Little one, we are so glad we did because it led us to you. We simply cannot imagine our lives without you.

As you get older, you may have some questions. I want you to know that it's OK....your dad and I are strong enough to handle them and we expect them. You will wonder about your birth family and why they let you go, and about your birth country and it's people. You may even feel lonely and sad for them. It's OK. We will love you through the questions and do our best to help you process the grief that accompanies adoption. We will hurt for your hurts and are already praying that our God will heal those empty places in your heart where your questions linger. You may not look like us, but you are no less part of our family because of it. You belong here.

I continue to be amazed at this incredible gift we have received. I pray we will be the parents you need us to be and you will always know of our love for you. There is nothing you could ever do to change that....nothing. We will never give up on you, leave you or turn our backs on you. You are ours forever...and our hearts are full because of it.

I love you,
Mom

An Update on Us

2009-09-16T21:06:00.006-05:00

We have been home for 3 1/2 weeks now.....tomorrow (the 17th) it will be exactly a month since we laid eyes on Elijah for the first time.
Time is a confusing thing, isn't it? How can it seem like just yesterday that we were in Ethiopia and meeting Elijah, and yet seem like he's always been here...? It's hard to believe. Of course I remember the waiting, wanting to receive a referral, and then anxiously awaiting to pass court. I remember the travel plans, the lists of things to do, and the preparations we made. But, I also feel that I have known Elijah forever. I have said it before, but I am amazed at a God who places a child in your family from across oceans and yet they fit just perfectly. I know that everyone who adopts does not feel the instant connection and bond, but we have been fortunate to. We love this kid more every day.

Our "big" kids have transitioned well. They are all eager to help and love their brother. Their assistance has been invaluable...we are so proud of the way they have welcomed their brother into their family and embraced him. (It was just 5 of us for 10 years, remember!) They seem to really "get" why we started this adoption journey. They know he WAS an orphan, but also really embrace the concept that he is no longer. It has been an amazing thing to watch. I pray that God will use this experience in their lives to open their hearts up to whatever He has for them.

Elijah has had an amazing transition as well. He has just begun to become wary of people he doesn't know so well. He looks for Nathan and I if we are in the room and while he doesn't (usually) cry if someone else picks him up, he is definitely checking them out and wants to be able to see us. This is a great sign to show that he is bonding to us and recognizing us as his care givers. So, while he doesn't smile as readily for strangers, it's actually a good thing. Elijah's blood tests came back confirming that he is a healthy little guy and we are so thankful for that. He is delightful to be around - easy, happy, laid back and yet full of personality. We think he's charming! :)

How about mom and dad? Well, except for the early morning feedings, we've adjusted well. Many people have asked us how it is to have a baby again, and while it takes us longer to get out of the house, it really hasn't seemed much different. You just do what you have to do - it's your child! Nathan and I love being parents and enjoy having a little one around again - especially one this cute. There are, of course, times when a couple of them need me at the same time and I can feel pulled in more than one direction, but our oldest three have been awesome about being patient in those situations.

So, we are settling in and finding our new normal. We feel blessed x4 and wouldn't have it any other way!

The first time ever I saw your face.....

2009-09-03T21:41:00.006-05:00

"Every good and perfect gift is from above...." James 1:17

Ethiopia

2009-08-28T17:06:00.014-05:00

Ethiopia really was the trip of a lifetime. I tried to prepare myself for what to expect and what I would see, but I found myself surprised and amazed nonetheless. Ethiopia is known, unfortunately, for poverty and famine. While that is, again unfortunately, part of it's story; it would be a great disservice to stop there. What I discovered Ethiopia to be is a country of beauty, pride, rich history and warm, loving people. Yes, to stop telling the story at poverty would be inaccurate.

It was not uncommon to see women walking hand in hand or men walking with their arms around one another. Their relationships are important and they are not distracted with the busyness of life and hectic schedules. They have time for one another. It's a much slower pace of life. The Ethiopian people love children and babies and stop often to admire their smiles or shower affection. I found myself wondering how many "every day" blessings I miss because I am too busy or rushed to get to the next thing. There is much beauty in these people - physically, yes, they are beautiful; but also in their warmth towards one another.

The landscape of Ethiopia is beautiful as well. I do wish we'd had more time to get outside of the city to see more of this, but even to look up into the mountains from the city you could see glimpses of Ethiopia's landscape.

The children, though.....oh, that is where my heart is. I tear up even beginning to remember them. How beautiful they are. Truly. My heart rejoices with the little ones who went home with their forever families, but aches for those left behind it. I mean it - I feel a physical ache remembering these little ones. The orphans, both on the street and in the orphanage, just longing for you to look them in the eyes and connect with them. Just wanting to be noticed and feel important....even if only for a moment. Leaving them behind is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I vowed that I would bring their story and tell it to others.....do you have room? I mean, really...? I really am asking you.....do you have room for one of these precious children to have a home and a family to call their own? Yes, I know it is expensive.....yes, I know it is an investment......yes, I know it will change your life and your own kids may have to make sacrifices.....you may have to do without something else or even borrow money to do it......But these children are real. They are just like yours and mine. It is tempting to let the distance act as a buffer and allow us not to digest the fact that there are children in this world who are hungry.....yes, physically hungry; but also hungry for love, attention, connection and family. There are really not many of reading this that can honestly say we don't have that to give.

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act"
Proverbs 24:12

Happy at Home

2009-08-26T12:21:00.005-05:00

Elijah is adjusting well to being at home. He is a happy baby and we think he's darling. He even slept through the night last night (9-6) - we are pretty impressed with that! He smiles easily and is so engaging...it is so fun to have him around. What a blessing!

I was prepared to come home and be exhausted and possibly overwhelmed, but none of that has happened. Eli fits perfectly into our family and while it does take a little longer to get things done now, it all seems very natural. We have yet to establish a real consistent napping routine, but it has only been 3 days since we got home!! We are happy with his night sleep and will develop a routine for napping soon enough. We have had a few visitors and are happy to see them and share our latest addition.

I am amazed at God's ability to take a child from another part of the world and mesh them into our family. We just feel like he is ours. Period. Only an incredible God like the one we serve could perform the miracle that is adoption. I will be forever grateful that He brought us on this journey and saw fit to bring Eli into our home.....the blessing is all ours.

We are HOME!

2009-08-24T08:52:00.005-05:00

Hi Friends....we are finally home! I was unable to update the last part of the week and then we started our journey home on Friday.....it was quite a trip! Elijah traveled so well and I was very proud of him. Travel is exhausting and he was hauled all over the place, but he was quite a trooper.

We discovered on Thursday evening that Eli had a fever. This was upsetting as you can imagine, not only just because he was sick, but also because we had several long flights ahead of us. Luckily I had taken infant Tylenol and Motrin that we gave him. He was still usually happy and content, though....only fussy when he was tired or ready for more Tylenol.
We began our trip home on Friday (evening there) and were glad to have two other families we had traveled with be on our flights home. Our first bump in the road occured at the ET airport where the guy checking passports did not want to let Elijah through......he looked at his passport picture and his visa picture and insisted it wasn't the same baby.....my heart was POUNDING!! He told us to "come back tomorrow" and bring more documentation. I just silently prayed and tried to explain that babies change and grow hair, etc. and it was the same child. He finally let us through, but kind of in a "I'm doing you a favor" kind of way.....whatever....just get me home!
Our flight to Dubai was uneventful and Eli traveled well and then we boarded in Dubai for our LONG flight to NYC. Nathan and I did not get seats together, but he was only two rows behind me and I did get a seat with a bassinet for Elijah to sleep in....that was a huge help. He was in there maybe not quite half of the time - I was so thankful to have it. This flight was SO LONG - it was scheduled to be 14 hours. Elijah did so well.....I got several comments from flight attendants and passengers about what a happy (and cute) baby he was. Even so, the flight was hard and I was exhausted by the end....it's really impossible to get good sleep on an airplane. As we were preparing to land in NYC, our plane was rerouted back to Boston to land because weather (?) prevented us from landing in New York - Let me tell you, people, after a 14 hour flight this is NOT what you want to hear! We sat on the tarmac at Boston for another 2+ hours and then made our way back to New York. At this point, we had less than 1 hour to make it through customs, claim our bags and run to our next flight......we hurried, people let us in front of them, and ran when we could, but could not make our flight. I wanted to sit down and bawl right there.....I was exhausted and MISSING MY KIDS!! I was so sad not to be getting home.
We were very thankful that our friends, the Stacklers, who had traveled with us to ET with our adoption group, were at the airport to take care of us. Amy got us water, gave me formula and William helped us find our bags and look up possible other flights and just supported us. They had had an exhausting flight with a 2 year old and yet took the time to take care of us.......I know God put them there to help us through that time and it was invaluable....thank you Stacklers!!
We went on to stand in a couple of different lines....dragging our huge carry on, four suitcases and a feverish baby through the airport. We were a sight. We were told that the only flights available were the next day - there was nothing that day at all!! The airline put us up in a hotel....not a great one, but a room with a shower and beds. We had to switch rooms when we got there because the air wasn't working in the first room (it was HOT!). We showered, ate and slept the rest of our time there....it felt so good to sleep!!
On Sunday, we went to the airport to check in. The airline representative then explained to us that we had not been given actual seats, we were on stand-by! The thought of not getting home again was unbelievable, but luckily, we were able to get seats......talk about RELIEF. In retrospect, I was glad that I hadn't known all night we were on stand-by (we were told we had seats) - I wouldn't have slept as well, I am sure.
Our flight got into Indy at about 3 on Sunday and it was SO GOOD to see my kids and family there waiting for me in the airport!! What a relief it was to all be together and to not have to get on another plane!

Our three big kids are excited to have a new brother and have been almost disappointed that he has slept so much since he got home - they are ready to play with him! I am loving being in my own home again and love that all of us are together and can get to know each other. Elijah is feeling much better and his fever seems to be down. His cough and cold are clearing up, too....still congested, but NOTHING like it was in ET. We are thankful for that.

I am still processing much of what I saw in Ethiopia....I am still trying to think of how to share it and express to you the urgency to step up and care for these children without coming across as bossy or judgemental.....it is not my heart to be either, but it is my heart to somehow express to you HOW MANY children like Elijah need loving homes. I believe it is God's plan to use us to care for these children. I wish each of you could see it all with your own eyes. I know I am forever changed because of what I saw....at least I hope I am. More on that to come.....
For now, I have to go feed my baby! :))

Yay for Successful Consulate Appointment!

2009-08-19T13:18:00.001-05:00

Today was another eventful day....we had our consulate appointment at the American Embassy in order to be sure all the paperwork was in order and to obtain Elijah's visa. The visit was a success and we can pick up his visa on Friday.   (our agency will actually pick it up for us)    We are thankful for this, because this is occasionally where families will run into trouble with their paperwork and have to stay longer in Ethiopia.   We have enjoyed our time here, but will be ready to get home and back to a routine and our 3 big kids!

Elijah continues to do well and be a good baby - we feel so blessed. He has babbled even more today and luckily liked the sling I brought to carry him in. He was a great sleeper last night - almost 8 hours!! That was awesome. The only trouble was that I didn't sleep as well because I laid there all night listening for him. Now that I know his schedule better, hopefully I will sleep better tonight.
Please pray for us and the other families we are traveling with as we bond with our kids and travel home with them.   There are many adjustments to be made.    Some kids will struggle more than others, but all of them have lost a great deal to come home with us.    Eli seems to have adjusted well so far, and we pray that that continues.

Sorry for the sideways picture yesterday.....I have to post through email and wasn't sure how to turn it.    Thanks for following along!

Fwd: SERIOUS.CUTENESS.

2009-08-19T12:35:00.001-05:00

I am attempting to add a picture to my blog (will someone please email me and tell me if you can see them??).    We can't see our own blog from here....you can only email to it and I haven't tried pictures before!

We have Elijah in our room now....he is ours forever!!   People...this kid is seriously cute.    He's also such a good baby.   He's very content (so far!) and laughs and giggles a lot.   He also "talks".    It has been so much fun to have him with us!   I am hoping that his good disposition will continue and that the flight home will go as well as possible with a 7 month old! (we'd love for you to pray specifically for that).

We feel fortunate that we have continued to feel good and haven't gotten sick.   We are enjoying our time here and soaking in all the culture we can.   Ethiopians are beautiful people are warm and friendly. There is much poverty, but there is also much good in this rich culture.   I am thankful for our time here to learn more about where our son came from.

That's all for now.....more later if I can get an internet connection!

Today

2009-08-16T12:51:00.001-05:00

We've had a good day today. We are both thankful that we are feeling well and getting adjusted to the time change....every now and then it will hit us, but we slept pretty well last night and had a little nap today (well, I did!)

We started the day by going to a local church here.   It was not a traditional Ethiopian church as I had thought it might be, but an evangelical international church.   The service was done in English and it felt much like our church does at home....there was a band leading worship and the pastor is originally from South Carolina.   The neatest part about going, though, was that you could look around the church and see people from all nationalities and colors all worshiping together.   There were a mix of Africans as well as Asians, Americans, Europeans, and so on.   It was like a look into heaven.

After lunch our driver, David, (who is awesome) took us to see the area in which our Elijah was found.    There are not words to describe this area of Addis Ababa.   The people are desperately poor and the conditions are beyond what I can explain.   I am sure, after seeing it, that Eli was abandoned due to desperation.   I mean it when I say that it appeared as if these people had NO resources....Children everywhere, wandering, and many just sleeping in the streets. (Yes, some of them literally in the streets).   The kids were precious; running alongside our vehicle, not to beg, but for you to smile at them or take their picture.   Just hungry for attention and connection.    It was crowded and filthy and yet the people are so warm.....walking alongside one another holding hands or with their arms around each other.   I kept looking around at these people...these children....and thinking that this could have been Eli's future. Easily.   We will never know his full story, but I can tell you that I have a new appreciation for what could have been for him had God not rescued him.   It is humbling to be a part of that plan.

Tomorrow morning we fill out more paperwork, go to lunch and then to go the Transition Home to meet Elijah!   We will spend the afternoon with him, but do not take him with us until Tuesday.   I honestly can't believe this day is here.

Please continue to pray for us - for our health and Eli's, for our paperwork and for our meeting of him tomorrow.   Tomorrow is a no power day, but if they turn the generator on in the evening again, I will try to post!

We Made It!

2009-08-15T13:19:00.001-05:00

Well, we are here!   We made it to Ethiopia on what is for us, Saturday morning. (while you were sleeping Friday night) Our flights were long, but uneventful, which is a good thing. The guesthouse we are staying in is nice and the people that work here are very friendly and helpful. We are thankful to be here after such a long journey!

It is surreal to think we are in the very city where Elijah is.   It seems surreal that we will meet him in two short days and he will be ours. I'm not sure it will seem real until we meet him and hold him for ourselves.

The city is full of people and the contrast between the poor conditions and the beautiful landscape is a hard one to digest.   We spent the afternoon looking around with another adoptive family, the Gillmans.   We went to the top of Entoto Mountain and to a couple of museums and then walked to have dinner tonight.   Tomorrow we will go to a local church - I'm looking forward to that. On Monday, we will meet Elijah!!

I will post as often as I can, but we only have power every other day.   As I write this, I am hurrying because we only have power because they turned the generator on at the guesthouse for a little while.   I don't want it to go off in the middle of my post!

Thanks for following along...more later!

This is it!

2009-08-12T17:52:00.002-05:00

Well, friends.....here we are! The day is almost here that we will board a plane and fly half way around the world to meet and bring home our precious Elijah. I can hardly believe it's actually here - it seems surreal. My emotions have been all over the place....I am, above all, incredibly excited! What started as a stirring in our hearts has become reality and I am in awe that our ever faithful God has brought us this far. I am overcome with gratitude and emotion as I reflect on His goodness and that He saw fit to include me in such a wonderful plan as this.

We feel blessed and privileged to have so many of you praying for us. It means everything to us. Here are some specific ways you can pray:

Pray for us to be able to see things through God's eyes. I can feel that He is changing my heart through this journey, and I want to become more like Him in this process.
Please pray for safe travel. (Safety, flight connections, no lost baggage, etc.)
Health - I am a wimp. (There, I said it!) I have a weak stomach and become easily exhausted by stress. Please pray that both of us would stay healthy (Eli, too!) and also sleep well.
Please pray for all of our paperwork to be in place and for our Consulate appointment on Wednesday.
Pray for our 3 big kids (Haley, Hayden and Emma) during this time we are gone. They are totally fine with us going and are in great hands.....we aren't actually worried about them, just missing them already and want them to have a great time while we are gone.
Attachment and bonding with Elijah. I feel like God has already woven him into my heart....I am praying that somehow he will do the same for Eli and that somehow we wouldn't feel like total strangers to him. Please pray that he will attach to us quickly.

Thank you, thank you for praying for us. We will try to post some while we are gone....check either here or on Facebook. Power and internet in ET is a little sketchy, but I'll try to get something up every now and then!

Love, Kathy

We can ALL make a difference...

2009-08-09T21:42:00.005-05:00

One Week!!

2009-08-06T21:21:00.003-05:00

Can you believe it?? The countdown is on....I can hardly believe I am typing that we will be leaving in one week to go meet Elijah and bring him home! It's surreal....some moments I feel like it is going to happen and others I can hardly wrap my brain around it. It's actually happening!!

We are busy packing, planning and preparing - for our trip, to leave our 3 big kids for a week, and of course, for Elijah to come home. We have piles and lists all over our bedroom.....I'm a girl of order, so it's making me a bit crazy. All for a good cause, though, right? :)

Many have asked "how we are doing". Nathan, of course, is cool as a cucumber...not much rattles him. I have to say, though, most of the time I'm doing pretty well myself. The anticipation of travel is probably what makes me the most nervous. We are not international travelers, so this is a bit of unfamiliar territory for us. I feel a great peace, though, about adding Eli to our family and bringing him home. (Yes, I know it will be an adjustment, and no, I am not in denial!) The idea of bringing him home and getting to know him makes me giddy with excitement.....it's just the longest leg of the flight (14 hours) that makes my stomach turn a bit!

CUTEST. BABY.EVER!

2009-07-31T15:55:00.008-05:00

We got our monthly update for Eli today, and here is what it said:

He is 14lbs. and approx. 25 1/2 inches long. He is a happy and content baby who smiles a lot and is quiet most of the time. I think we hit the jack pot, don't you??!?
He is healthy except he has pink eye right now....poor baby. They are treating it and hopefully it will clear up quickly!

THIRTEEN DAYS until we leave to go get him - SO EXCITING!!

ELIJAH IS OURS!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-27T08:21:00.000-05:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Tonight while we sleep.....

2009-07-26T19:50:00.003-05:00

Tonight while we sleep, a judge in Ethiopia will look over our adoption case. If all goes well, and all is in place (including that letter from MOWA!), we will pass court and Elijah will legally (in Ethiopia)be our son. We hope and pray that is the case. We are trusting in God and His timing. We want things to happen in our own timing, but know that He knows best. This has been kind of a rough week for me as I have struggled to keep my eyes on Him and not fret about our court date. This time is a little harder because we have not passed court already.

If you are reading this on Sunday night, please take a moment to pray that all will go well and we will pass court tomorrow. I will post tomorrow when I know either way.

If we pass, you'll get to see his cute little face!!!

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40:1-3

About Ethiopia.......

2009-07-24T16:45:00.001-05:00

Why Ethiopia?

Ethiopia is one of the five poorest countries in the world, with four out of every five people living on less than $2 a day.
Subsistence agriculture a way of life for 90 percent of its population and yet, despite the prominence of farming, agricultural production is low and extremely vulnerable with cyclical drought.
The country’s persistently low rainfall totals are a major factor in the extreme poverty that exists in rural areas as well as period famines that affect millions on people.
Ethiopia’s population has grown dramatically in the last several decades, from 33 million in 1983 to more than 75 million today. Many of the world’s poorest people live in rural areas of Ethiopia that face acute shortages of basic social and an almost nonexistent economic infrastructure.
For example, access to safe drinking water in Ethiopia is at critically low levels. Just one in three people have access to clean water while just 13 percent has access to adequate sanitation services.
Waterborne diseases claim the lives of hundreds of thousands of people each year. One Ethiopian child in 10 dies before their fifth birthday; half of those die from diarrhea.

from a Glimmer of Hope website

Is there room in YOUR heart......?

2009-07-19T20:04:00.000-05:00

Tentative Travel Dates!!

2009-07-18T18:02:00.002-05:00

We received tentative travel dates from our agency yesterday!! If we pass court on July 27 and all goes well, we will be in Africa from August 15-21 - probably actually traveling from the 14th-22nd.

This makes it so real - it feels so close, I can't believe it!! We have much to do before then and the nerves are beginning to kick in a little, so please pray for us. (well, me, my hubby doesn't really get worked up about much! :)

So excited!!

Change of Heart

2009-07-12T13:43:00.002-05:00

Since we started this adoption process, I've had a change of heart.

You see, when we began this journey it was all about wanting to be a purposeful part of God's plan and fulfilling His mandate to care for orphans. We felt like this was a way God wanted to use our family and that He could use us to provide a home and opportunities to a child who had neither.
I still have a huge heart for orphans...I want to work on their behalf and make a difference for them. I am working in our church to start an orphan care and adoption ministry and am so excited to see what God is going to do with that. So, my heart has not changed for orphans.

But, it has changed towards this adoption. Our adoption is no longer about an orphan. It is about our child. Something has transformed in my heart....Elijah is no longer an orphan, he is just our child. He belongs to us. So, this adoption is now about bringing our child home...the child that was chosen for our family and planted in our hearts. Not about orphans.

Of course I realize that Elijah was an orphan and I guess technically is until we bring him home. But, the blessing is ours. We get to love and raise this child. He feels as much mine as our other children do. That, my friends, is the miracle of adoption.

New Court Date

2009-07-09T15:09:00.003-05:00

Well, we have a new court date for Elijah!! It is July 27. We feel fortunate that we have been given a new date and that things seem to be moving along in the court system. This indicates that they do have a sense of urgency about getting these children home. Yay for that!! One little possible hitch - MOWA (remember them....the all important agency that needs to write us a recommendation letter to pass court!!) is closed until Friday, July 24, so that gives them ONE DAY to write their letter before our court date on the following Monday. This fact is what is leaving me cautious about getting too excited. Our agency has said, " MOWA begins work again on the 24^th so we very hopeful that everything should be in place for them to complete your recommendation letter by the 27^th." Here's hoping!

I want to be excited. I am not pessimistic, just cautious. Our agency says, "Prepare for the worst and hope for the best." I've heard this advice before...under many circumstances I would give it myself. But this is about a child. My child. I just don't know how to tell my heart to do that. I don't know how to walk the invisible line between hope and caution when it comes to my child and wanting him home. It's a tough road to walk.

So, until then, we will continue to prepare and gaze at our pictures and dream of what it will be like to have him home - and hope that day is coming sooner rather than later!!

More Information....

2009-07-07T15:44:00.003-05:00

OK, so today has been a tough one. AND emotionally draining to say the least.

Here's the scoop: Most of you know that MOWA (ministry of women and children's affairs in Ethiopia) has not been writing letters of recommendation for abandoned children within the city of Addis. Elijah was abandoned in the city, so this has affected his case. Our family did not receive the letter from MOWA we needed to pass court.

GOOD NEWS: MOWA has agreed to begin writing letters for these cases. We anticipate receiving a letter the next time we have a court date.

BAD NEWS: We do not have a new court date and MOWA is closing until July 24 for training. (kind of an inopportune time if you ask me, but they didn't consult me!) There is a very small possibility that we will receive court date at the end of this week, but more than likely we will have to wait until after MOWA reopens to find out our new court date. We are still unsure if the courts will close in August like they usually do, which of course could affect our case as well.

Elijah is still ours. He will still be a part of our family in time. It is heartbreaking to think of him growing up without us. It seems senseless. I'm his mom and he doesn't even know me yet. That makes me so sad. However, I am thankful that our case will be resolved in time. I am hopeful for our future as a family and I still very much look forward to the day when we can bring him home!!
Thank you for praying for us.

Court

2009-07-07T09:12:00.004-05:00

We did not pass court today. We were lacking one piece of important paperwork. Nothing more to say at this point.....we are just sad. Thank you for praying.